There are so many rules and guidelines that you're supposed to follow when it comes to starting a new relationship or getting involved with someone new, and it's hard to keep them all straight. Is it bad to double text? Should you wait a certain amount of time to respond? What do you do if they don't answer your text?
Instead of telling you what rules you should follow to get someone to answer your messages, here are a couple of ways for you to take matters into your own hands and get the response you're waiting for.
Ask Them To Text You Later
Maybe they're better at following instructions than they are at taking initiative. The best way to get what you want is to say it, so toss in a casual "text me later!" when you're leaving and see what happens.
Make Yourself Less Available
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and sometimes the best way to get someone to message you back is to not be ready to respond every minute of the day. Keep yourself busy and give them a chance to respond to your message or start a conversation.
Make Your Conversations Memorable
Do your best to keep your conversations interesting. Don't fall into the trap of exchanging "how's it going?" back and forth all day. Message them if you have something fun or interesting to say, so they associate those feelings with you.
Don't Push Them Too Much
You might be someone who likes to be in constant communication with the person you're interested in, but not everyone is the same, so you've got to ease them into it and work your way up.
Embrace The Double Text
We've all had a time where someone has texted you, you opened it but then you got distracted and forgot to answer. If it's been a little while since they responded, send a second text. Don't spam their phone, but forget about the "no double texting" rule. Remind them you're waiting for a response.
Call Them Out For Never Contacting You First
If you're sick of always being the one to message first and you're feeling particularly confident, call them out for it. Straight-up ask them why you always have to contact them first. They probably don't even realize it's happening.
Figure Out Their Preferred Method Of Communication
The reason they're terrible at texting you or never remember to text you back might not be that they don't want to talk to you, maybe they just don't want to talk to you like that. Figure out if they prefer texting, calling, Snapchat messages, or Facebook messenger, then work with that.
Get Over The Stigma Of Being The First To Text
While there are many ways that you could manipulate them into contacting you first, you also need to let go of the stigma that the person who waits is the one who has the power. If you want to talk to someone, just do it.
End The Conversation First
Leave 'em wanting more, you know? Whether you stop answering or you tell them you have other things to do is up to you, but try to be the one who ends the conversation first.
Don't Ask Them Questions That Are Easy To Avoid
If you want to keep the conversation going, don't ask questions or send messages that can easily be answered with one or two words and then die off. Set yourself up for success and message them in a way that requires them to answer.
Make Your Interest Clear
You may think that you're being obvious or that you're sending all the right signals, but it never hurts to add a couple emojis or flirty messages. They might not want to text you if they're not confident that you like them back.
Contact Them In More Than One Way
If you're trying to get someone to answer your text, try sending them something on Instagram or a different app and see what happens. They still might not answer, but at least you'll know if they're ignoring your text or if they're not looking at their phone at all.
Post Something You Know They're Interested In
You both like the same band? Share a screenshot on your Insta story to show you're listening, or share a funny meme that you know they would laugh at. Give them an easy way to reach out.
Play A Game
Don't play games with them, but not every message you send needs to be filled with deep meaning and purpose. Send them a funny "would you rather" question or game and go from there.
Stop Including Them On Mass Snapchats
They're going to be less motivated to message you back if you include them in Snapchats or other messages that were clearly sent to a group of people. Even if you send them the same thing, try sending it separately.
Post A Straight-Up Thirst Trap
We've all done it once or twice, and we're all aware when someone else is doing it, but it doesn't make it any less effective. People wouldn't keep doing it if it didn't work.
Try Sending Texts That Don't Actually Need A Response
Establishing communication of any kind is the first step. Sending texts that just remind them that you're thinking of them gets you both used to talking more frequently or thinking about the other person, without being in the middle of a constant conversation.
Send A Snapchat Notification Without Sending Anything
If you feel like going into full-on crazy mode in order to get his attention, Snapchat is the way to do it. Go to your conversation with him, start typing out something—anything—then delete it and close the app. They get the notification that you were typing, it makes them think of you, and then they'll message you...hopefully.
Make Your Time Together As Memorable As Possible
You want to talk to someone that you had a lot of fun with or that you like spending time with. Focus less on their texts and more on the actual time you spend together. The messages will follow.
Break The Ice With Something Random
Not every conversation needs to start with a "hey, how's it going?" Try sending a random question to break the ice that they can respond to without feeling any pressure.
Please Don't Be The Drunk Texter
If someone doesn't respond to your texts, don't be the person who calls them out for that after they've had a few too many glasses of wine. It never ends well, and you'll probably just feel embarrassed.
Don't Try To Shift The Conversation To Text If It Doesn't Start There
For example, if you post something funny on your Instagram story that he chooses to respond to, don't then try and transfer the conversation to text. Stick with whatever form of communication they started with.
Accept That Maybe He's Just Not That Into You
I'm sorry, but it needs to be said. If someone is consistently not texting you back or never responds to your Instagram DMs, they might just not be interested in you, and it's time for you to move on. Don't waste too much of your time on someone who isn't reciprocating.
No Text Is Worth This Much Agony
If you are placing so much emphasis on whether or not someone is texting you back, you should reevaluate your mindset. Be confident in what you can offer, knowing that if they aren't interested, someone else will be.
Focus On Yourself
Instead of spending your energy worrying about why he hasn't responded to the Snapchat you sent him three hours ago or thinking about what witty sentence to start your next conversation with, spend your energy thinking about yourself.
Consider Your Own Expectations
If you decide to throw in the towel and move on, take a little time to consider your own expectations. How important is communication like texting for you when you're in a relationship or looking to start something with someone? Think about what you need moving forward.