Convos With Men That Will Make You Want To Stay Single Forever
If there’s one thing to turn you off of dating forever, it’s the following conversations that were had with real living breathing men.
Some of them are so painful they might as well be a modern-day tragedy.
Bye Felipe Shares The Worst Of The Worst
The Instagram account @ByeFelipe was created in 2014 and accepts submissions from people (mostly women) who have seen the worst of the worst on dating apps and elsewhere.
What started as a place for women to anonymously share the most offensive messages they receive now serves to remind us all that single might be the way to stay.
Roses Are Red, Romance Is Dead
If this is his definition of poetry, someone needs to send this man back to school.
Everyone knows better than to finish “Roses are red” with something so unoriginal and cringey—everyone except this guy.
He’s Waving A Giant Red Flag
This woman dodged a total self-admitted creep within fewer than 10 messages’ worth of conversation.
He quite literally spelled out his intentions for her and they were absolutely not good ones.
Being Honest Is Not The Best Policy
To the woman who politely said that she’s “not really interested in talking” anymore, we’re so sorry you spent so much time entertaining this jerk.
He won’t feel better saying those things but he will be bitter forever and probably single.
“Wow Tell Me More About How Much You Hate Women”
There’s always a catch. In this case, it was that the guy was a misogynistic jerk.
At least he self-sabotaged and wrote it out for her before she had to find out the hard way in person.
This Non-Conversation Is Straight Comedy
It’s hard to say why guys on dating apps get so offended when they don’t get an immediate response, it’s not like their match owes them anything.
This man tried to get God involved when he was feeling single and sulky.
Tbh, Nobody Asked For Your Opinion
There’s nothing quite like an unsolicited insult to get the conversation going.
Thankfully, this woman was far wittier than her tragic Tinder match and hit him back with a burn that’s going to require some aloe.
It’s Always A Matthew
If every Matthew could try to do slightly better for the sake of all Matthews everywhere, they could probably reclaim their name.
But right now, it’s almost always associated with a weirdo like this. Go away, Matt.
Who Wouldn’t Want To See A Duck?
This dude’s typo tried to save him from being a creep but he insisted on the creepiness and corrected himself.
Hot tip: Way more women want to see a picture of an actual duck.
This Guy Is Reading Between Lines That Don’t Exist
Sometimes a question is so downright dumb that you can’t tell if the man you’re talking to is being serious or trolling.
Unfortunately, in far too many instances, he’s being 100% serious.
Fragile Male Ego
At least this guy knows he’s an insecure loser with a fragile ego problem.
But it’s clear that knowing you’re a jerk does not stop you from being one. There are a lot of layers to this buffoonery.
What A Terrible Question To Ask Someone
Do men genuinely believe that women weigh their breasts?! Someone, please help us understand where these toxic misconceptions come from.
All we’ll say is that they weigh far more than the male ego ever could.
Send This Man Back To School To Learn Some Manners
When a woman has to say “well that escalated quickly,” she usually means “that got way too uncomfortable way too fast.”
On the flip side, when a guy says, “I’m just very forward,” he’s really just saying, “I’m rude and don’t care that it bugs you.”
Nobody Was Talking To You At All, David
The most obvious sign of a fragile ego is when a man gets rejected and immediately insults the woman’s body.
This girl knew how to laugh it off with a joke but she deserves so much better than trash like this in her DMs!
This Is Just Painful For Everyebody Everywhere
If a man has to ask what “consent” means, it’s time to run for the hills.
It’s highly possible that he has never spoken with an actual woman in real life and would not know how to because what the heck?!
See You Never, Rob
Sometimes, you just have to hit them with the cold hard truth.
Rob was definitely not ready for this response, but he deserved it, and also crossed himself off the potential matches list with his very first message. Adios!
Tell Me You Have No Female Friends Without Telling Me
What’s worse than making a woman feel unsafe? We’re not sure, but shaming a woman for putting her safety first is a close second.
This guy knows nothing about what it means to be a woman in society and he’s weirdly bragging about it.
Hey, Little Guy!
When in doubt, respond with a joke and a GIF that’s sure to shut him up.
This guy took the wrong approach and fell flat on his face, only to look up and see Dory making fun of him. We love to see it.
“He Said Creepily”
This is a four-part short story exchanged in text messages. There’s a rise and fall of action, a narrator, and an explosive ending.
Too bad it was at the expense of the poor woman who had to answer these messages.
If It’s A Numbers Game, This Dude Is Losing
If dating online really is a numbers game, he’s admitting that he’s truly terrible at the game.
Nobody wants to date someone with those stats or those goals. Good luck shooting your next shot, buddy. We have a feeling you won’t even come close to the net.