Look, no one signs up for Tinder thinking that it’s going to be a walk in the park. There are people in the world who have found their partners on Tinder, and while we don’t know any of them personally, it happened to a friend of a friend and that’s basically the same thing.
What none of us are ever really ready for is how much of a garbage dump it can be sometimes, messaging with guys on Tinder. Take a scroll through these fails from Tinder Nightmares and let them serve as a cautionary tale.
Thank You I Think?
I’m sure that there is something in there that is meant to be a compliment, but it is way too buried under the fact that this person tried to give it using giraffe beating as a metaphor.
Maybe Block David
I’m obviously not an expert in who to avoid given my dating record, but I would probably block David and make sure you never speak to him again for the sake of your feet at least.
You’ve Never Seen Pears…?
How have you never seen any pears in a grocery store before? They’re one of those fruits that are somehow mysteriously in season all the time even though there is no reason that’s possible.
That’s Certainly A New One
You have to love it when someone approaches you with a pickup line you’ve never heard before, but there is a line in the sand. Simon has crossed it and come back again and went back over the line a second time.
They Probably Do, Lucas
Whenever someone messages something like this, I always wonder what kind of response they’re hoping to get. Like, does he want to be invited to smell someone’s farts up close and personal?
Whatever Floats Your Boat
Listen, we aren’t here to judge. Whatever floats your boat is fine as long as everyone is consenting. But how is an avocado capable of being disobedient? That’s what I want to know.
Just Cutting Straight To The Point
If there is one nice thing that we can say to Evan, it’s that he’s direct and you don’t get that a lot in the modern dating world. You also don’t get a lot of people asking you for money, but here we are.
We All Want To Know, Matthew
A lot of us spend a lot of time wondering what it would be like to be something or someone else, but we are stuck with the lives and bodies that we have.
Good For You Wally
The obvious answer to this question is asking what it was that Wally ended up doing with all those beans. I might also ask how he ended up with the name Wally.
Gee, Thanks Gordon
Gordon has that special way with the ladies where he thinks if he makes them feel bad about themselves they’re going to want his approval. That’s only going to work short-term Gordon! We’ll get sick of it.
That’s A Loaded Question
It’s hard to answer this question because you’re probably going to expose some pretty vulnerable parts of yourself. Do I get blackout drunk “on occasion”? Yeah, I do, but I don’t want to talk about it.
They’re Both Guilty Here
I know that we want to think that Dalton is being a total weirdo, and he is. But we have to keep in mind that they’re both guilty parties because they matched with each other.
That Depends On Where We Go
If you ever meet someone who says that they haven’t thought about sending pictures of their feet for money then they would be lying because we have all been there.
At The Same Time?
It actually might not be a bad time to have your haircut for free and have a movie quote showdown at the same time. You wouldn’t have any awkward small talk.
That’s A Rude Question
Of all the things that you could ask someone first, maybe asking them how much they weigh is not the best thing to lead with. If you have to ask, you’re probably not going to like the answer.
What Did We Just Read?
Every once in a while you’re going to get a message that is going to make you question if you’re living in the current reality or if you’ve been transplanted to somewhere called crazy land.
Did He Think That Was Going To Work?
At least she is being honest about what this is going to be for her. He really should have thought twice about sending a message like that if he wanted a genuine response.
Lets Hope He Gets The Point
If you can’t even be bothered to use words to ask a girl to hook up with you, then you don’t even really deserve a response. She was being generous, really.
Who Else Is Singing Chingy?
I would really love to know if that has ever worked for him, because honestly, it’s so cheesy and no one who has any sense is going to go to a Holiday Inn at 2 am.
This Is A Tough Question
Now he’s really setting us up for failure here because there is no right way to answer this question, is there? Unless he would accept a simple neither, thank you very much.