Even When It’s Over, These Are The Ways That A Toxic Ex Might Lash Out

Figuring out that you’re in a toxic relationship and finding a way to escape it is one hell of a battle, so you would think that it would all be uphill once you’re out of it. Unfortunately, that’s not always true.

The sad reality is that toxic exes tend to find ways to keep damaging your life even after the breakup, and these are some of the common ways they will do it.

They’ll Keep Finding Ways To Be Around You

outdoor party full of people
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Samantha Gades
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Samantha Gades

You will break things off with them, but that doesn’t mean that you will stop seeing them around. A toxic ex will start showing up to all of the places you like to go. They’ll find a reason to come to any gathering hosted by mutual friends. They will be in your DMs and commenting on the things that you post.

What You Should Do:

two women pouring drinks together and laughing
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Misunderstood Whiskey
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Misunderstood Whiskey

A toxic ex will make it inevitable that you will see them again, so instead of avoiding all the places you love or social gatherings, try going with a close friend who can act as a buffer between you and the ex.

Additionally, mentally preparing yourself with some ways to shut them down prior to any potential encounters can help you avoid getting sucked into whatever they start saying to you.

They’ll Guilt You Into Interacting With Them Again

man sitting in dark looking down at phone
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Adrian Swancar
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Adrian Swancar

It goes something like this: you get a series of calls or texts from this ex who says that they need your help or support. Even if you don’t want to talk to this person again, they will say that they need to see you for closure or that, since you were such a strong support for them while you were together, they don’t have anyone else to go to.

What You Should Do:

woman looking down at her phone
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Daria Nepriakhina
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Daria Nepriakhina

When a person reaches out to you like this, it might seem like they genuinely just want a little help. However, a toxic person is really just using these excuses to tug on your heartstrings and bait you into talking to them again.

If a toxic ex asks for a closure conversation, politely decline and say you don’t think it’s a good idea. If they’re threatening to harm themselves or are claiming to be in crisis, try reaching out to one of their close friends to alert them to the situation instead.

They’ll Try To Make You Jealous With New Arm Candy

couple cuddling together on park bench
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Djim Loic
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Djim Loic

A toxic person will go out of their way to look like they are “winning” a breakup, which might include getting a new boo really quickly after your breakup to rub their “happiness” in your face. This is especially true for how they’ll post on social media. They specifically do it to make you feel worse about yourself—they want to make you feel insignificant or like you’re easily replaceable.

What You Should Do:

woman scrolling through instagram feed
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Kate Torline
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Kate Torline

Even if you know that your ex was toxic and not the greatest person, it’s still really hard to see a constant onslaught of photos of your ex and their new significant other. Honestly, the healthiest thing you can do might be to simply block your ex on social media. They can’t hurt you with images that you can’t even see.

They’ll Run A Smear Campaign On You

man yelling into a megaphone
Photo Credit: Pexels / Sora Shimazaki
Photo Credit: Pexels / Sora Shimazaki

When a toxic person is unable to control you anymore, they will try to control how other people see you. Following your breakup, a toxic ex will go out of their way to say demeaning things (some might be private insecurities you shared with them and some might just be flat-out lies) about you to your mutual friends and acquaintances.

What You Should Do:

woman standing with her eyes closed and head tilted up
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Brooke Cagle
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Brooke Cagle

It is much easier said than done, but the best thing you can do is continue to be the bigger person and not engage with your ex. Part of the reason a toxic ex will talk trash about you to others is that they’re hoping to eventually get a reaction out of you.

As hard as it is, stay above it all and be patient. The truth always comes out in the end.

They Try To Say That They’ve Changed

man and woman sitting and talking on outdoor bench
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Yolanda Sun
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Yolanda Sun

It’s the most classic phrase that any toxic person will say. Just when you are starting to do better, they will try to weasel their way back into your life with promises that they’re ready to treat you better and that they have really changed.

They’ll seem sincere in their promises, and you might even be tempted to take them back.

What You Should Do:

woman standing in front of rising sun in sunflower field
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Rowan Chestnut
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Rowan Chestnut

Don’t fall for it! Just think: how many times did this person promise to be more kind, caring, attentive, and considerate of your needs while you were still in a relationship? How many times did they actually do it?

Toxic people will always promise to be better or improve for a while before going back to treating you like garbage. As alluring as their words seem, they aren’t true. You’re better off leaving them behind and moving on.