Going on vacation with a significant other can be a really fun experience. But things can get a little messy when it comes to paying for the vacay if one person earns a lot more than the other.
A man and his girlfriend came to a roadblock in their relationship recently when the two went on vacation with his family and he expected her to pay for everything 50/50.
“Reddit, Am I The A-hole?”
This user posted to Reddit’s Am I The A-hole thread asking for feedback.
“AITA for inviting my (29M) Girlfriend (28F) on an expensive vacation and expecting her to pay all of her share? (I make a lot more than her)” Okay, dude, we get it, you’re rich.
This Guy, His Family, And His Girlfriend Went On An Expensive Vacation
Daddy Warbucks starts off the post by explaining, “My girlfriend, myself, my parents, and my brother and his wife all went on vacation in another country a week ago.”
“My brother and I were the ones who did most of the planning of the itinerary although we did ask everyone else for input.”
He Makes 3x What His Girlfriend Does
The poster reveals that the man earns about $150,000 doing IT consulting, whereas his girlfriend is a teacher earning about $45,000 a year. The rest of his family is also well-off.
“My girlfriend knew this trip was coming up and took on a second job waitressing on the weekends for several months to get ready for it. We have always split things 50/50 in the two years we have been together.”
She Resorted To Skipping Meals And Activities
“There were a few times on the vacation when she did not go on outings with us—wine tasting/scuba diving/etc. She also would only eat two meals a day, simply stating that she was on a budget.”
The man reminds us all of his family’s affluence, mentioning that they visited “high-end (*expensive*)” places during their vacation. His parents took notice that his girlfriend was only joining them for two meals a day, saying that it was “very strange.”
“Her Stomach Was Growling One Night”
Apparently, the man waited to say anything to his girlfriend until they returned home from their trip.
“When we got home I asked her why she skipped out on several of the outings and only ate two meals a day. I mentioned how I heard her stomach growling one night and said I was concerned about her having an eating disorder.”
She Wasn’t Expecting Everything To Cost So Much
“She got teary-eyed and said that three meals a day wasn’t fiscally feasible for her and neither were the outings that she chose not to go on (she went on three of six outings).”
“She said she was not expecting everything to cost so much and she was overwhelmed.”
“I Don’t Know If This Is Going To Work Long-Term”
The girlfriend then raised concerns about their relationship, unsure if it would work long-term given their financial disparity.
The Redditor said he felt bad for not noticing the issue sooner, “but we did agree to split everything 50/50 and I don’t know why she agreed to come if the cost was an issue.”
A Quick Recap
So, to recap: This guy doesn’t really think he’s done anything wrong, as they agreed to split the cost of everything.
Should she have come to him sooner about her money concerns? Or was it his responsibility to tell her upfront how much everything would cost, and ask if she needed help? Because it seems like the family leads a very extravagant lifestyle…
What Did The Comments Say?
Let’s get into a couple of the responses on Reddit from users who evaluated his situation.
Spoiler alert: Most people were not in favor of this guy, and he got a lot of “you are the a-hole” comments. Why? Let’s discuss.
“She Didn’t Enjoy The Holiday At All”
This commenter pointed out the fact that the man KNOWS that he makes three times the amount of money his girlfriend does.
Taking this into account, why would he plan such an extravagant trip? She clearly didn’t want to feel embarrassed and ask for things to be cheaper, but she still wanted to go be with him and his family, which is why she resorted to eating less.
Some Shared Their Own Experiences
Other users shared how they split different costs and such with their partners.
This specific user explained that they make more than their spouse, so rather than splitting things 50/50, they split things 66/34.
He Let Her Go To Bed Hugry
Many people pointed out that a few days passed before the guy decided to confront her about how she was obviously skipping meals.
He was turning a blind eye even though he probably knew deep down why she was skipping the expensive meals. In reality, he and his family probably should have been more accomodating.
He Was In The Wrong For Thinking She Should Have Just Stayed Home
Even though the man did not fully understand why his girlfriend agreed to come in the first place, she obviously just wanted to spend time with him and his family.
Yet the entire vacation was a reminder of how they lead very different lives due to the amount of money they make.
“Pay Her Back”
People also called for him to pay her back for some of her share of the vacation because “she spent all her money on a holiday she didn’t even get to enjoy.”
Personally, I know I’d be so stressed if I were on vacation with a rich friend and didn’t have the money to do the same activities as them or eat the same meals.
So, Nobody Was On His Side
I searched the comments for a singular “you’re not the a-hole” opinion, and just couldn’t find anyone that was on his side.
What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments!