Guys, Stop Trying To Flirt With Us These Ways—They Don’t Work

Sometimes when guys are trying to flirt, they do this weird thing where they can playfully tap you on the shoulder or the arm but they won’t let you do it back. Talk about mixed signals.

When You Put Them Down

couple sitting in a field
Photo Credit: Pexel / Ricardo Esquivel
Photo Credit: Pexel / Ricardo Esquivel

Urgh, negging. I don’t know who ever heard about this and thought that it was something that would work, but I am here to tell you it does not. Putting a woman down is not the way to get her to like you.

When You Try Too Hard To Impress Them

man and woman leaning on car near mountain view
Photo Credit: Pexels / Hamann La
Photo Credit: Pexels / Hamann La

It’s fine to be proud of yourself and your accomplishments, in fact, someone who is into you would be interested in that stuff. But there is a fine line between being confident about your accomplishments and bragging.

When You Tease Them In A Mean Way

couple sitting on a fence
Photo Credit: Pexels / Dương Nhân
Photo Credit: Pexels / Dương Nhân

Teasing is fine, as long as it’s just, like, inside jokes and things that you know aren’t going to hurt the other person’s feelings. A lot of guys think that teasing in a way that will make you feel bad is a good way to win someone over.

When You Like Everything They Post

couple sitting on a computer together
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio

For some, this might be a dream come true—who doesn’t want a clingy boyfriend? But for most of us, it might come off as a bit stalkerish. Now, algorithms and all that might just bring them up in your feed all the time, but make sure you’re not coming on too strong.

When You Talk About Other People You’re Seeing

couple walking on a farm
Photo Credit: Pexels / Emma Bauso
Photo Credit: Pexels / Emma Bauso

No one likes to hear about your current dating life. Opening the ex files is interesting, it’s good to know someone’s past, but no one cares about the number of women you’re seeing or all the girls who want you. Sorry about it.

When You Tickle Them

couple playing on a skateboard
Photo Credit: Pexels / Edward Eyer
Photo Credit: Pexels / Edward Eyer

Don’t ever play-tickle someone. It’s weird, it’s gross, and it’s a throwback to middle school when boys with greasy hair wanted to try and kiss you but didn’t know how to do it.

When You Make A Lot Of Sexual Jokes

couple sitting on a trunk together
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jonathan Borba
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jonathan Borba

Sure, let someone know you find them attractive, but don’t go all out and make a bunch of super sexually charged jokes. That’s going to make you look like a perv and the whole situation will get uncomfortable.

When You Act Disinterested

a guy smoking behind a girl
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro

Let’s not play games. This whole “they’ll like me more if I ignore them” thing is not a thing. It doesn’t work, it just makes for a really frustrating, untrustworthy start to a relationship.

When You Say Something Accidentally Sexist

couple sitting on the beach together
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Daria Shevtsova
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Daria Shevtsova

There are a lot of guys out there who think that it’s a great compliment to tell a woman she’s not like other women he knows. That just makes you seem questionable, it doesn’t make her feel good about herself.

Here Are Some Ways To Flirt That Might Get You Somewhere

couple drinking coffee together at Starbucks
Photo Credit: Pexels / Eduardo Simões Neto Junior
Photo Credit: Pexels / Eduardo Simões Neto Junior

Maybe you’ve tried some of these things and they work for you. There are lots of different kinds of people in the world. All I’m saying is that there are some more constructive ways to flirt that might be more successful, more often.

Here are some.

Hold Eye Contact

a couple walking on a hiking trail together
Photo Credit: Pexels / Vitor Lima
Photo Credit: Pexels / Vitor Lima

Eye contact can seem really scary, and it kind of is. There is something really intimate about looking someone in the eye, especially when you’re getting to know a person in the way you’d want to before dating. But it’s one of those things that are sexy and noticeable.

Smile! It’s A Real Thing

couple in a train station
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jonathan Borba
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jonathan Borba

Everyone has an amazing smile, these are just facts, especially when it’s a genuine one. If you’re feeling happy and engaged, then show them with that big gorgeous grin. Remember, act natural, though.

Give Genuine Compliments

a couple out for dinner
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro

Don’t go overboard with compliments and don’t give compliments that are followed up by a teasing or nasty remark. Just simply mention something that you’ve noticed and compliment them on it. For extra points, compliment them on something that isn’t sexual.

Make Them Laugh

a black and white photo of a couple laughing
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro

It’s cliché, but boy does it work. Making someone laugh is one of the ultimate aphrodisiacs. It means you know how to have fun and also that you have the depth of personality to enjoy things.

Use Your Body Language To Show You’re Interested

a couple cuddling together
Photo Credit: Pexels / Ba Tik
Photo Credit: Pexels / Ba Tik

Body language is key when it comes to flirty. Make sure your feet and shoulders are pointed toward them, lower your head so you can hear them when they talk, and don’t forget about that eye contact we talked about.

Stand Up Straight

someone cooked dinner for his date
Photo Credit: Pexels / Artem Beliaikin
Photo Credit: Pexels / Artem Beliaikin

Everyone loves confidence, it doesn’t matter who you are. That’s why when you’re with someone you like or approaching someone for the first time, it’s important to stand up straight with your shoulders back. They’ll notice, I promise.

Make Ever So Slight Contact

couple sitting on a park bridge
Photo Credit: Pexels / Artem Beliaikin
Photo Credit: Pexels / Artem Beliaikin

Don’t go grabbing at them, that’s weird and uncalled for. But the slightest brush of your foot against theirs or tapping them on the arm if they make you laugh might send the sparks flying.

Ask Them Questions

couple watching Netflix together on the couch
Photo Credit: Pexels / Edward Eyer
Photo Credit: Pexels / Edward Eyer

This one is huge! If you want the person you’re flirting with to actually feel like you’re interested, be interested! Ask them questions, remember what they say, and keep the conversation going.

Let Them Ask You Questions

couple eating pizza together on the beach
Photo Credit: Pexels / Maksim Goncharenok
Photo Credit: Pexels / Maksim Goncharenok

It can seem like the right call to make flirting all about them, but if they’re feeling you, then they’re going to want to get in there too with some of their own moves. Keep conversations and questions open so they know you want to talk to them.