Women Share Why They Cheated

When a question was posed to women on Reddit asking them to explain why they cheated on their spouses or partners, the ladies of Reddit came ready to spill their secrets.

The general theme of the answers seemed to be that women who weren’t happy with their partner or weren’t getting what they needed would look for it elsewhere, outside of their relationship. You can decide for yourself what you think of these women’s reasons for cheating.

It Actually Worked Out, Kind Of

couple having dinner in dark restaurant
Photo Credit: Pexels
Photo Credit: Pexels

“My marriage was in the dumps and I couldn’t get my husband to hear me, and I was at the end of my rope. It was a cowardly way of creating a catalyst so that SOMETHING would happen. In our case, it finally made him realize how broken things were and we started working on things and sorted it out.

“It’s a wound that will never heal for him, though, and I will always be sorry for that.” —Reddit

“I Felt No Guilt”

couple in jeans seated holding hands
Photo Credit: Gary Barnes / Pexels
Photo Credit: Gary Barnes / Pexels

“I was not very invested in my relationship and was quickly starting to think that it would end in not too long. My best friend, who I was 100% in love with, was visiting me in town. We hooked up, and it was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. I felt no guilt.

“I never told my boyfriend. I do not regret it to this day; however, in the future, I would dump someone if I didn’t care about them enough to be in that situation.” —tr33hugger20 / Reddit

She Told Him Before She Started The Affair

couple in leather jackets fighting in park
Photo Credit: Vera Arsic / Pexels
Photo Credit: Vera Arsic / Pexels

“I told my husband that I felt trapped financially and that I was going to have an affair instead of leaving him.

“He started trying to lay ‘ground rules’ for what I could and couldn’t do during my extramarital affair and I got pissed off. Long story short, I started the affair in Dec. last year and it’s been great, it has actually improved my marriage—believe it or not, it has been an amazing outlet for my anger and frustrations.” —__unique_username / Reddit

They Didn’t Know About Each Other

couple in kitchen unpacking boxes
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

“I dated the same guy from 15-18 years old. We were long-distance for most of it—he made me all these promises about how wonderful our life would be. School ended, I moved in with him. He was NOTHING like the guy I’d been talking to for months.

“I met a nice guy at work. After a month, we moved in together. The guys didn’t know about each other. I kept the facade up for a year, switching back and forth between guys/apartments. I moved away and broke up with both of them in the same night.” —sharpiefairy666 / Reddit

Coming To Terms With A Marriage Ending

man and woman on couch at counseling
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

“I tried to get us to go to marriage counseling but he refused. He didn’t believe in therapy. I started sleeping around and was sure not to get caught.

“And actually, by cheating, I met my current boyfriend of four years who was able to convince me of the reality and extent of the abuse I was going through with my husband.” —nerdscallmegeek / Reddit

So It Was Just A Distraction

back of man's head while couple is kissing
Photo Credit: Budgeron Bach / Pexels
Photo Credit: Budgeron Bach / Pexels

“I did it because he gave me the attention and affection my former SO didn’t give me in those moments.

“He had a girlfriend as well and we never intended to be together, it was just for fun times.” —Reddit

The Relationship Was Already Falling Apart

happy couple outside on boardwalk
Photo Credit: Budgeron Bach / Pexels
Photo Credit: Budgeron Bach / Pexels

“The relationship I had was falling apart. At some point I just gave up. […] I stopped trying to be his friend, I stopped cleaning. Looking back now maybe we would both have needed help. I know I lost my will to do anything around that time.

“And that’s when I met the sweetest, nicest guy on the planet. And I just fell in love. Of course I wanted to sort my life first, but I also didn’t see a way to do that back then. Instead, we dated pretty much under my partner’s nose.” —Reddit

Getting Attention From Another

woman with head in hands and man looking disappointed
Photo Credit: Pexels
Photo Credit: Pexels

“Wasn’t happy with my partner. He didn’t give me the attention—mentally, emotionally, or physically—that I needed. I loved him, but I felt like he kept me around to pass the time.

“My best friend, though, he gave me all the attention I needed and made me feel like the sexiest woman in the world.” —weekendoffender / Reddit

It Wasn’t About Her Husband

couple on beach at sunset
Photo Credit: Pexels
Photo Credit: Pexels

“The cheating wasn’t about him. It was about me. He has always rocked. I didn’t love the other guy. He liked sex and didn’t ask me about my kid ever.

“My husband was (is) a great dad and I was an a**hole with self-esteem issues and an existential crisis to work out.” —Reddit

Ending An Eight-Year Relationship

couple silhouette in alley
Photo Credit: Flora Westbrook / Pexels
Photo Credit: Flora Westbrook / Pexels

“I cheated on my boyfriend of eight years. I have had doubts about us in the past because though we have some things in common, we’re very different people.

“I saw an old fling from before I met my current SO who is still a friend and we kissed. Not full-on making out, but tongue. Right afterward I felt absolutely terrible.” —throwaway39872367 / Reddit

It Wasn’t A One-Time Thing

man and woman touching hands on table
Photo Credit: Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas / Pexels
Photo Credit: Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas / Pexels

“[My fiancé] treated me like sh*t and I don’t know why I stayed, but I was in love with him and I did. It was still long-distance, and I met someone who was funny and charming and sweet and wonderful. It was just friendly at first; he was a customer where I worked, and we would flirt when he came in.

“We wound up having an affair that lasted over two months. He made me happy instead of dragging me down.” —te7en / Reddit

It Made Her Feel Appreciated

woman laughing with head in man's lap
Photo Credit: Nycolle Suabya / Pexels
Photo Credit: Nycolle Suabya / Pexels

“The other person made me feel whole, wanted, and human. I thought I actually loved him. Maybe I did.

“He built me up and gave me the confidence I needed to at least kick my ex-husband out. In the end, it didn’t work out.” —eirilyn / Reddit

It’s How She’d End The Relationship

silhouette of couple almost kissing
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Photo Credit: Pexels

“I used to have a bad habit of letting relationships drag on far past their emotional end. I would fall out of love with these men, but I didn’t realize it until I had fallen for someone else, and by that time I was contemptuous and disillusioned enough with the relationship that I didn’t really care how it made the guy I was dating feel.

“I would end up kissing the new guy, and breaking up with the old guy immediately after. Essentially the cheating served as the catalyst for ending a relationship.” —Reddit

It Was The Easy Way Out

woman on subway with man lying his head in her lap
Photo Credit: Pexels
Photo Credit: Pexels

“I cheated on my ex because I was in a very serious relationship way too young and did not know. For me personally, I needed to go out and explore myself sexually and even in different relationship dynamics.

“I couldn’t find this in my partner and took the easy way out. I was unprepared to end that relationship because of how close he was to my family and vice versa.” —idontwearsweatpants / Reddit

Running Into An Old Flame

empty nightclub bar
Photo Credit: Rachel Claire / Pexels
Photo Credit: Rachel Claire / Pexels

“She told me she didn’t love me anymore.

“I moved with my brother in a neighbor city and started working in a nightclub as a photographer, bumped into an old flame, and she began going to the club. After my shift we usually would go to my place, have a good night, and leave it at that.” —xyrer / Reddit

Just Because She Could

couple in photobooth only legs showing
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

“I cheated…because I could. The end realization was that I wasn’t very happy with my relationship at the time. Neither of us were (we’ve talked about it in a civilized manner since). Things were stale and we were young and I cheated and things blew up.

“We would have broken up eventually, my actions just became a catalyst. It was an awful way to have it end up, but it would have ended regardless.” —isthiswitty / Reddit