The Stories Of Women Who Gave “Nice Guys” A Chance But They Weren’t Nice After All

We wish we could give you the formula to be able to differentiate between actual nice guys and pretend nice guys. A good rule of thumb is if he has to keep telling you he’s nice, chances are he’s lying either to you or to himself.

Actions speak louder than words. Make sure you pay for the signs early on, so you don’t end up like these people who bravely shared their stories.

The Fine Line Between Care And Co-dependency

“He was so kind, polite, just an all-around amazing guy – I loved him but I just never fell in love with him.

man kisses woman on the forehead in a field
Photo Credit: Allef Vincius / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Allef Vincius / Unsplash

Everything he did revolved around wanting to ‘take care’ of me. He just wanted to do everything for me so that I didn’t have to. It really made me feel like I couldn’t be my own person or my own success story and that could never be if we stayed together.” — Reddit / jukesy

A Serial Proposer

“He proposed to me after we worked on a group project. When I turned down this guy I barely knew and definitely never dated he stalked and harassed me for about half a year until he found his next ‘true love’. He was a serial proposer.” — Reddit / a-little-sleepy

man proposes to woman in staircase
Photo Credit: Caleb Oquendo / Pexels
Photo Credit: Caleb Oquendo / Pexels

The confusing part is why not simply ask them out first instead of full-on proposing? At least then you’re not bound by law.

A Three Page Love Letter Upon Rejection

“I told him I wasn’t interested after a few dates. He then pushed to know why until I was so frustrated that I just told him every little thing I disliked or wasn’t into about him.

pen and paper for letter beside flowers
Photo Credit: Debby Hudson / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Debby Hudson / Unsplash

He took it all in like research and then wrote me a three-page letter explaining how much he was into me and how he knew we could get past those things.” — Reddit / ScoutAames

What Actually Happens Behind Closed Doors

The “nice” or “shy” guy identity often ends up being a facade. “Behind closed doors was a very insecure person. He took it out on everyone else.

man and woman at the door waving
Photo Credit: Kindel Media / Pexels
Photo Credit: Kindel Media / Pexels

Even after trying to work on it for months and always reassuring him, he ended up cheating on me several times and then hid behind the nice guy victim thing. ” — Reddit / polariskai

“Accidentally” Blocked, Repeatedly

“He was the personification of a Southern Gentleman with an adorable “I can’t technology” quirk. He managed to ‘accidentally’ block me for months at a time, repeatedly, on phones that didn’t have a blocking capability. He wouldn’t tell me where he lived after almost a year. He didn’t even want me to go to his city for a night out. ‘It’s the man’s job to come to the lady.'” – Reddit

woman texting in bed
Photo Credit: Mathilde Langevin / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Mathilde Langevin / Unsplash

It sounds like she was the side chick and he was keeping her at arm’s length.

The Never Ending Rejection

“He lived in a different city so he said he’ll book a hotel and come through. He says I can have the bed and he’ll be a gentleman and have the sofa…I explained that he seems to have the wrong idea, I’m not going to a hotel with him and I feel uncomfortable, I don’t want to meet.

man in hotel bed eating fruit
Photo Credit: Alex Block / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Alex Block / Unsplash

He uses my phone number to add my snap chat and says he can see what street I’m on. I had to block him three times.” — Reddit / tartankaboosemoose

“Nice” Is Actually Code For Insecure

“He was always nice to me but very easily jealous anytime another guy spoke to me. He felt like he needed to make me feel bad whenever other guys gave me a little attention.

man sitting at diner looking out
Photo Credit: Austin Distel / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Austin Distel / Unsplash

He also had a horrible drinking problem and serious anger issues. And the whole time he was trying to woo me, he was also hooking up with his ex and ended up getting her pregnant.” — Reddit / lyn90

A Police Report Shouldn’t Be Required

“I ended up filing a police report and moving apartments because he didn’t take it well when I broke up with him. He spent hours outside my apartment demanding an explanation because he just couldn’t understand that I didn’t want to be with him anymore. ” — Reddit / jl370

woman looking out the window while holding her head
Photo Credit: Durong Nhan / Pexels
Photo Credit: Durong Nhan / Pexels

It sounds like what all these “nice” guys have in common, is that they simply can’t accept rejection.

