Guys, Stop Trying To Flirt With Us These Ways—They Don’t Work
Sometimes when guys are trying to flirt, they do this weird thing where they can playfully tap you on the shoulder or the arm but they won't let you do it back. Talk about mixed signals.
There are certain ways that guys try and flirt with girls that just don't work.
When You Put Them Down
Urgh, negging. I don't know who ever heard about this and thought that it was something that would work, but I am here to tell you it does not.
Putting a woman down is not the way to get her to like you.
When You Try Too Hard To Impress Them
It's fine to be proud of yourself and your accomplishments, in fact, someone who is into you would be interested in that stuff.
But there is a fine line between being confident about your accomplishments and bragging.
When You Tease Them In A Mean Way
Teasing is fine, as long as it's just, like, inside jokes and things that you know aren't going to hurt the other person's feelings.
A lot of guys think that teasing in a way that will make you feel bad is a good way to win someone over.
When You Like Everything They Post
For some, this might be a dream come true—who doesn't want a clingy boyfriend? But for most of us, it might come off as a bit stalkerish.
Now, algorithms and all that might just bring them up in your feed all the time, but make sure you're not coming on too strong.
When You Talk About Other People You're Seeing
No one likes to hear about your current dating life. Opening the ex files is interesting, it's good to know someone's past, but no one cares about the number of women you're seeing or all the girls who want you.
Sorry about it.
When You Tickle Them
Don't ever play-tickle someone.
It's weird, it's gross, and it's a throwback to middle school when boys with greasy hair wanted to try and kiss you but didn't know how to do it.
When You Make A Lot Of Sexual Jokes
Sure, let someone know you find them attractive, but don't go all out and make a bunch of super sexually charged jokes.
That's going to make you look like a perv and the whole situation will get uncomfortable.
When You Act Disinterested
Let's not play games. This whole "they'll like me more if I ignore them" thing is not a thing.
It doesn't work, it just makes for a really frustrating, untrustworthy start to a relationship.
When You Say Something Accidentally Sexist
There are a lot of guys out there who think that it's a great compliment to tell a woman she's not like other women he knows.
That just makes you seem questionable, it doesn't make her feel good about herself.
Here Are Some Ways To Flirt That Might Get You Somewhere
Maybe you've tried some of these things and they work for you. There are lots of different kinds of people in the world.
All I'm saying is that there are some more constructive ways to flirt that might be more successful, more often.
Here are some.
Hold Eye Contact
Eye contact can seem really scary, and it kind of is. There is something really intimate about looking someone in the eye, especially when you're getting to know a person in the way you'd want to before dating.
But it's one of those things that are sexy and noticeable.
Smile! It's A Real Thing
Everyone has an amazing smile, these are just facts, especially when it's a genuine one. If you're feeling happy and engaged, then show them with that big gorgeous grin.
Remember, act natural, though.
Give Genuine Compliments
Don't go overboard with compliments and don't give compliments that are followed up by a teasing or nasty remark. Just simply mention something that you've noticed and compliment them on it.
For extra points, compliment them on something that isn't sexual.
Make Them Laugh
It's cliché, but boy does it work. Making someone laugh is one of the ultimate aphrodisiacs.
It means you know how to have fun and also that you have the depth of personality to enjoy things.
Use Your Body Language To Show You're Interested
Body language is key when it comes to flirty.
Make sure your feet and shoulders are pointed toward them, lower your head so you can hear them when they talk, and don't forget about that eye contact we talked about.
Stand Up Straight
Everyone loves confidence, it doesn't matter who you are. That's why when you're with someone you like or approaching someone for the first time,
it's important to stand up straight with your shoulders back. They'll notice, I promise.
Make Ever So Slight Contact
Don't go grabbing at them, that's weird and uncalled for.
But the slightest brush of your foot against theirs or tapping them on the arm if they make you laugh might send the sparks flying.
Ask Them Questions
This one is huge! If you want the person you're flirting with to actually feel like you're interested, be interested!
Ask them questions, remember what they say, and keep the conversation going.
Let Them Ask You Questions
It can seem like the right call to make flirting all about them, but if they're feeling you, then they're going to want to get in there too with some of their own moves.
Keep conversations and questions open so they know you want to talk to them.
Now, Let's Talk About The Places You Shouldn't Flirt With Girls
Now that we've talked about the dos and don'ts of flirting, we can get into the places you shouldn't flirt with someone and some of the places you should!
It might seem like a no-brainer that a funeral isn't an appropriate place to pick someone up, but you'd be surprised.
The Gym
Ok, this might seem like exactly the right place to flirt with someone, but it really isn't.
Everyone there is just trying to focus on doing their work out, and they don't want to be worried about all the creepy guys who are trolling around for a date.
At Work
Look, I'm not saying that you shouldn't pursue someone at work if they've been clear about being interested as well, but I am saying you should keep things professional.
Flirting in your work emails or sharing those sexy glances across the office might feel like they're going unnoticed, but they're not.
A Job Interview
Don't embarrass yourself and blow your chance at a new job by trying to put the moves on whoever is interviewing you. It's not a good look, and it's going to stop that person from taking you seriously.
If you really feel like you want to ask that person out, hold on to their email and send them a friendly email after the job has been filled.
In Your Therapist's Office
It's shocking how often this happens to people. You're going to therapy to work through some of your problems, not create more for yourself or other people.
Trying to flirt with someone at a therapist's office is inappropriate and a huge red flag. What happened to privacy?
On An Airplane
Yeah, flirting on an airplane might seem like it would be really hot, but if the person you're flirting with is not feeling it, it could be pretty scary.
Try not to initiate flirting with someone in a place where they literally have no way to get away from you.
At A Funeral
I can't believe this one has to be explained, but here we are. You should never try and flirt with someone at a funeral. It doesn't matter how many times you've seen Wedding Crashers. It's never going to be a good idea.
People are grieving at a funeral, or there supporting someone who is grieving. The last thing they want to do is deal with your cheesy pick-up lines.
The Emergency Room
When you're in the emergency room, the last thing on your mind should be who there is cute.
Being in the emergency room is already a high-stress situation. Any flirting in that kind of situation is an unwanted advance and should be avoided at all costs.
Now For Some Places You Should Flirt
There are certain places where it is OK to try and do a little flirting, as long as you're not coming on too strong or pressing the issue if someone has turned you down.
But, there is a good chance that if the other person is feeling you, you will have luck in some of these places.
Coffee Shops, Bars, And Restaurants
An obvious answer to the question of "where is it OK to flirt?" is coffee shops, bars, and some restaurants. Don't hit on someone who is there on a date already. That's just rude.
But, if you've been making eyes at each other from across the room, then be brave and make the first move. A simple question like, "what did you order?" will work just fine.
A Class, The Grocery Store, Or A Wedding
Some other good places are in a class, at the grocery store, or a wedding.
A Class: You're already somewhere where you have a shared interest. Use that as a conversation started.
A Grocery Store: Make sure that you're not acting like a stalker following them around, but a grocery store is an excellent place to ask someone for help or make a comment about grocery shopping itself to start a conversation.
A Wedding: You've probably been put at the single's table for a reason. Make the best of it!
