Spending time with our significant others is important, but so is spending time with our other loved ones, such as close friends. No matter how serious a relationship becomes, we never want to lose those friendships.
The importance of a “girls’ night in” has recently divided one couple, and now the girlfriend has taken to Reddit to see if she’s being self-centered or if her boyfriend is actually the controlling one.
Saturdays Are For The Boys
As important as the connection of any couple in a romantic relationship is, it’s also just as important that they maintain strong bonds with their close friends. From going out clubbing to enjoying a beer and watching football, every friend group has its favorite way of relaxing.
You’ve heard the saying “Saturdays are for the boys,” so it stands to reason that girls would get their own day with their friends, right?
The Reddit Post
User S-Ad3531 took to Reddit’s Am I The A-hole subreddit to get clarity on an argument she had with her boyfriend regarding her wanting a girls’ night in with her close friends.
She begins the post by saying that she’s been dating a 27-year-old man now for a few months, and loves his “sweet and funny and creative” demeanor. The couple doesn’t live together, but they do meet up at her place every weekend.
Friday Night Plans
The boyfriend recently called her and asked what she wanted to do Friday night. She said that she actually wanted to have a girls’ night in (or GNI) at her place with her friends since it was her turn to host the event.
Confused, her boyfriend asks what a GNI was and she explains it to him. Afterward, however, she says that he “got quiet then asked if I was being [serious].”
A Misogynistic Event?
The boyfriend then launches into a tirade claiming how GNIs are “outdated” social events which she should stop promoting because they’re “toxic” and reek of “misogyny.” Shocked, the girlfriend says that he was just stating his honest opinion, and he then suggested they do something together instead, but she refused.
“He threw a fit after he suggested bringing his guy friends to join us and I refused since this is not how GNIs work!”
The Tirade Continues
“He called me a sexist and misogynistic for having a girls’ night in and making it so obvious instead of being ashamed of myself. He said that my mentality will cause me issues in the future especially if I behave like that in a professional work setting,” she explains.
Refusing to back down and only wanting to spend time with her close friends, she says he hung up on her after she said she would never stop attending GNIs.
Am I The A-hole?
The girlfriend later calls to apologize, but the boyfriend tells her he is hurt and “needs time to process what he just found out about my personality.” While she is hurt by her boyfriend’s response, she also doesn’t want to “risk years of friendships by no longer being part of our bonding activities.”
She then asks Reddit, “[Am I the a-hole] for refusing to stop having girls’ night-ins just because my boyfriend thinks it’s wrong?”
Girls’ Nights Are Sexist But Boys’ Nights Aren’t?
Reddit voted and overwhelmingly found that the girlfriend was not the a-hole, but her boyfriend was. Many accused him of being hypocritical, asking how it’s acceptable for men to hang out, but women doing the same thing is misandrist. Others added that nights out with friends are healthy and fun.
“This guy is SUCH A MASSIVE SEXIST that he can’t imagine women have anything to discuss besides men. He may say he understands but this is some red pill [BS] to disbelieve that women can have ROBUST LIVES outside the existence of men.”
Other users pointed out the boyfriend’s controlling behavior is a giant red flag, saying that not only is him knowing her social media account passwords problematic but so is his attempt to isolate her from her friends.
“You can hang out with whoever you want to. The fact that you are second-guessing yourself for his horrendous behavior shows that his manipulation tactics started working. Run away. This guy is trash. His argument has no logic.”