Things You Shouldn’t Have To Worry About In A Relationship
Whether caused by insecurities, bad experiences, or red flags, there are certain things that you should never have to worry about in a relationship. Relationships can be difficult enough as it is, so you shouldn't have to pile more worries on. The worry itself may be what ruins the relationship if you let it get out of control.
That They Might Cheat On You
We so badly tend to want to be their "one and only," but insecurities get in the way and we start to wonder if they'll meet someone else and like them better.
Keep in mind that it's normal to be attracted to other people, what matters is not acting on it.
That The Relationship Might End Any Second Now
It's true that this is a risk, however, the sooner you accept it, the quicker you can embrace it. Even if it ends, you'll deal with it then. For now, cherish every moment, and remind your partner how much they mean to you.
Rather than look for reasons why it might end, give it reasons to keep on going.
How Your Relationship Looks To Others
We all want to seem like the perfect couple on Instagram. We can't help wanting to be envied as #couplegoals the same way we've envied others.
In reality, who cares what people think? Let them wonder. They're not the ones in the relationship, only you are.
That You're Being "Too Much"
No one gets to decide that you are too much for how much love you give and the kind of personality you have. They're free to decide that they feel overwhelmed, but that just means that they can't handle you.
This only means that you're not compatible, not that you need to tame yourself.
That It's Too Good To Be True
If something seems too good to be true but you can't think of a reason why, then why not just enjoy it? Stop doubting yourself and whether you're worthy of this relationship. You deserve to have something this good.
Again, if it turns out badly, it'll be a problem for them, and you'll have these happy memories still.
How Long It Takes For Them To Text You
It doesn't matter if you've been dating for a week or a year, the amount of time it takes them to text you back should not be your meter of how much they care about you. Life gets in the way and texting can get overwhelming.
As long as your time together in person shows their interest and effort, you'll survive without texting 24/7.
Having To Always Look Your Best
It makes sense to want to dress up for the first date and keep up a certain standard to make a good impression. However, the more you get to know each other, the more comfortable you should start to feel to be your bare self, in sweatpants and with your hair up.
If they don't like you as much just because you don't have makeup on, then thank you, next.
That You're Not Good Enough For Them
In RuPaul's famous words, "if you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" Once you know that you're good enough for yourself, you won't have any doubt about being good enough for someone else.
If you're having doubts, then it may be your own self-confidence that you need to work on.
That They're Not Good Enough For you
This one may actually be a problem. It's either that your standards are too high, or that you've noticed some red flags. Either way, you shouldn't stay with someone you don't think is good enough for you. It's not fair to you or to them.
If you can't see past it and weigh out their qualities, then this relationship may not be worth it.
The Time That You Spend Apart
It can be hard having to be away from the one you love. Yet, if you trust them, yourself, and your love for one another, then you should have nothing to worry about other than how much you miss them.
Don't cave into needing to stalk them and check in on them to always be in the known about what they're up to.
Going To Bed Angry
Despite what you've heard, it's actually okay to go to bed angry. In fact, often it's encouraged. In the heat of an argument, it's easy to get caught and say things you don't mean and that you'll later regret.
A good night's sleep will help you clear your mind and come back cool, calm, and collected to talk things through.
Not Being Intimate Often Enough
There is no limit or maximum requirement for how often you need to be intimate to be in a healthy relationship. Life gets in the way, and tiredness and stress can cause you to go weeks without.
As long as you're on the same page, don't hold it against each other or take it personally.
Getting Along With Each Other's Families
Getting along with each other's families should be a bonus, not a requirement. It definitely makes holidays easier, and the parents' approval matters. However, you need to also accept that the parents aren't the ones in the relationship.
Plus, more often than not, kids turn out very different from their families.
That They're Not Attracted To You Anymore
You can't help getting older, and it's completely normal for your weight to fluctuate. Don't let those extra few pounds or wrinkles be the source of worry. If they can't adapt to the changes, then they're not worthy of you.
They'll be going through the same changes too.
Who They Talk To (And Text)
You can be curious about who they're texting, but you can't demand that they always tell you. You're not their keeper, and they're free to form their own independent relationships apart from you.
If you ever have doubts, bring it up to them, rather than taking it into your own hands to find out.
That You Have Different Tastes And Hobbies
This should not be a worry, but rather a relief. It means that you can take time apart to practice your passions and still keep your independent style and taste.
Too often, couples meld into the same person and lose their autonomy. Stick with your hobbies so you don't lose yourself in the relationship.
That You Come From Different Backgrounds
You can't help where you come from. The experiences you go through growing up shape the adult that you become. If you like the person that they are today, then it shouldn't matter how they got there.
No one should have their past held against them no matter how dark it is. Use your different backgrounds to learn from one another and help each other grow.
That They'll Panic When It Gets Too Serious
It's okay to be scared of the future. It can be overwhelming to realize that the relationship you're now in could be the one you're in forever. Yet other than the certainty of the unknown, that same fact is also very exciting!
There's no rush getting to the next milestone so as long as you take your time and only go to the next step when you're both comfortable—then you'll be okay!
That You're Not At The Same Stage In Life
Although you shouldn't worry too much about this at the beginning, it can catch up to you. This one really depends on how willing you are to adapt to the stage they're in and what goals you have.
For example, if you want kids, are they ready for that? If you're able to wait for one another, then this shouldn't be a worry.
Your Worries Do Matter
Despite the title of this article, you shouldn't feel bad for having worries or concerns in a relationship. Rather than let them consume you, take them as warning signs that you need to tread carefully or make a change.
At the end of the day, you're entitled to the way you feel—it's what you do about it that makes the difference.
