Are you caught in some weird relationship no man’s land where you don’t really know what your status is but you’re pretty sure you know what it’s not?
You’re not the only one. Sometimes the signs that you’re trapped in a friends with benefits (aka FWB) situation are right in front of you but you need someone to point them out.
He Says He’s “Not A Labels Kind Of Guy”
He’s going to be very resistant to the idea of slapping a relationship status on your fling. He won’t bring it up and he’ll probably say something about not liking “labels” if you steer the conversation that way.
Men who avoid labels aren’t leaving you clueless, but showing you exactly what they’re after (and it’s not a relationship).
He Keeps The Bar Low
He’s aiming low and hoping to avoid disappointment, which is obviously not the case because his behavior is disappointing all on its own.
He’s probably going to want you to think he’s good in bed and that’s about it. He won’t be putting in any extra effort to impress you outside the bedroom and doesn’t really care what you think about him.
He’s Never Around When You Need Him To Be
You’re not asking for the world here, but sometimes it’s nice to have someone show up for you.
Nobody wants to spend their birthday waiting for someone to call or spend their worst day being ignored by someone they care about. He’s not the person you rely on when times are tough and he never will be because he doesn’t want to be.
He Won’t Introduce You To His Friends
He makes a serious effort to keep you separated from the rest of his social life so that he doesn’t have to explain to his friends what you are to him.
He won’t be eager to bring around a girl that he only sees as a hookup because he won’t want his friends to get the wrong impression.
You’ve Never Gone On An Actual Date Together
If you have never gone out the front door with him to go on a real date, he’s just seeing you as a FWB.
He’s down to meet up in the privacy of one of your homes but he has no intention of ever taking you out to a restaurant or event where you could have fun in public. It’s all about the sex for him.
You Never Talked About Your Relationship Status (Or Lack Of One)
Even when you try to have the dreaded “talk” about what your relationship status is, he’s a master escape artist when the subject arises.
He always seems to steer the conversation elsewhere or make you feel crazy for bringing it up. After a certain point of trying and failing to have the conversation, you have to realize you won’t ever have it with him.
You Never Really Talk About Anything Important
If and when you do get the chance to have a real conversation, it’s always pretty meaningless and never goes anywhere.
He keeps conversations short and simple so that your weird “relationship” can also stay simple and casual. He would rather run away than talk about anything remotely emotional or deep.
One Of You Always Leaves After Sex
You can try to convince yourself that it’s normal in a hundred different ways, but it all comes down to how you feel afterward.
You hardly spend time together outside of the bedroom and once he’s gotten what he wants, the connection immediately disappears. That means you’re his FWB, and he’s not even a good friend. He sees you only as a hookup in the moment.
If There Is No Chance Of Hooking Up, He Doesn’t Want To See You
People menstruate, okay?! If he’s not willing to see you the week that you’re on your period, he is the one waving a giant red flag.
If you’re not in the mood for sex and he’s “coincidentally” not in the mood to see you, it’s less of a coincidence and more of a toxic behavior.
You Never Make Real Plans
Everything is always going to be last-minute with this guy.
He’s never going to initiate making plans and he’ll likely have a long list of excuses ready to avoid committing to your plans. He can’t even commit to hanging out with you, let alone a relationship.
He Doesn’t Take Any Kind Of Interest In Your Personal Life
Friends care about how your day at work went, what’s new in your world, and how your life is going.
If he can’t even bring himself to pay attention to you when you’re talking about something from your world, he’s making his intentions very obvious. You’re not dating and you’re hardly even friends because he only sees one end goal with you: sex.
He Avoids Introducing You To People At All Costs
There’s a good chance he’s going to avoid introducing you to anyone so that he can dodge the inevitable “this is my…” awkwardness.
He does not want to call you his girlfriend so he’ll avoid any situation that could lead to him having to fumble through telling someone who you are to him.
Don’t Ignore The Signs
If you read this article and can relate to these situations, the signs are all right there in front of you.
The best thing to do is put yourself first and recognize you deserve a partner who wants a legitimate relationship with you, not a high school fling for teenagers with elastic hearts.
Put Some Distance Between You Two
Take some serious time and space, let him know this situation is not working out for you, and set some distance between you and him.
You don’t need to constantly be wishing he cared more because the truth is that someone else out there won’t make you wish and hope.