Phones and online dating sites have changed the way we meet, flirt, and fall in love. Maybe even for the worse. Clearly, technology has been able to change and modify the English language, which is why we have so much new vocab to learn.
Not only are there tons of different terms out there (who can forget about YOLO), there are also lots of dating terms to learn about. Today, we’re going to focus on zombie-ing and haunting, which are pretty similar (so it’s okay if you still feel confused after reading this). Both terms are connected to ghosting, which is when a partner or hookup just flat out disappears, like a ghost.
There Are So Many New Dating Terms Out There
There are so many crazy dating terms out there, I can hardly keep them straight. You can be breadcrumbed, which is basically another word for leading someone on.
But, apparently, you can also be zombied by an ex, and haunted.
I’m Sure You’ve Heard Of Ghosting
Ghosting is when someone you’re seeing just flat out disappears from your life, never to be seen again.
So if you’ve ever been texting someone back and forth and suddenly the conversation just ends and never gets picked back up, chances are you got ghosted.
So, What Exactly Is Zombie-ing?
Zombie-ing is when someone who you once dated comes back from the dead and reappears in your life.
Perhaps they reach out to you via social media and slip into your DMs, or even the old-fashioned way by a phone call or text.
They’re Trying To Resurrect The Relationship
So, the same way zombies are humans that have come back from the dead, you’re being “zombies” if a person you once dated came back into your life and acted as if nothing happened.
You haven’t had contact with this person in quite some time, and now they’re back in your life. Zombie-ing can feel even worse than ghosting, because it is way more confusing.
Popping Back Into Your Life Unexpectedly
According to Urban Dictionary: “It’s where someone you previously dated (and very likely cared for) or were even in a relationship with, ghosted you.”
“Only to then resurface sometime later, most likely in the form of some sort of social media interaction or an out of the blue text message.”
It May Come At A Bad Time
“Usually the zombie-ing happens just when you’ve gotten over the hurt of having them ghost you in the first place.”
“Then, all of a sudden, they subtly reappear (I say subtle – it can feel like a slap in the face!) causing more emotional upset.”
It’s Worse Than Ghosting
Being on the receiving end of a zombie can feel confusing. It can be super strange and hurtful when someone disappears out of your life for quite some time, then pops up again out of the blue.
Also, it can lead to an on-again-off-again relationship if the two of you start hooking up again.
It May Feel Flattering
But you may even feel flattered by it. If someone you were dating reaches out to you again after radio silence for quite some time, it can be a bit of an ego boost.
But just know if this person keeps inserting themselves into your life with confusing intentions, they probably have no idea what they want — and they are probably not worthy of your time.
Worthy Partners Don’t Confuse You
Just remember that people who are relationship-worthy should never leave you confused, and they should behave in a way that is consistent.
You deserve someone who KNOWS that they WANT to be with you.
They Reinsert Themselves Into Your Life Like Nothing Happened
If you’ve been zombied by an ex before, you’ll know that they continuously find ways to insert themselves back into your life. They’ll try to rekindle the relationship, or they want to hang out casually again.
If you say yes, it can be hard to let go of them again when you don’t really have any boundaries with one another.
It Could Work Out
There are tons of successful relationships out there who have broken up and rekindled years later, but those are the SUCCESS stories.
And the guy probably isn’t trying to win you back by shooting you a message on social media.
Zombie-ing Is Different From Haunting
While zombie-ing refers to someone who was once in your life popping up again, there’s also haunting, which is a little different.
Zombie-ing can lead to a totally new and exciting relationship, while haunting isn’t as glamorous.
What is Haunting?
Haunting, according to Urban Dictionary is “When someone tries to hit you up after ghosting you.”
So, although zomebie-ing usually refers to an ex or someone you saw for a longer period of time hitting you up after a breakup, a guy who is haunting you hits you up after full-on ghosting you.
They Continue To Vanish & Pop Up Again As Opposed To Doing It Once Like A Zombie
Basically, when a guy disappears on you and then returns only to vanish and reappear as per his convenience, he is haunting you.
So, maybe you went on a couple of dates, and he flat-out ghosts you. Then, he starts randomly replying to your Instagram stories and complimenting you or he’s texting you late at night once a month.
Both Dating Phenomenons Are Not New
While there are all kinds of new terms referring to our dating lives, the actual actions aren’t very new.
There are plenty of Rom-Coms and personal stories featuring an old love popping back into someone’s life.
Social Media Helps Us Ghost People Easier
So, people have been ghosting and haunting one another since the beginning of time.
It’s just easier to reach out to someone after breaking up, or ghost someone with the help of social media and the internet. And now we finally have scary, yet fitting terms for these things.