People break up for the pettiest reasons. In their defense, a bunch of smaller and bigger things that add up until that last straw.
You’d think being bound by a contract would make couples reconsider their reasons, but that still didn’t stop one couple from divorcing when the husband saw his wife without makeup for the first time.
Plants Are Love. Plants Are Life
“They got married and were getting ready to go on the honeymoon when the new husband tells her he’s not going because he has to take care of his plants at the house. Big fight. Aunt goes on the honeymoon with her sisters instead.” —Reddit / [deleted]
If he loved his plants so much, why didn’t he just marry them instead?
Mother Knows Best…Or Does She?
“I’ve had a lot of younger male potential clients come in for divorce consults with their mother. Then, during the consult, the mother does 98% of the talking, and it’s clear who actually wants the divorce.” —Reddit / Elle_Woods
This why they say in-laws can be a real nightmare. If the son is a full-grown adult, he’s more than capable of making his own decisions.
Pets Before Spouses
“A couple got divorced over a cat. The wife called the cat Snowball because of its white fur and only wanted the cat to eat wet food or chicken breast. The husband called the cat Lily, again because of her white fur, and believed it should only eat dry food. ” —Reddit / sxcamaro
This poor cat likely had an identity complex and had no idea what its name even was by the end.
How To Get More Attention Than The Car
“My aunt had a case where the wife had glued all of the outdoor hoses together so he wouldn’t spend more time washing his vehicle anymore. When the glue didn’t work, she just cut them all up. When he bought new ones she filed for divorce.” —Reddit / amazinglymorgan
Please do not try this at home. At least she was only hurting the water hose and not the actual car.
Gaming Is A Real Addiction
“I had a friend whose parents divorced for irreconcilable differences over time spent playing Everquest. ” —Reddit / deleted
For those who don’t know, EverQuest is a 3D fantasy-themed multiplayer online role-playing game. That’s not the issue, though. Gaming can be an addiction just as harmful as drinking, and it can ruin a marriage.
Can You Grow Chest Hair As An Adult?
“My dad was a divorce lawyer. He had a client who wanted to divorce her husband for 2 reasons: He did not have enough hair on his chest. And, he did not drive fast enough.” —Reddit / Bodhi_ZA
The real question is, did she not know how must chest hair he had before marrying him? Keep in mind that this was in the ’70s when chest hair was more of a factor.
Craving The Darkness
“He divorced his wife of two months because she would sleep with a nightlight, but he could only sleep in total darkness, as they apparently never lived together until after getting married.” —Reddit / yeerk_slayer
Yes, it turns out sleeping habits can truly make or break relationships. If you’re not rested, you’ll always be in a bad mood.
It Was A Very Short-Lived Love Story
“He had an argument with the new in-laws during the wedding and moved out at around 5 a.m. during the first night.” —Reddit / apolloxer
If you didn’t think anyone could beat Kim Kardashian’s wedding longevity, guess again!
She Had Unmet Standards
“This lady divorced her husband of two months because he got her an iPad case for her birthday instead of the expensive jewelry she wanted.” —Reddit / salamanderlemons
You know what? At least she stuck to her standards. Who knows which other ones he wasn’t meeting.
The Odd Man Out
“Friend of mine divorced his then-wife because she would only speak French when her family would come over. Her family basically talked about him whilst he was there. It was only when he recorded a conversation whilst they were there and got it translated that he found out what was going on.” —Reddit / StanMarsh01
A language barrier creates a bit of sexy mystery until it doesn’t.
Bingo Is More Fun Than It Looks
“A man and divorced his wife for her Bingo Addiction. 10 to 12 times per week she went to bingo. She was 82 he was 86.” —Reddit / DRAGONPUTZ
I’m not sure why bingo is often associated with the elderly. It’s quite fun and there’s a reason it can become addictive. In her case, though, it sounds like she just wanted to get away from him as often as possible.
The Dog Only Needs So Much Food
“A married couple of two years broke it off because the husband would not stop feeding the dog. The dog got outrageously fat. Apparently, she saw a connection between the dog and future children.” —Reddit / Bing-Wallace
It’s so hard to resist giving an adorable dog everything he wants, but it’s our job as its parents to do what’s best for its health, rather than to cave in the moment. So she’s not necessarily wrong to draw that connection.
We All Make Dumb Decisions At 19, But This One…
“She got married when she was 19 so she could drink at the bar (in Wisconsin, you can drink underage with a parent or a spouse). Then when she turned 21, she got a divorce since she was legal to drink w/o him.” —Reddit / itslooseseal
The best part of this story is that the biggest item they fought over was the garage beer refrigerator. I wonder who got it!
Imagine Her Disappointment
“The Magistrate I used to work with got a petition for divorce and the reason the wife gave was ‘He should have been more forthcoming about his shortcomings in the bedroom.'” —Reddit / AudioBugg
At least one of them was honest in their descriptions.
Table Manners Can Be Learned
“She was a loud chewer at the dinner table. He developed a complex & literally needed out as he couldn’t bear to eat with her.” —Reddit / [deleted]
This is quite sad. However, complexes like this can be treated and table manners are teachable.
Fake It Till You Make It
“He divorced his wife over her cooking. Apparently, every day, he would come home to amazing cooked meals. One day he found out she ordering food from different restaurants.
“She even went as far as dirtying pots and pans to make it look like she cooked all day. She got away with this for almost a year before he caught on.” —Reddit / Kratsas
Taking “Cat Lady” To A New Level
“Girlfriend wanted a cat even though it was against rules in that building, my friend caved and they got one.
“Then she brought another one home without asking what he thought about it. When it was all said and done, they had 12 cats in a 2 bedroom house, and she didn’t think it was a problem even though it drove him out of his mind.” —Reddit / Badger_Storm
I’m even more concerned about the cost of feeding that many cats…
Makeup Doesn’t Create A New Identity
“A dude was married for about 20 years. The wife would get up each morning before he was awake and do her makeup. He’d go to work and all was well.
“One day, she decides to meet him for lunch without makeup… he’d never in his life seen her without makeup. He walked in, couldn’t find her, she was devastated, divorced him because he couldn’t recognize his own wife.” —Reddit / waltsnider1
Makeup makes some difference, but not to that extent…
A Love Reborn Each Time
“They divorced and remarried several times. Apparently, they just got divorced every time they had a big fight.” —Reddit / Kersepolis
Who knows, maybe they just loved a good party? They say the beginning of a relationship is always the best part, so they might have wanted to keep reliving it.
Fifty Shades Of Issues
“A woman divorced her husband because he refused to treat her like Christian treats Ana in Fifty Shades of Grey. I am not kidding.” —Reddit / MysteryGirlWhite
To each their own. Some people like a little special something in the bedroom, and they have every right to it.