Signs You’re Not Really In Love With Him Even If You Think You Are

Feelings are a difficult thing to navigate, even the good ones. When you’ve started seeing someone and it feels like love, that’s really exciting, but feeling like love doesn’t mean that it is actually love.

There are some things you can look out for and consider to try and help understand what your true feelings might be.

You Don’t Care About Their Drama

couple drinking wine at candlelit table
Photo Credit: Unsplash / René Ranisch
Photo Credit: Unsplash / René Ranisch

Everyone has something going on in their life that’s a little bit crazy, whether it be their working life, friends, family, or a crazy ex. In the beginning, you were hanging on to their every word, but now you just don’t really care.

It’s Normal For You To Zone Out

woman on phone while her companion is talking
Photo Credit: Unsplash / john amachaab
Photo Credit: Unsplash / john amachaab

When they’re talking to you, especially if it’s just the two of you, you tend to zone out and listen but not really hear. This is just another way you deal with having lost interest.

You Never Thought About A Future

couple looking out over the water
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Hanna Balan
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Hanna Balan

You don’t need to see a future right away with someone, but if you’ve been together for a while and you still don’t see this person as potentially serious material, you might be wasting both your time.

You’re Happiest On Your Own

woman with her eyes closed
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Brooke Cagle
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Brooke Cagle

Everyone loves alone time. There is no question about that. However, when you’re dating someone and you still prefer being on your own all the time and never really want to see your partner, that’s a bad sign.

You Can Go A Few Days At A Time Without Talking

woman with a ponytail
Photo Credit: Unsplash / sobhan joodi
Photo Credit: Unsplash / sobhan joodi

Most people like being able to check in with their partner at least once or twice a day if they can, but if life gets busy, it isn’t that big of a deal. What is a big deal is if a few days go by and you don’t talk and you don’t really notice.

You Don’t Share Things About Your Life

couple sitting outside at sunset, man staring at woman, woman staring at viewer
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Анна Хазова
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Анна Хазова

One of the most important things about being with someone is the fact that you’re going to learn how to share a life with one another, and that means being open with each other. If you don’t want to share, it probably isn’t love.

They’re Not A Priority

guy kissing girl on the forehead
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Kate Kozyrka
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Kate Kozyrka

If the person you’re dating isn’t a priority, that’s a pretty big red flag. They don’t need to be the only defining thing in your life, but they certainly should be something you take into consideration when you’re making life plans.

Your Relationship Is Moving At A Snails Pace

couple cuddling
Photo Credit: Unsplash / LOGAN WEAVER
Photo Credit: Unsplash / LOGAN WEAVER

There is nothing wrong with taking things slow as long as they are actually moving along. Being stuck in one place with no promise of a future isn’t going to be good.

You’re Not Interested In Introducing Him To Family

Couple embracing in dramatic lighting with dark background
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Jonathan Borba
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Jonathan Borba

Again, you don’t need to rush things, but check in with yourself and consider if you actually do want this person to meet with your family and your friends. If not, ask yourself why that is.

You Walk Out Of Fights

woman looking out some windows
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Roberto Nickson
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Roberto Nickson

Fighting is never fun. No one likes to do it. That’s why, at first, it might make sense that you’re not likely to actually stick around for a fight. There is a big difference, though, between wanting to fight right and not acknowledging fights at all.

You Think About Cheating

woman drinking iced coffee, staring at something off-camera
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Jonathan Borba
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Jonathan Borba

Everyone has fantasies, that’s just human nature. That being said, having a fantasy is not the same actually making plans in your head about potentially cheating on your partner. People who cheat don’t love the person they are with.

Being Around Them Makes You Anxious

woman looking sad
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Jonathan Borba
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Jonathan Borba

Pay attention to how you feel deep down when they are around you. Do you feel peaceful? Calm? Taken care of and loved? Or do you feel stressed out, anxious, and like you can’t wait to get home?

You’re Forcing Them To Change

couple laughing in front of the ocean
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Chermiti Mohamed
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Chermiti Mohamed

You should never start dating a person thinking that they’re going to change or that you can change them for the better. If that’s going through your head, then it’s probably a good idea to just move on now.

You Don’t Touch Each Other A Lot

a couple eating on a patio
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Allen Altiner
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Allen Altiner

Physical touch is one of the things that separates an intimate relationship from a friendship. No one is asking you to be the king and queen of PDA, but if you don’t sneak a little touch here and there, it could be because you’re not feeling connected to them.

You Find Them More Annoying Than Anything

people drinking tea
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Aaron Smith
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Aaron Smith

No one is perfect, and no matter who you date, there are going to be things that rub you the wrong way. If you’re finding them annoying more often than not, though, you might just think they’re annoying.

You Complain About Them A Lot

friends on some swings together
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Bewakoof.com Official
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Bewakoof.com Official

Your friends are probably sick of hearing it, but it doesn’t stop you. Your friends are there to listen to you, but you should hope to be in a relationship that is going to give you a lot of funny and heartwarming stories to share, too, not just compliments.

You Feel Relieved When They Cancel Plans

woman walking in a field
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Iarm Rmah
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Iarm Rmah

They send you a text and it says that they’re really sorry, they have to reschedule, and you get butterflies. That’s not a great sign at all, is it? You should get butterflies when they want to make plans, not when they cancel.

You Haven’t Deleted Your Dating Apps

woman on her phone
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Paul Hanaoka
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Paul Hanaoka

If the relationship is new, you don’t have to be in a huge rush to make things exclusive, but if you think that you might be in love with them but you can’t part with your dating apps, is that really love? Or just a fling?

You Don’t Really Think About Them During The Day

a black and white photo of a girl
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Maria Lysenko
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Maria Lysenko

Even the relationships that have been together for the longest still have the people in the couple thinking about each other throughout the day. Does your significant other ever cross your mind?

You’re Picking Fights Over Little Things

woman looking sad at a desk
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Magnet me
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Magnet me

Maybe you’re picking fights because you are hoping that one of them is going to get big enough that you might break up over it. Fighting all the time about little things is not healthy or supportive in a relationship.