Ways That Men Test You At The Beginning Of A Relationship

When you’re starting a new relationship, you’re trying to get a feel for what kind of person you’re with and whether or not you want to continue that relationship. Everyone has their own way of determining what they’re looking for, and a lot of times, that can involve little tests.

If you feel like the boy you’ve gone out with a couple of times is testing you, he probably is. It might be subconscious, or it could be intentional, but you’re probably not imagining it. Here are a few ways he might be seeing if you’re up to the task.

He Flirts With Other People

man standing in front of group of women
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio

Even talking about other women a lot could be him trying to figure out where you stand. Are you someone that cares if he has female friends, or do you consider flirting a form of cheating? It’s best to address that right away.

He Pushes You To Eat The Eyeball Of The Fish

woman and man hiking in woods
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Amber Kipp
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Amber Kipp

You might not always be in a scenario where he wants you to eat something gross or crazy, but he might push you to try new things. Are you someone who likes to try new things and be adventurous, or are you stuck in your ways?

He Invites You To Watch Football With His Friends

people sitting around campfire
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Phill Coffman
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Phill Coffman

This is an easy one: he just wants to know if you’re interested in his hobbies, or at least willing to participate. He could invite you to watch the game, or go camping, or any other activity. You don’t have to know anything about football or even like sports, but you’re willing to share things with him (and win over his friends in the process!).

Leaving You On Read

woman point at phone screen
Photo Credit: Pexels / Porapak Apichodilok
Photo Credit: Pexels / Porapak Apichodilok

If he has a tendency to leave you on read, it could be because he wants to see how you’ll react if you don’t get your way. Are you a patient person, or do you want what you want right when you want it?

“Let’s Hang Out”

couple sitting on bed at home
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Sinitta Leunen
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Sinitta Leunen

Are you someone who wants every opportunity together to be an adventure or a new activity, or are you someone who is happy to Netflix and chill on a Thursday night?

Making Bold, Outrageous Statements

couple with skateboards along water
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez

If he randomly says “let’s go rob a bank” or “we should go sky diving this weekend,” it’s probably not because he actually wants you to drive the getaway car. He wants to see if you immediately shut him down, or if you can play along.

Asking A Lot Of Personal Questions Right Away

man and woman touching hands
Photo Credit: Pexels / Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas
Photo Credit: Pexels / Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas

He asks you to share your deep, dark, childhood secrets on your first date or to tell him about your family trauma because he wants to see if you’re open to him or if you’re closed-off. You should try to find the balance between sharing and oversharing until you’re comfortable, because it’s not all about what he wants—you’ve got to set clear boundaries.

Questioning Your Loyalty Or Commitment

man standing woman seated in ktichen
Photo Credit: Pexels / Alex Dugquem
Photo Credit: Pexels / Alex Dugquem

It’s not uncommon for him to question your loyalty in the beginning of a relationship, whether that’s by looking through your social media, paying attention to notifications that pop up on your phone, or by outright asking you. He wants to know if you’re talking to other people, or if you’re interested in being with just him.

Do You Mean What You Say?

couple outdoors at cottage
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Anna Pritchard
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Anna Pritchard

You told him you were looking for a serious commitment or for a relationship, but every time you’ve hung out, it’s just been at his apartment. If you want him to put in the effort, you need to tell him that; otherwise, all he’s learning is that he doesn’t need to live up to your expectations.

Poking Fun At You

couple outside laughing around flowers
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Matheus Ferrero
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Matheus Ferrero

A lot of men will make jokes at your expense or tease you and then call it flirting, or claim that they’re testing to see what your sense of humor is. There’s a difference between playful sarcasm and insults, though, so stand up for yourself if something makes you uncomfortable.

Picking A Fight Over Nothing

woman arms folded sitting on bed
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez

If it seems like he’s trying to start an argument over nothing, he might be. He could be trying to test if you’re someone who blows up easily, or if you’re able to settle an argument properly and communicate what you’re feeling without being dramatic.

Playing Hard To Get

woman looking at man looking at camera
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Kyle Bearden
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Kyle Bearden

Everyone knows that if someone is playing hard to get, it’s because they’re testing you. Women and men both do it, mostly because everyone wants someone who’s going to put in a little bit of effort. He wants you to show him that you’re interested.

Periodically Disappearing Or Not Responding

woman talking on phone
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Taylor Grote
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Taylor Grote

It doesn’t mean that it’s acceptable for him to stop responding to you for a few days at a time, but he could be doing it because he wants to see if you’re independent. Will you get annoyed with him, or do you go out and live your own life in the meantime?

He Surprises You Or Changes The Plan

woman with small bouquet of flowers from man
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Alvin Mahmudov
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Alvin Mahmudov

Do you need everything to be planned down to a tee, or are you cool with him giving you an approximate time for when you’re going to do something? Can you be spontaneous and go with the flow when he switches up the plan, or will you get upset?

He Never Calls When He Says He Will

woman with two hands holding phone
Photo Credit: Pexels
Photo Credit: Pexels

He might be your typical forgetful male who genuinely doesn’t remember that he said he would call you when he got off work. On the other hand, he could be holding off to see if you’re willing to put in the effort and pick up the phone yourself and reach out to him first.

Only Making Plans At The Last Minute

woman on couch looking at phone
Photo Credit: Pexels
Photo Credit: Pexels

Another way he could be testing to see how flexible you are is by only committing to plans at the last minute. More often than not, though, it results in you spending a Saturday at home alone because you turned down other plans “just in case” he wants to do something. Go live your life.

He Questions Your Opinions

woman talking animatedly
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez

It’s not a full-on argument, but he likes to push back a little or question your opinions. He wants to see if you can stand your ground and defend your point, or if you give in right away.

He Has A Tendency To “Forget” His Wallet

woman with lots of cash
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Sharon McCutcheon
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Sharon McCutcheon

Even if he’s not super-wealthy, some men worry that a girl is only going out with them or looking for a relationship because they want someone to pay for them. If you’re willing to split the check or pick up the check when he “forgets” his wallet, it eases his fears.

He Doesn’t Take “No” For An Answer The First Time

man and woman eating at table
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Matt W Newman
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Matt W Newman

Men are always going to want to test your boundaries and see what you’re willing to let slide, but this is one of those things that should be a red flag for you. There’s a big difference between encouraging you to try something new and pushing you to do something you’re not comfortable with.

Remember, You’re Not Required To Pass His Tests

couple in white with one flower
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Juan Pablo Rodriguez
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Juan Pablo Rodriguez

Just because he feels it’s necessary to be testing you in the beginning of a relationship, that doesn’t mean that you have to participate. If you’re not okay with something, his justification for it doesn’t matter, so be aware of what boundaries you’re okay with being pushed.