Moving in with a partner can be an extremely exciting time, but it also brings a new set of challenges that can take a toll on a relationship.
Sometimes, it takes compromise and communication when you’d rather pull your hair out in frustration. An anonymous man online decided to share his story about moving in with his girlfriend—and *spoiler alert* it doesn’t have a great ending.
A Redditor Says They Were Upset When Their Girlfriend Nearly Started A Kitchen Fire
A man took to Reddit to ask the popular r/AmITheAsshole sub whether he was in the wrong for “getting upset” when his girlfriend “nearly started a kitchen fire.”
He starts by offering some background context that he’s a 30-year-old man living with his 25-year-old girlfriend, and specifies that he’s the homeowner.
The Couple Had Been Dating For Eight Months And Recently Moved In Together
The couple had been dating for about eight months when they decided to try living together.
He explains how he had been living with his girlfriend for about two months when the incident happened. He added, “We both work full-time and she’s also in grad school.”
He Says She Fell Asleep While Making Soup One Day
The original poster (OP) goes on to call his girlfriend “extremely scatterbrained, absent-minded, and messy.”
He then explains how the incident unfolded: “She was cooking soup on the stove and apparently went in the other room to do homework, and at some point, she fell asleep on the sofa.”
The Man Was Infuriated To Find The Smoking Soup Pot
By the time OP made it home, “Most of the water had boiled off the soup and it had started smoking.”
He immediately became infuriated and started yelling at his sleeping girlfriend.
He Is Passionate About The Risk And Danger Of Local Fires
He says the reason he was so angry is “because we live in an area that has forest fires, I almost lost the house I grew up in because of a forest fire, and it could potentially cause devastation.”
While his reasons are sound, his reaction was a bit disproportionate.
The Enraged Man Yelled At Her And Did Not Accept Her Apology
He says: “I yelled at her until she woke up. I said ‘what the [expletive] do you think you are doing?’ She said she didn’t mean to fall asleep and I said, ‘You almost burn my house down and you think ‘I didn’t mean to’ is an okay excuse?'”
When his girlfriend apologized, he angrily told her that wasn’t enough.
He Set Rules For Her To Use The Kitchen And Said She Acted Like A Child
He told his girlfriend that if she wanted to use his kitchen then “she’s not allowed to leave the room while there is a flame going on the stove.”
Understandably, she replied that she didn’t appreciate being spoken to like a child, but her boyfriend didn’t back down and said “act like a child, get treated like one.”
She Cleaned The Mess And Calmly Left The House
Apparently, that was the last straw for her. She tended to the mess in the kitchen and then left. OP even felt “glad” she had left because he was “still pretty angry” and thought they both needed time to cool down.
What he didn’t know was that was the last time he would see her.
She Stopped Answering Calls And Texts
She went radio silent on him and stopped returning calls and messages. Worried, he contacted her friends and family which was enough to make her reach out.
She told him she was okay but didn’t want him contacting her family. Fair enough.
He Came Home From Work And All Of Her Things Were Gone
OP went to work the next day and returned home to find that “all of her things were gone.”
He said he tried to contact her but found he was blocked on every single form of communication. He reveals: “I haven’t heard from her since then and it was several weeks ago.”
He Wants To Know If Her Reaction Was Justified
The post finished with OP wondering whether he was so much of “an a**hole to justify that kind of brutal reaction.”
His last thought on the matter is: “I think anyone who had their house almost burned down would be upset.”
People Online Did Not Hold Back
Unfortunately for OP, people online did not agree with him and didn’t hesitate to let him know that he was in fact in the wrong. (YTA = you’re the a**hole.)
One Redditor pointed out a few important points including that OP’s girlfriend didn’t appreciate being berated, mistakes happen, and her safety should have been the paramount concern.
He Showed His True Personality And She Listened
Redditor Jameson8016 praised the girlfriend for displaying “intelligence and confidence.”
They said: “OP told [his girlfriend] exactly who he was and she listened. She didn’t stay for a week to let things cool down. She took him at his word and noped tf out. Good for her.”
People Make Mistakes, Was This One Worth Ending A Relationship?
What do you think, was OP in the wrong, or did he completely overreact?
As someone who is prone to falling asleep and boiling pots over, I don’t blame his girlfriend for running for the hills.