Ways Guys Trick You Into Sleeping With Them
Dating is tough. Anyone who has done it recently can attest to that. When you're just getting to know someone, it's hard to trust that you really understand them and what they want from you.
You would think it would be as easy as just having a conversation about it, but unfortunately, we somehow exist in a dating climate where people think it's OK to lie about what they want, or to use other people to figure it out.
If you're worried that the new person you're dealing with isn't on the same page as you, these are some things you can look for.
He Shows Just Enough Interest
This is a guy who is talking to you just enough to let you know that he's interested. In what? We don't know yet.
He'll start texting you just as you're telling your friends you're gonna give up hope.
Then He Starts Pulling Back
In the beginning, he will show you that interest, but gradually, you will find him pulling a bit back.
He likes the chase and wants you to feel like you need him and want him even more.
He Often Goes Very Overboard
When he does actually give you attention, it's almost overwhelming with how overboard it is.
Your phone is blowing up and he's showering you with love and attention and can't wait to see you!
He Won't Stop With The Compliments
He's gonna start behaving like he'd love nothing more than to be the only man in your life, and he'll talk about how amazing you are and how he can't believe that you're actually single.
But pay attention to the nature of those compliments. Are they mostly physical?
He Makes A Lot Of Big Plans
This is a low tactic, but one that a lot of guys use.
They'll make it out like they can see a long-term future with you and talk about stuff like taking vacations and how much their parents will love you.
He's Super Persistent
We want someone who wants to spend time with us, sure.
But, when he gets it in his head that he thinks he can get some tonight, he's going to make sure he does everything in his power to hang out.
He's Very Charismatic And Charming
A guy who wants to get you into bed is just going to be dripping with charm.
He's going to wine and dine you and try and swoon you all the way back to his place.
He Always Invites You To His Place
You might think that this is him being vulnerable with you because he wants to cook for you and show you where he lives.
But if you've only hung out once or twice, think about if you're ready to take things to the next level, because it's probably what's on his mind.
You Eventually Stop Having Real Dates
After you have hung out a few times, the kind of date he wants to go on changes. He'll always be about the Netflix and chill life.
It's likely because he thinks he has won you over enough that he doesn't have to do couples things anymore.
Everything Is Really Last-Minute
You might think it's cute that he's hitting you up last-minute on a Friday night because there is no one else he'd rather spend time with than you.
But in reality, you're probably a booty call.
He Says He's Not Just Waiting For Sex
He'll mention to you a few times that not everything is about sex and that he'll wait for the right person.
Trust, this is just a trick to make you feel like it isn't the be-all and end-all for him, and you're going to think that he won't take advantage of it.
He Asks A Lot Of Sexual And Physical Questions
That doesn't stop him from asking some super sexually charged questions.
He'll want to know about what you're into, if you have any kinks, and what your past partners have been like. It might seem like he's trying to get to know you, but is it?
He's Touchy-Feely
He's always doing things like rubbing your leg or touching your hands.
He likes to sit so close your bodies are touching and it might feel a bit much for the first few hangouts.
He Gets A Bit Emotional
Some guys think that the way into someone's bed is being really open with them so they'll tell you a bunch of "poor me" sob stories about how they've been so wronged in the past.
He's just faking vulnerability to force an emotional connection. Don't fall for it.
He Agrees With Everything You Say
You might just start thinking that you're the smartest person around because he's going to just agree with everything you say, even if he has no real idea of what you're talking about.
You can ask follow-up questions to see if he actually knows or cares about a given topic, and if he can't come up with an answer, you've got yourself a player.
He's Undeterred By Red Flags
I'm not saying that you're a broken person who shouldn't be dating, but we all have things about us that can be considered red flags.
But a guy who is just trying to sleep with you won't take any of that seriously.
He Acts Carefree
He seems like he's always happy and he's got nothing on his mind but being near you and hooking up and hanging out, but it's probably a façade.
We're all human, and most of us take our lives seriously.
He Has Cute Pet Names For You
There isn't anything wrong with having nicknames for people, but if he's starting to call you things like "doll" or "babe," he's just laying it on thick.
It's part of him putting on that charm.
He Says He's Not Talking With Anyone Else
He keeps telling you that he isn't talking to anyone else, even if you don't bring it up. He wants you to get it in your head that you don't have anything to be threatened by.
If his intentions are good, then that's nice, but check in with your gut when he's telling you these things.
He Tells You Not To Worry Too Much
If you've been talking enough that you think you should have the talk about feelings but he's telling you not to worry and to just go with the flow, that should be a big sign that he's not here for anything other than a good time.
Planning for the future is normal if you see a future with someone, so if he doesn't want to talk about it, it's worth worrying about.
Keep Your Eyes Open For Signs That Sleeping With You Is All He Wants
So now you know some of the tricks guys use to get you to hook up with them. That's part of the battle. But that doesn't necessarily mean that that is all they want from you.
There are some signs, though, that will help you spot those gross guys who are only looking for a booty call.
He Always Tells People You're "Hanging Out"
There is nothing that screams "he's just trying to sleep with you" more than a man who is going to tell people, if he tells anyone at all, that you're just hanging out.
