You can delete your ex’s number, block them on social media, avoid them at all costs. Regardless of how hard you try to leave them behind, it can all come crashing down the moment they send you a stupid-a** text out of the blue.
The dreaded “text from your ex” has become so universal that entire social media accounts are dedicated to exposing and sharing the best and worst text messages people have received from their ex-partners. We rounded up the best texts to inspire your next witty comeback when DoNotAnswer sends you a message.
“When My Ex Texts Me I Send Him Fun Little Tests”
This person shared a screenshot of their conversation with an ex. The caption said: “When my ex texts me I send him fun little tests.”
When a toxic ex “misses you so badly,” put ’em in their place.
“Did You Go To Jail Yet?”
This guy has his priorities in order. As soon as he got out of jail, he went looking for his ex.
A casual “Haha yeah I just got out” doesn’t exactly explain how he got out, does it? People do love a hot convict.
“I Got Married Two Weeks Ago”
For some relentless exes, even a new marriage isn’t enough to deter them from pursuing their former love. This person reached out two weeks after their ex got married.
Instead of being sincere, they said, “So it’s pretty serious I guess. Congrats!”
“Water Sign Men Give Me Migraines”
There is a lot to unpack here. Especially since @clickholebot further explained that they only went on a few dates and ghosted each other.
She decieded a fair punishment was to lie and tell him a perfume with “a top-shelf price tag,” with “a bottom-barrel” scent.
A Picture Response Is Worth A Thousand Words
When someone texted their ex apologizing and saying “I love you,” they probably were not expecting the creepy thumbs-down photo of Ronald McDonald that was sent back.
Sometimes words are not good enough to describe how we feel and you just need an emotionally confused clown to do it for you.
“Not You Again”
The first clue about this couple’s (past) relationship is the fact someone’s name is saved in the phone as “Ew.”
Instead of ghosting their ex, this person made their feelings well-known by saying, “Oh f*** not you again.” Hint taken.
“Please Don’t Talk To Me Again” (Or Not)
This person managed to make it almost an entire year before they reached out to their ex. It seems like they deleted their last sent message asking not to be contacted again.
Lucky for their ex, they still had the convo saved and the irony is palpable.
I’m Busy For The Rest Of My Life
Nothing says “I’m not interested” like telling someone you are busy for the rest of your life.
Honestly, we get the vibe that whoever reached out should have seen this one coming.
Leave My City
The “hey I’m in ur city” text might as well say what it means, which is: “hey let’s hook up.”
The easiest response to shut that down? “Ok well leave.”
“Who Is This?”
This ex didn’t take the first hint when their message was ignored, so they sent another (much creepier) text a few days later.
A simple “Who is this?” response seems to have done the trick to get them to buzz off.
“i ReAlLy Am S0RrY”
When words are not enough, there are memes and gifs. Somebody’s “I really am sorry” text made their ex roll their eyes into the back of their head.
They cleverly responded with the perfect meme reaction to leave no room for misunderstanding.
“It’s Your Girlfriend’s Birthday. What Are You Doing?”
You know it’s bad when you’re texting your ex on your current girlfriend’s birthday.
Even worse, the ex-girlfriend who got the text totally called this guy out on his shady behavior.
“Hey, I Get Married Next Weekend So Probably Shouldn’t Keep Reaching Out”
A random “Hey what’s up?” text always means something more than it says.
Clearly this bride- or groom-to-be was making no apologies when they told their ex it was time to let it go and stop reaching out. An Elsa gif would have worked so well here.
Sooo I’m Guessing The Sky Is Blue?
This is an example of what happens when someone asks their ex a question that has an obvious answer, a perfectly sassy, sarcastic response.
Clearly, this ex did not know how to take a hint (or three).
“Not Today, Satan”
This post shared to Reddit shows an ex trying to slide back into the DMs.
They were shut down fairly quickly with a savage response. The ex continues with an apology which just adds another strike against this dude.
“We Both Know I’m Better Than A Booty Call”
Any text that comes in after 1 a.m. and contains less than three letters cannot lead to anything good.
Fortunately, this ex seems to know their worth and didn’t answer for hours before shutting it down completely.
Taylor Swift, Always Right
Some people just want to communicate in songs. Why use your words when you can let the brilliant minds of singer/songwriters do it for you?
When this sappy ex sent a country song to express his feelings, his ex knew exactly what song to send back: we are never ever ever getting back together.
Somebody That I Used To Know —Gotye And This Person
Some people use humor to deal with uncomfortable situations; this ex saw their opportunity to make a ridiculous joke and was not about to let the moment get away.
“Somebody That I Used To Know” fits perfectly beneath the melancholy lyrics texted to this ex.
NO Ex Repellent—Available Everywhere In Your Dreams While Supplies Last
If only there was such a thing as “Ex Repellent” in real life.
A “Hi stranger!! How’s it going text?” was met with the exact response it deserved: a great big “NOPE.”
You Can’t Take Back A Happy Birthday
This bitter ex definitely did not actually care whether this person had a happy birthday, but when the conversation starter failed, they pouted by sending another message.
Everybody knows you can’t take back a happy birthday. Come on, dude.
Happy National Ex Day
When “NO” sends you a message, you know it’s gonna be bad. But this one is truly a rollercoaster of emotions.
The texter goes from funny to cocky to weirdly sad and regretful within four single messages. The only logical response is the word “bruh” with an eye-rolling emoji. Bullet dodged.