The Highs And Lows Of Going Through A Breakup

There is no worse feeling than a broken heart. It feels like you're grieving, and you don't know how to be alone anymore. The first stages are full of pain, but on the bright side, it gets better.

Breakups are also an opportunity for a fresh start and a blank slate that is all about you and what you want. We are here to guide you through the worst and get you back to your best.

Having To Ignore Someone You Talked To Every Day

girl texting
Photo: Becca Tapert / Unsplash
Photo: Becca Tapert / Unsplash

It's hard to go from texting the same person about anything and everything every single night to not hearing from them at all.

This is the person you shared your entire life with, and who was your go-to. It takes time to be able to process that they're not your person anymore.

ADVERTISEMENT

Knowing that Someone Who Once Loved You Might Now Hate You

ADVERTISEMENT
naomi-august-aLnqDp3B3YU-unsplash (1)
Photo: Naomi August / Unsplash
Photo: Naomi August / Unsplash
ADVERTISEMENT

It is such a comforting feeling to be loved and cared for, so as soon as you realize that the person you trusted to love you no longer does, it can feel like your whole world is falling apart.

ADVERTISEMENT

Don't let this make you question your worth. Their reason for not wanting the relationship anymore has nothing to do with you not being worthy of love.

ADVERTISEMENT

Wondering If There's Something You Could've Done Differently

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
girl thinking
Photo: Ben White / Unsplash
Photo: Ben White / Unsplash
ADVERTISEMENT

It's easy to get caught up doing a play by play in your mind, trying to figure out the exact instance it went wrong, wonder why, and if there's anything you could've done to prevent it. You have to let go of guilt and accept the present moment rather than get caught up in the past.

ADVERTISEMENT

Missing The Little Things You Used To Do Together

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
couple walking
Photo: Vladimir Kudinov / Unsplash
Photo: Vladimir Kudinov / Unsplash
ADVERTISEMENT

Sometimes a song will come on that used to play while you cleaned the house together or driving to the grocery store, and it will trigger a bunch of memories making you miss that person intensely at that moment.

ADVERTISEMENT

Know that it's okay to hold on to the good memories. Those memories have shaped you, so it's okay to take the good from them.

ADVERTISEMENT

Realizing You Have To Open Yourself Up To Someone New

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
photography-of-couple-holding-hands-842546
Photo: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Photo: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
ADVERTISEMENT

It took a lot to get yourself to open up and be completely vulnerable with them. It took months to show them all parts of you and share the worst ones. It's so hard to imagine having to start that process all over again.

ADVERTISEMENT

Take comfort in knowing that when you are ready, it will happen naturally, and you will do it willingly.

ADVERTISEMENT

Running Into Each Other And Having To Act Like Strangers

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
woman shopping
Photo: Joshua Rawson-Harris / Unsplash
Photo: Joshua Rawson-Harris / Unsplash
ADVERTISEMENT

It's so weird how the person who used to hold you for hours is now on the same level as a stranger, to the point where you both don't even know how to be around each other anymore.

ADVERTISEMENT

This can make for very awkward encounters when you do meet. The best thing to do is to just say hi and bye and be civil.

ADVERTISEMENT

Seeing Them With Someone Else

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
couple in reflection
Photo: Joshua Rawson-Harris / Pexels
Photo: Joshua Rawson-Harris / Pexels
ADVERTISEMENT

Although this might not happen right away, the thought is on your mind. You're constantly wondering what they're doing without you and who they're with, which can be hard enough.

ADVERTISEMENT

However, the moment that you see them actually moving on can be quite painful. Just remember: if they can do it, you can do it too.

ADVERTISEMENT

Losing Your Sense Of Routine

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
woman looking at watch
Photo: Rainer Ridao / Unsplash
Photo: Rainer Ridao / Unsplash
ADVERTISEMENT

Once you lose the person you did everything with, it's normal to feel lost and not know how to do the everyday things anymore.

ADVERTISEMENT

It's all about starting a new routine that has you doing the things that YOU like YOUR way now, until that becomes habit and you adapt to it.

ADVERTISEMENT

Wiping Any Trace Of Them From Your Life

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
apple-applications-apps-cell-phone
Photo: Tracy Le Blanc / Pexels
Photo: Tracy Le Blanc / Pexels
ADVERTISEMENT

Sometimes, to numb the pain, "out of sight, out of mind" is the best strategy. So, you find yourself clearing the house of any items that belonged to them, deleting any pictures of the two of you together, and removing them from social media. By the end, it's like you never even met.

ADVERTISEMENT

Seeing Them Be Okay Without You

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
woman-open-arms-while-closed-eyes-smiling-photo-712413
Photo: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Photo: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
ADVERTISEMENT

Sometimes, the hardest part of a breakup is seeing your ex be okay without you, when you don't feel okay without them. You want them to be hurting like you are, you want them to care. But guess what? They're not okay either, they're just good at hiding it.