He can say whatever he wants to your face, but if he won't admit it to his friends and family, he's leading you on.
He Doesn't Retain Anything You Tell Him
He might ask a lot about you to make it seem like he is interested, but he certainly doesn't retain the information, and over time, you find yourself repeating things he should have remembered by now.
He only wants to remember important things, and he doesn't see you as being important. He sees you as a means to an end.
He'd Rather Make Out Than Chat
The first few times you hung out, he wanted to know everything about you, but after a couple of hangouts, it becomes clear that he would rather make out than actually have chats.
The talking was all just a means to an end.
He Only Wants To Hang Out At Night
If he doesn't take you on dates and only wants to hang out at night, those are two big red flags that all he might be interested in are hooking up.
It's dark out, they're hoping it will make a vibe, but really, it means they just want to skip everything that happens before hooking up.
He Actually Tries To Netflix And Chill
If you walk into a guy's house and the lights are dim and he's got Netflix up on the screen, then you know that he is literally trying to Netflix and chill with you, and that just isn't acceptable.
Be better than that.
His Attention Becomes Less Intense After You Do Hook Up
Unfortunately, there are guys in this world who become drastically less interested in you once they've slept with you.
Remember that that isn't about you at all—it's all about them—but know that it's a sign you should probably move on.
He Only Compliments How You Look
He's full of compliments, but they're only compliments about how you look, not about the other great things about you, like how smart you are and how amazing you are as a person.
It's a sign of a one-track mind if he's only complimenting you on one thing, and his compliments will let you know what he values about you.
Any Kind Of Physical Touch Leads To The Bedroom
There are no cute little hugs or stealing kisses, any kind of physical touch means that it's bedroom time, and there is no in-between.
At first, you might just feel it's because he's passionate, but then it becomes irritating.
He's A Little Manipulative When You're Not In The Mood
If you're not in the mood, which is totally OK to not be, he starts to pout or tries to make you feel guilty about not wanting to get down and dirty.
This can quickly escalate, especially if he feels entitled to your body. Know the signs, and don't let yourself be manipulated like that.
Fine You Admit, You’ve Fallen For Their Tricks Every Time, Now What?
If you’ve nodded along to all these tricks and sadly realized that you’ve been there and done that, don’t fret, we all have. Now you have two options.
You can either walk away knowing that you deserve better, or, if this is someone you caught feelings for already, you might be able to turn the hookups into a relationship. We can show you how.
Take The Guessing Out Of The Equation
At this point you know they’re just trying to sleep with you, but you’re likely wondering why and if that’s truly all they see in it. They might have just not given a relationship any real thought. But if you were to ask them if they saw potential and point out your connection, it might get it to click in their minds.
Even if the answer isn’t what you want to hear, then at least you get to know if you two ever stood a chance.
If They Say No, You Could Get Closure
If you take the guessing out and don’t get the answer you were hoping for, you might still get a win out of it. You might at least get an understanding of why.
It might be that they’re starting a new job or moving soon and don’t want to start something serious. This way, at least you don’t blame yourself and assume you’re a fool for falling for someone’s tricks.
Set Clear Boundaries
Make it clear to them that you’re not going to sleep with them if a hookup is their only intention. Then stick to your word. Do whatever you have to do, even if that means chugging down a can of beans before you see them so that you’re too gassy to cave into temptation.
Maybe they’ll realize how badly they want you and realize what they’ve been missing out on.
Don’t Pretend You’re Okay With Casual If You’re Not
If they say a hookup is all they’re honestly interested in, don’t feel the need to agree to keep on doing it just because they are. You have nothing to prove to them.
This almost always ends up with your feelings getting hurt, and it prevents you from taking the opportunity to meet someone who can actually give you what you need.
Get A Friend’s Support
We’re not saying you should just ask your best friend for some advice. No. Literally, give her your phone and ask her to change the password if you need to in order to not reply to his advances.
Plus, a second set of eyes will help you spot his tricks whenever he tries to reel you in.
Don’t Try To Change Yourself
Before you even try, let us save you the trouble by telling you that you can’t change their perspective of you just because you’re changing the way you look or act.
If they’re trying to trick you into sleeping with them, it’s unlikely that this has anything to do with who you are, and more with where they’re at.
Don’t Try To Make Them Jealous
Seeing you go off on dates with other guys might make them jealous momentarily, but this won’t necessarily change their ways.
There is a slight chance that this makes them realize they have feelings for you, but it’s still a manipulative mood. It could create a toxic relationship even if you were to then date.
Show Them That There’s More To You Than Just A Body
Don’t let your mind play tricks on you. Just because you fell for his tricks over and over, and he doesn’t want more than a hookup, that doesn’t mean that you’re only as good as what your body has to offer.
This a them-problem, not you-problem. Keep on being you, sis! We both know you know how smart, driven, caring, and hardworking you are.
To Stop This From Repeating….
Make sure that you’re clear about your intentions from the start. Make your boundaries clear from the first time you meet him. If you’re looking for a relationship, say that, because even if it makes them run, it’ll save them the effort of trying to otherwise trick you.
Make sure you know what you want, and don’t settle for less. If all you want is some fun, then by all means, fall for their tricks on purpose. We don’t judge.
