Everyone wants to make a good impression during a first date, and we end the night secretly hoping it will turn into something more. Women like to believe that chivalry isn’t dead, but when it comes to whether a man is always responsible for footing the bill on a first date, is this a sexist norm or an act of chivalry?
One woman took to TikTok after a first date had a not-so-happy ending, and her thoughts on who should be responsible for paying the bill have polarized viewers.
First Date Etiquette
After weeks of talking, you and a guy you’re interested in finally decide to go on a first date at a trendy new bar. You’ve both just had a wonderful time and now the server is coming around with the check.
But when it comes to who should pay, what’s the proper etiquette? Should the couple split it evenly, only pay for the items they consumed, or should the guy pay for the entire thing? One woman on TikTok seemed to think so.
Adriana Ibeth, also known as @adrianaibeth0 on TikTok, posted a controversial video about dating etiquette that went viral with over 300,000 views. In the now-private TikTok, Adriana begins the video by saying, “I’m going to take a second and talk about something that just happened to me because, literally, I [freaking] cannot.”
She explains that she finally agreed to go on a casual meet-and-greet get-together with a man she was interested in, especially because they had already canceled on each other multiple times before.
The pair go to a bar where Adriana orders one drink and her date orders two. He then offers to take her out to a restaurant to grab a bite to eat, to which she agrees. When Adriana asks the server for the bill, her date echoes her and asks for “the checks” which sets off alarm bells for Adriana.
Why was this move off-putting? She says it’s because he automatically asked for separate checks and didn’t offer to pay her bill.
No Second Date
Outside of the bar, Adriana says that she changed her mind and doesn’t want to go out to the restaurant anymore. During her drive home, her date calls her as she’s complaining to her friend about “what a [freaking] horrible idea this was.”
Her date asks her what went wrong, and she explains it’s that he split the bill and didn’t offer to pay. He responds with, “Well I don’t owe you anything, and this is not how I wanted to meet.” Adriana then ends the video by looking into the camera and saying, “Excuse me?”
An Act Of Chivalry
Adriana’s video quickly went viral and polarized users, with many of them saying that her date’s lack of chivalry was a red flag and that she was right to deny him a second date. Others said if he doesn’t have money to take a woman out on a date, then he should just stay at home.
“He knew what he did and that’s why he called to defend himself,” commented one user.
It’s All About The Money
But not all the comments, however, were in Adriana’s favor. Many other users called her out for her reaction to the issue of “the checks” and how automatically expecting a man to pay for a date isn’t chivalrous, but tacky and cheap.
“I mean you just showed that all you care about is the money and not the guy’s feelings. My guy just dodged a bullet,” one user commented.