One of the most common things that we each individually hate in other people is hypocrisy, but we’re all kind of hypocritical sometimes. The number of times that I break my own rules in ways that I would hate from others is nuts.
These women came together on Reddit to share things they regularly do that they wouldn’t accept from a partner, and the answers were amazing.
We Sometimes Care More For Others Than Ourselves
“Eating poorly. When I was living alone, I was often too lazy to cook and end up reaching for non-nutritious snacks or not eating at all. When my partner and I were living together, I would cook just to make sure he would eat well, and he would do the same for me.”
Nothing Like Friend Cuddles
“Cuddling my friends.”
I personally love cuddling my friends and sometimes I get sad thinking about how guys never get to just cuddle with the homies. Normalize cuddling with the bros.
I Mean, I Think I’d Feel The Same Way
“Being sloppy with chores. I can cut myself some slack, but I’m less likely to be understanding when my husband doesn’t clean something perfectly. I’m working on being grateful that it’s done regardless.”
Can You Say Type-A?
“Being a control freak. No one can tell me how to plan a trip, how to do certain chores, how to cook a certain way, what road to take. I am working on not being so controlling myself though.”
Only I Can Talk About My Mom Like That!
“Disrespecting my parents. I can vent about them as much as I want, but if he says something like, ‘Yeah they’re being ridiculous,’ I get upset…”
I can make fun of my mom, but don’t you ever try insulting that perfect woman.
It’s Harder To Open Up Than You Think
“Suffering in silence. Whether that’s not communicating a relationship need, or struggling with mental health, or what. I want someone to feel comfortable talking to me and sharing problems with me. But I can’t communicate to save my life, I just freeze up and tolerate things to avoid conflict.”
It’s Okay To Need More Support In Certain Ways
“I require more emotional validation from him than he does from me, and it’s lopsided in a way that can be unfair to him. We have a great relationship so these moments aren’t very frequent, but this is currently the trait I least like about how I act in our relationship.”
This Makes Total Sense
“Insulting me. If a significant other insults me, they’re gone, but I insult myself on a daily basis.”
No one is going to be meaner to me than me, but that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to try.
Women’s Bodies Really Just Be Doing That
“Bleeding heavily for a week a month. I’d be taking that guy to the hospital by the second hour.”
When it’s written out like that, periods really sound terrifying, huh?
Call Me Marie Kondo!
“Being cluttered, but I think it’s because I what consider to be ‘cluttered’ is different to others. I currently have five things on my coffee table and three of them need to be put away, and to me, that’s hella cluttered. My ex’s idea of clutter is there is so much stuff all over the couch and around it he has to move things before he can sit.”
I Annoy Myself With My Own Indecisiveness
I don’t know why it’s so hard to do simple things like pick a restaurant to eat at or choose between two nearly identical pairs of boots: it just is.
Why You Gotta Yell At Me? I’m Baby 🙁
“I get angry enough to raise my voice over just about any meaningless disagreement—I basically just have poor emotional control responses. I know it’s tough to be on the receiving end.”
No One Likes A Loud Chewer
“Chewing loudly: I do it occasionally, but it’s my one pet peeve that I have about that I couldn’t tolerate in a partner.”
I don’t know what it is about eating sounds that make my skin crawl, but they’re gross.
This Is So Unfair
“Ripping nasty farts. There can only be one.”
A relationship should be 50/50. One person does horrible, disgusting farts every once in a while, and the other does the same on occasion.
Tell Him To Pull His Weight!
“Blowing off house chores. I do more around the house, sometimes I don’t always do it immediately. If he has something on his to-do list it’s because I asked specifically for his help.”
Laugh It Off A Little Too Much
“Using humor to avoid a topic or responsibility. I’m working on this, but I absolutely hate it when a partner does it.”
Why take life seriously when you can instead treat everything like a joke?
I Have Reclaimed That Word
“Calling me a b*tch. My husband has never called me that, with one weird exception, on stage in a comedy show. And even though it wasn’t ‘me’ or ‘him’ having the ‘conversation’ it still really got under my skin hearing it from his mouth at me.
“I have referred to myself that way a handful of times, but it could absolutely never go the other way.”
That’s My Comedic Content
“Joking about my mental health and traumatic past.”
Listen: joking about your past experiences and trauma can be a good coping or healing method for people, but you should never make light of someone else’s trauma.
Overall, Equality In Relationships Is Important
“I really can’t think of anything of the sort. Hypocrisy and double standards are some of my biggest pet peeves, and if I realized I was doing that to my partner I’d have to rectify it immediately.”
Eventually, It All Balances Out
“I can get pretty unreasonable when something is lost. Like I jump right into anger and blaming other people, and most of the time it turns out that it was my own fault. I have zero tolerance for that kind of thing from my partners.
“That said, I also tolerate things that I would never do myself, because I feel like people are unique and you don’t have to be treated identically in order to be treated fairly.”