Have you recently gone through a bad breakup, or find that you’re constantly missing someone who doesn’t even deserve to be missed?
@imdatfeminist is urging people to stop focusing on what they’ve lost after a breakup. Instead, focus on what you’ve gained.
So, Who Is Imdatfeminist?
Halima Boutaleb is a 24-year-old behind the Twitter account @imdatfeminist, a unique, feminist-focused relationship advice account, which she was inspired to make after ending her own toxic on and off relationship.
Her account has 42.3k followers on Instagram and nearly 60,000 followers on Twitter, and her posts are incredibly popular, with each one getting thousands and thousands of likes.
Follow Her On Twitter & Instagram
Not only does she give out relationship and breakup advice, she also educates her followers on what an unhealthy relationship feels like.
Utilizing a different approach to getting over breakups, her goal is to help other people out there who might be struggling with a breakup, missing an ex, or who are currently their own toxic relationships.
You Just Have To Accept It
This can be so hard, but letting go of a relationship means accepting that it just wasn’t meant to be.
Think on the bright side — there are 7.9 billion people out there, and they’re just ONE of them.
Say It Louder For The People In The back
If your boo threatens to leave you after every minor fight or inconvenience, Halima claims that they’re not worth it.
The truth is, every couple fights, and healthy communication is key to every relationship.
You Don’t Need A Label
Even if you weren’t actually dating, the pain that they caused you is still real, and it still hurts.
Even if they weren’t your boyfriend or girlfriend they still hurt you, so don’t let it happen again.
It’s Okay To Be Picky
If you find that every person you’ve dated is a complete a-hole, then I hate to break it to you, but your standards may be too low.
Having standards for yourself is actually a good thing because then you won’t settle. But, you can’t just turn everyone away who doesn’t look like a supermodel.
Halima’s Spitting Straight Facts
I’ll know when I’ve met my future spouse when I finally meet someone who always treats me the way that I DESERVE to be treated.
People will show you that they care by treating you well all the time, not just when it’s convenient for them.
Seriously, Pass It On
Even if someone mistreated you in a relationship, it’s only human to still miss them or miss not feeling alone.
Nobody is able to perfectly bounce back after a relationship. If that was the case, heartbreak wouldn’t exist (which actually sounds pretty nice).
This One Hits Home
When I was in high school, I was with the same person for such a long time, and looking back, he treated me pretty poorly.
I had no idea what love was, and I was blinded by the excitement of my first partner. It happens.
Find Yourself A Respectable Adult
Nothing is hotter than someone who is ambitious and knows what they want in life.
Halima emphasizes that falling in love with a project, or someone that you hope to change, can lead to an unhappy relationship.
Find Someone Who Makes You Happy
If you find that you’re feeling sad more than you are happy in a relationship, that’s a serious RED FLAG.
Your partner should be building you up, not breaking you down every chance that they get.
Think First Before You Forgive Them
I feel like this one was seriously and aggressively TARGETED at me, but she’s so right.
Honestly, sometimes we try to forgive and forget in a relationship like it’s nothing, but trust is a super fragile thing.
Honestly, She’s Right
As humans, we crave attention and love. Sometimes, after a breakup, we confuse wanting attention and missing someone.
Instead of being tempted to accept someone back in your life, read a book or connect with an old friend! Sure, it’s easier said than done, but it may buy you some time.
You Are Lovable
Don’t let anyone take you or your love for granted, because it’s not something that we just throw around.
Hopefully you’re in a relationship because you feel a genuine connection to them. If they don’t feel the same way, but are making you feel unlovable, don’t let the feeling fester. Just walk away.
A New Perspective
No relationship is perfect, so if you’re going through a breakup, you could look at it from this light if things weren’t going well.
The feeling like something is slipping away is so horrible, so it can almost be freeing to reflect on how you’re no longer playing the waiting game.
She Acknowledges That There Are Good Days And Bad Days
There are good days, and there are bad days. That’s how healing works, especially when you’re dealing with the loss of someone in your life.
And hey, even your worst days only have 24 hours in them, and there’s always tomorrow.
There Is Hope
Breakups are tough, especially the first few days, weeks, and even months.
Even though you may really miss someone right now, and moving on may seem literally impossible, you WILL move on.
Questioning Their Character
When someone is mistreating you, their manipulation can sometimes make it feel like everything is all your fault.
You are valued and you are worthy! Drop that sorry excuse of a person and hook up with someone hotter, and more respectful.
Glass Half Full Approach
This is a great mindset to be in, and I think that everyone should at least try this approach when you cut ties with someone.
Moving on is hard, but it also brings new opportunities, including hooking up with new people!
Giving But Not Recieving
Some people just aren’t mentally ready to love another person, but this feeling really does suck.
If you’ve never been in this situation before, picture this: you give someone an amazing present that you spent DAYS picking out, just for them to throw it in the garbage and say they don’t want it.