Truths About Why Your Bad Dates Are Actually Good For You
If you've been in the dating world, chances are you've been on a bad date. You might have been on one monumentally bad one and the rest were "meh" or maybe you feel like lately, the only dates you've been on have just been terrible.
It's easy to get discouraged or start to feel like maybe you really are going to die alone because you can't have a successful date, but don't lose hope! While bad dates are tough, there's a lot of things that you can learn from them.
They Give You Good Stories
Every bad date you go on makes for a great story to tell your friends at the next girls' night or an entertaining anecdote to talk about on your next date. So even if it's a terrible date just focus on how it could launch your comedy career.
You Can Establish What You're Looking For
No matter how bad the date was, you can always find at least one quality in someone that you admire. You might have to think about it really hard after that last tech bro, but there's something you can appreciate in everyone, and it'll help you establish what you want in a partner.
And Exactly What You're Not Looking For
Obviously, if you're categorizing your latest date as "bad," there were some obvious things that went wrong. You might not have had good chemistry, or maybe they had a couple of qualities you realized you really don't want in a partner.
You'll Learn That There's More Than One Person For Everyone
You might think that a date went great and then they break it to you that they just didn't feel "it" so now you reflect on that date and cringe. The upside, though, is you learn that there is more than one person that you can picture dating.
You're Forced To Think Outside The Box
You're going to get tired of coffee dates or first date drinks and it's going to force you to try to come up with new ideas or experiences that will keep both of you interested.
You Can Practice Your Polite Rejection Skills
Going on a lot of bad dates means you have to learn to politely tell someone that you're not interested in going on a second one. Don't make ghosting your primary way of sending the message, actually learn how to politely say you don't see a future with them.
And You'll Learn To Handle Rejection Better
Rejection always feels personal, whether it's in a setting like on a dating app or it's in the workplace. The more rejection you face though, the better you're going to be at handling it.
You Might Make Some New Friends
Sometimes a "bad" date could simply be a date with someone that you don't feel a romantic connection with, but you might have a lot in common with the person still and decide to stay in touch or become friends.
You Won't Waste As Much Time On Future Dates
The more dates you go on, the more you'll be able to establish what you're looking for, and the sooner you'll be able to determine if someone isn't what you're looking for. You're not required to stay on a date for a certain amount of time, so if it's not working for you, you can leave.
You're Exposed To New Situations
Even if the date doesn't go well, they might take you to a new restaurant you never would've thought to go to or introduce you to a new band you wouldn't have ever listened to on your own!
You're Forced To Do Some Self-Reflection
Eventually, you're going to come to the conclusion that while all your dates have been bad lately, it's possible that maybe you're the problem. You're going to have to do a little self-reflection and think about what you're bringing to the table, and how you might be sabotaging yourself.
Bad Dates Force You To Look In Different Places
If you've been on a string of bad dates and you've met them all through Tinder, you're going to start switching up your methods. Try a different app, ask your friends if they have anyone you might get along with, talk to that guy who shows up at the gym at the same time as you every morning.
You'll Become More Open
The more people you meet and the more times you have to spend time talking about yourself, the less awkward it's going to be. You're going to care less about "opening up" to someone and feel less uncomfortable once you do it two or ten times.
You Can Take A Break At Literally Any Time
Nobody is forcing you to go on dates, so if you're finding that you're stuck in a rut of multiple bad dates in a row, you could just stop. Take a step back, take a breather, and reevaluate.
You'll Probably Lower Your Standards
And that's not a bad thing. While learning what you're looking for in a relationship, you're going to have to consider that maybe the reason you can't find your perfect man is because your expectations are far too high.
You'll Take Dating Less Seriously
We're not saying go into a date with the attitude that it's going to be bad, but going in knowing that this one might not be your future husband isn't a bad thing. You don't need to take every date so seriously.
You're Not Going To Die If You're Single For A Little Longer
Going on a bad date (or a few) will help to remind you that while it feels like all your friends are in happy relationships and you're tired of being single, you'd rather be single than be in a bad relationship with someone.
You'll Trust Your Instincts More
You don't need four hours of your life to determine whether or not you're interested in someone. Spend an hour with someone and you'll know if you want the date to continue, or if you want a second date. Listen to your instincts and go with it.
You'll Be Less Judgemental
While you're going to be able to adjust your own expectations and you'll get better at quickly figuring out if someone is what you're looking for, you'll also become less judgemental in general. You're looking more at the big picture and focussing less on the little nit-picky details.
There's Always Something To Learn From A Bad Date
You might have to spend weeks or months trying to see the positive after that horrendous date that had you wanting to fake a medical emergency, but there's at least one good thing to come out of every bad date.
