Signs That They Still Have Feelings For Their Ex
As much as we'd all love to be completely stable in our relationship at every moment of every day, there are going to be challenges. Some are easy to deal with, some are more complicated.
One challenge you might have to face is that feeling you can't shake that your boyfriend or girlfriend still has feelings for their ex or isn't completely over their past relationship.
If They're Friends Soon After Their Breakup
The debate about whether you should be friends with an ex is an ongoing one, but the key factor for most people is how soon after the breakup do they transition to friendship. Did they break up a few weeks ago and are back to hanging out as "just" best friends, or has it been a few months and they're friendly in social settings?
She Brings Him Up A Lot
It might be casual references or passing comments, but it's a lot of them. She brings up her ex-boyfriend in conversations, telling stories about things they used to do or comments about past behaviors.
They Left Their Partner For You
Jumping immediately from one relationship into another doesn't leave a lot of room for closure, even if they've supposedly been looking to end the relationship for a long time and say they've come to terms with it.
He Avoids Talking About Past Relationships
"We don't need to talk about her, I only care about you" sounds nice in the moment, but talking about past relationships is an important part of moving forward in your new one.
She's Not Happy For Them
If you've truly moved on from an ex, most people are able to genuinely say they just want their ex-boyfriend or girlfriend to be happy. If she gets upset that he's dating someone new or upset that he seems happy even though you're supposedly in a happy relationship with her, you might want to be a little worried.
The Breakup Wasn't Their Decision
Whether your partner was the dumpee or the dumper in the breakup can have an effect on how they feel about it now. If they were blindsided by the breakup, they need time to process their emotions.
She Stalks Him On Social Media
You look in her most recent searches on Instagram or Facebook and see his name near the top of the list, or you see that she's often commenting and liking his posts, more than she does with other people.
They're Clearly Still Angry About The Breakup
The true sign of being over someone or past a relationship would be wanting happiness for them, or at least feeling indifference. Holding onto anger could mean they're holding onto other feelings, too.
They Always Defend Their Ex
While someone who is holding onto a lot of resentment is a cause for concern, so is dating someone who has their ex on a pedestal. No matter how badly their ex treated them, they always defend them and won't allow anyone to make even a slightly negative comment.
He's Too Eager To Progress Your Relationship
He wants to hit all the major milestones sooner than you expected and he completely throws himself into the relationship. It might not seem like a red flag, but it could mean that he's trying to convince himself this is something he wants, or that he's using it to get over his ex.
He Prioritizes Them Over You
If she calls or texts him asking for his help or advice, he's always willing to help her, even if that means sacrificing his time or relationship with you. He probably uses the excuse "we have history together" too, right?
He Compares The Two Of You
There is pretty much no situation where it's acceptable for your boyfriend to be making comments comparing something that you're doing to something that his ex did or didn't do.
She Seems To "Run Into" Him A Lot
Do you find that your girlfriend frequently runs into her ex-boyfriend, or maybe you run into him together in public a lot? It could be a coincidence, but it could be that she's going to places she knows he'll be because she's hoping to run into him, for whatever reason.
She Doesn't Bring You Around Her Friends
Everyone knows that meeting friends is an important step in the relationship. Do her friends think it's too soon for her to be dating because she still has feelings for her ex? Is she not ready to move forward in your relationship?
He Still Has Her Stuff
We're not talking about a box of belongings that he still hasn't got around to dropping off at her apartment. No no, we're talking about her stuff still being displayed around his apartment such as photos he claims he forgot to take down.
It Feels Like He's Just Going Through The Motions
He's doing and saying all the things that you want from a boyfriend at the beginning of a relationship, but it doesn't feel like he's fully committed to it. He knows what you want him to do, but the feelings aren't all there.
He Asks Mutual Friends About Her
He openly asks friends they share about her, how she's doing, or if she's dating anyone. He's invested in her still and interested in what she's doing—beyond a friendly curiosity.
You Still Haven't Met His Family
If you're a few months into dating and you feel like things are on the right track, but you still haven't met his family, it could be because he recognizes that's a big step in the relationship. More importantly, it's a step that he's not ready for yet, maybe because he's unsure of his feelings.
Is Your Insecurity Coming From Somewhere?
Even if you've already convinced yourself that your partner is still hopelessly, completely in love with his ex, it never hurts to look at your current relationship too. Your insecurity could be you projecting because of something that's wrong between the two of you that has nothing to do with his ex.
In The End, It Comes Down To Trust
Your boyfriend could be exhibiting every sign that we've talked about while still telling you that he's completely over her and invested in your relationship. You have to make the decision about whether or not you want to trust him.
