It’s that time of year again! It’s supposedly “the most wonderful time of the year.” You were fine being single up until now, but now you’ve got to deal with everyone asking you why at Christmas dinner. But maybe it’s not all bad…
Whether this is your first Christmas alone or your 13th, here’s the good and bad of being on your own over the holidays.
Worst: Every Relative Asking You If You’ll Ever Bring A Date
Leave it up to literally every single member of your family to ask you when you’ll finally put yourself out there because you’re not getting any younger. Good thing Aunt Sue knows the mother of the sister of the local market’s cashier that she wants to set you up with.
Best: You Can Treat Yourself With Every Dime You’re Not Spending On Gifts
Not having a partner during the holidays means saving a whole lot of cash on a present that they wouldn’t have appreciated anyway. This means it’s time to go shopping! At least you’ll love everything you spend hours picking.
Worst: Freezing Alone During Cuffing Season
Why do the holidays have to happen during the coldest time of the year? Nothing about freezing your butt off shopping and slipping in the snow trying to get home is wonderful. If only there was someone whose sweater and body heat you could use as you cuddle up and watch the snow from inside.
Best: Picking Between Your Family And Theirs
When you’re dating someone, you go through yearly anxiety of not wanting to disappoint either side of the family, but not knowing how to split the holidays between them evenly. Someone’s mother always gets upset and threatens to boycott Christmas altogether. Bonus: when one of you has divorced parents and Christmas turns into a four-day event
Worst: So Many Happy Couples On Instagram
People you didn’t even know were dating, people you haven’t spoken to in years, basically the whole planet seems to be showing off how happy it is in pairs while you look at their pictures in matching PJs by the tree all alone from your bed.
Best: You Get All The Leftover Food
Think of all the extra turkey and pie you’ll be stuffing your face with for days without having to put a “do not touch” sticky note on it in the fridge so that your s.o. doesn’t steal it. Plus, who cares if you put on a few pounds from it — the only person you need to impress is yourself.
Worst: No One To Binge Hallmark Movies With
You know what? This is a blessing in disguise. You can only force an unwilling s.o. to sit through so many hours of “city girl goes to small town and fall in love with secretly rich man and discovers the true meaning of Christmas.” Now there’s no one to judge you and you can watch as many as you want without any complaints.
Best: Your Baby Pictures Won’t Be Coming Out
You can focus on having life chats with mom without her having the need to tell your whole life story to your date through baby pictures that are way too embarrassing to be shown before marriage when they’d already be stuck with you.
Worst: No One To Kiss Under Mistletoe
…Or to kiss in general. That’s fine. Winter is when people catch the most colds and viruses so really you’re just protecting yourself. Plus, now that it’s 2020, it’s hard to kiss through a mask anyway.
Best: You’re In Charge Of The Engineering Of Your Gingerbread House
If you’re just two people, you probably won’t bother getting two whole gingerbread houses to decorate because they’d just go stale. Rather, you’ll fight over the most optimal spot for the candy canes. When you’re alone you can decorate however you want, and then eat the whole house that night if you so desire.
Worst: All The Exes Popping Up Left And Right
There’s just something about that “most wonderful time of the year” air that gets everyone feeling lonely and nostalgic. All of a sudden your exes are curious if you’re home for the holidays and if maybe you’d want to meet up. But, you can’t even throw back that you’re taken in their face to make up for the fact that you’ve done everything possible to erase them from your memory.
Best: No One To Judge Your Chocolate And Wine Intake
Nothing is worst than blissfully indulging in a whole tray of Ferrero Rochers and a bottle of wine, only to hear “honey don’t you think that’s enough.” It’s enough when you say it’s enough, which now that you mention it might be another bottle of wine later.
Worst: It’s Either Family Time Or Solitude
One of the perks of having a partner is that if neither of you feels like dealing with your families that year or can’t make it home for whatever reason, you still have each other. When you’re single, you’re in a family of one.
Best: You Get To End The Night By Sprawling On The Bed
The last thing you want to do when you’re all bloated from Christmas dinner and still in a food coma is share a bed, or worse, have to subtly keep moving away from their wondering hand because nothing about how you feel right now is sexy. When you’re single you can have the bed all to yourself and get your well-deserved beauty rest.
Worst: Your Only New Year’s Kiss Is The Champagne Bottle
Sure, you could avoid every mistletoe in sight, but when you make it to the New Years’, there’s no escaping the countdown and everyone around you is puckering up. The only thing left to do is to chug the rest of the champagne bottle.
Worst: Your Only Party Date Options Are Ben And Jerry
Maybe Papa Johns will be available too, but past that your date options are very limited. Either you need an excuse for not attending the office party, or you’ll just have to mingle with all the wives and husbands as they go on and on about how they met.
Worst: You Have No Excuse For Leaving Early
Sometimes you’ve had enough watching Nana dose off after dinner and you just want to go home, but Dad won’t let you skip out on the Christmas carols portion of the night. Without having another person to blame the early exit on, you’re pretty much stuck there.
Worst: Realizing You’re In The Same Spot You Were In Last Year
Another year has gone by and here you are still as far away from starting a family and buying a bigger house with the combined income of your dream partner. Maybe this year will finally be it!
Worst: Chopping And Carrying The Christmas Tree Alone
You might as well settle for a plastic tree because there’s no way you’ll be able to ax down a tree and strap it to the roof of your car and carry it into the house all by your lonesome. Plus, who’s going to check if the star is up straight when you climb the ladder to put it on?
Turns Out Being Single During The Holidays Is Just The Worst
We tried to find reasons to feel better about being single during the holidays, but turns out we were set out to fail. The holidays are designed to be romantic and shared. From Hallmark movies, deals on chocolate, and deals on matching PJs, there’s just no escaping all the reminders that you’re once again single during the holidays.