ADVERTISEMENT

You'll start to feel okay eventually. It'll be hard at first, but it'll get easier every day.

ADVERTISEMENT

Enjoying The Little Things, Like Having A Whole Bed To Yourself

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
man living his best life in bed
Photo: Alex Block / Unsplash
Photo: Alex Block / Unsplash
ADVERTISEMENT

No more sharing anything! Take the time to enjoy the little things like going to bed whenever you want, in a bed where you can spread out like an eagle and get all your beauty sleep. Eventually, all the little moments will add up. The more of them you find, the happier you'll feel.

ADVERTISEMENT

Having More Time To Get Fit

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
woman getting fit
Photo: Jonathan Borba / Unsplash
Photo: Jonathan Borba / Unsplash
ADVERTISEMENT

It's time to work on that revenge bod!

ADVERTISEMENT

Now that you have more time on your hands, why not use it productively? Trips to the gym will not only give you something to do and help you create a new sense of routine, but they will also release happy chemicals in your body and have you looking and feeling your best!

ADVERTISEMENT

Seeing Your Bank Account Dollars Increase

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
man getting rich
Photo: Allef Vinicius / Unsplash
Photo: Allef Vinicius / Unsplash
ADVERTISEMENT

No more taking turns buying dinner for two and spending money on dates. Now all your money is yours!

ADVERTISEMENT

You'll be amazed at how quickly your bank account grows while you're single. This is a great opportunity to save money and put it towards a trip. It will give you a goal to work toward and a trip to look forward to.

ADVERTISEMENT

Learning To Love Yourself Again

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
photo-of-woman-looking-at-the-mirror
Photo: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Photo: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
ADVERTISEMENT

It's normal to feel the need for validation from your ex after a breakup. A breakup can make you wonder if you weren't enough and shake your confidence. So, one of the best parts of a breakup is also learning to love yourself all over again.

ADVERTISEMENT

Get your hair done, change up your makeup, do some yoga and some journaling, and you'll find yourself falling in love with yourself and radiating!

ADVERTISEMENT

Not Having To Answer To Anyone

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
dancing carefree
Photo: Vonecia Carswell / Unsplash
Photo: Vonecia Carswell / Unsplash
ADVERTISEMENT

No one is there to check up on you. That means you can go enjoy your girls' night, stay up as long as you want, flirt with whoever you want, and dance your heart out until your heels break.

ADVERTISEMENT

Go have fun, go get crazy, do whatever makes you feel alive.

ADVERTISEMENT

Getting Back Out There

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
two-persons-holding-glass-flutes-while-drinking-
Photo: Natalie / Pexels
Photo: Natalie / Pexels
ADVERTISEMENT

Once you finally feel ready, it feels amazing to put yourself back out there and go back to the very first stages of dating where all someone wants to do is flatter and impress you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Let them remind you what it's like to have butterflies and get excited deciding what to wear for a first date. Dating again can be fun!

ADVERTISEMENT

Building A New Routine That's All About You

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
woman drinking coffee
Photo: Tirachard Kumtanom / Pexels
Photo: Tirachard Kumtanom / Pexels
ADVERTISEMENT

We said that one of the worst parts of a breakup is losing your routine with your ex, right? But building a new one is also the best part! You get to decide whatever you want to do! No more having to take into account their lifestyle, habits, and schedule, and if you want to leave dishes in the sink for a week now, that's okay too.

ADVERTISEMENT

Reconnecting With Friends And Family

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
happy friends
Photo: Priscilla du Preez / Unsplash
Photo: Priscilla du Preez / Unsplash
ADVERTISEMENT

Your friends and family will be your greatest support system during your healing phase, so don't be afraid to rely on them. You may have canceled plans a bunch of times in favor of your ex, or not had as much time to go visit your parents, so now is your chance to make up for lost time. Let them distract you and soak in their love.

ADVERTISEMENT

Realizing That You Found Out Sooner Rather Than Later

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
happy woman
Photo: Matthew Hamilton / Unsplash
Photo: Matthew Hamilton / Unsplash
ADVERTISEMENT

Well, you're not getting any younger. There is some peace in knowing that it happened now rather than later, when you were more invested, attached, and further in your life. There is never a good time to get heartbroken, but the earlier it happens the faster you will heal.

ADVERTISEMENT

Having The Right Lessons And Tools For The Next Person

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
happy couple
Photo: Candice Picard / Unsplash
Photo: Candice Picard / Unsplash
ADVERTISEMENT

The best part of a failed relationship is the lessons it taught. Like Kelly Clarkson said, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Every relationship teaches you about who you are and what you want from another person.

ADVERTISEMENT

Take those tools and make your next relationship the best it can be—when you're ready.