The Confidence To Cheat

“He seemed a bit shy but goofy, smart, and genuinely kind when he approached me, so I agreed to go out and we hit it off at first. One day he was on Tinder in bed next to me and when called on it, he said that dating me had made him realize that he needed more confidence and experience with women and thus needed to date a lot more different people.” — Reddit / caffeineawarnessclub

woman looks at man in bed while on their
Photo Credit: Cotton Bro / Pexels
Photo Credit: Cotton Bro / Pexels

We’re pretty sure that’s not how confidence work. Might as well be single.

A Disguised Manipulator

“He was manipulative, controlling, and demanding. He’d make angry comments like ‘I’m just trying to be romantic and you keep freaking out.’ He still insisted that he was the nicest guy I’d ever meet.” — Reddit / Grawgar

man looks in shattered mirror at his reflection
Photo Credit: Fares Hamouche / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Fares Hamouche / Unsplash

These guys don’t understand that it’s not enough to just say you’re nice, you need to actually back it up in the way you treat your ladies.

Cheated One Month Before The Wedding

“Got another girl pregnant, a month before our wedding. But ‘he’s such a nice guy’.” — Reddit / Lisags23

bride and groom pose for photo
Photo Credit: Blake Cheek / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Blake Cheek / Unsplash

The silver lining is at least it happened before she was stuck in a legal marriage. We bet the woman he got pregnant was also convinced that he was “nice.”

Being Controlling Is Not “Nice”

“Dated the ‘nice guy’ of my friend group because he was really interested in me and all my friends wanted me to give him a chance. I endured 6 months of him requesting my location at all times and showing up unannounced and uninvited when I was on nights out. He claimed his behavior was because he ‘had never dated someone as pretty as me’. Never again.” — Reddit / therainandclouds

woman puts her hand up to say
Photo Credit: Anete Lusina / Pexels
Photo Credit: Anete Lusina / Pexels

He was right about her being out of his league, but not for being too pretty, rather for being confident in her self-esteem.

A Simple Thank You Would Have Sufficed

“We fell in love and got married. I did everything for him, cooked, cleaned, nursed him after major surgery, and made him packed lunches. In return he’d remind me how lucky I was he wasn’t one of those terrible guys who went out drinking all the time and that I was so lucky to have such a nice guy.

woman spreading the sheets while cleaning
Photo Credit” Volha Flaxeco / Unsplash
Photo Credit” Volha Flaxeco / Unsplash

He left me for a friend of mine and screwed me over financially by taking the bulk of our savings.” — Reddit / Still-Waters-ASMR

Hit On For The First Time

“He went out bowling with his friends and then when he came home he complained to me that for the first time in his life a hot girl had hit on him while he was out, and he was unlucky enough to actually have a girlfriend. He seemed genuinely sad he had to turn her down and expected me to be grateful he did it. — Reddit

woman grabbing bowling ball while bending
Photo Credit: Caleb Holden / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Caleb Holden / Unsplash

At that point, she should have warned him not to have the door hit on the way out.

Sometimes Even Actual Nice Guys, Lose Their Way

“I was with a nice guy once. He was absolutely incredible. But, he had clinical depression. Unfortunately, it got the best of him one day and he just ghosted. I haven’t heard from him since.” — Reddit / Devon620

man holds his hair up by the water
Photo Credit: Nathan Cowley / Pexels
Photo Credit: Nathan Cowley / Pexels

Just because a guy is nice, it doesn’t mean he’s perfect. Let the lesson be that people aren’t either nice or not. We all have our own issues to deal with.

In Conclusion, “Nice Guys” Is Nothing More Than A Label

“All the guys I have known or dated that felt it necessary to label themselves ‘nice guys’ turned out to absolutely awful humans. Either they had a bad temper, horrible morals, or just didn’t want to take ‘no’ for an answer.

Photo Credit: Gio Bartlett / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Gio Bartlett / Unsplash

The actual nicest guys I’ve dated were the ones who didn’t feel the need to label themselves ‘nice guys’. In fact, the best of them usually warned me that they were not all that nice, but always turned out to be the sweetest.” — Reddit / missunderstood80