Little Things That May Seem Like Love But Are Actually Manipulative
When you start dating someone, you're excited to learn everything about them. As you get to know this new person, you're both probably on your best behavior at all times and that might cause you to miss some really minor red flags. Those red flags can grow into some pretty manipulative behavior that disguises itself as loving gestures.
Constantly Checking In
It might seem cute that they're always checking in to see what you're doing, but if this is something he does all the time when you're not together, he's likely he's checking up on you to make sure that he knows what you're doing all the time.
He Hits You With The "...But I Love You So Much" Excuse
If he does something that kind of rubs you the wrong way or makes you feel uncomfortable or jealous and then gives you the "but I love you so much" excuse, he's trying to shut down the conversation and get you back in his good books.
He Tells You He Can't Live Without You
This may seem like a really sweet thing to say, but if they use this a lot to stop you from doing this or potentially leaving the relationship, that's straight-up emotional blackmail.
He Says You're His Whole World
Again, this is really manipulative. It isn't reasonable or healthy to expect someone to be your whole world and provide you with everything you need. You're not capable of that and putting that kind of pressure on you isn't fair.
He Spoils You With Things You Don't Need
Getting gifts is nice, especially if it is once in a blue moon. But ask yourself: is he giving you so many gifts to make you feel like you might owe him, or to stay in your good books because he's always messing up?
He's Always "Worried" About You
If you don't respond to him right away, he starts texting and calling constantly because he's worried about you. That's really controlling behavior. He plays it off like he's a loving boyfriend, but really he's trying to keep tabs.
He's Flatters You Constantly
Obviously, we all want a boyfriend who is going to compliment us, and I'm not saying that's bad. What I am saying is that if they're super charming all the time and throwing you compliment after compliment to the point of it being kind of crazy, they might be using this charm to try and manipulate you.
He Wants To Start A Family...Like Now
Having a family is a really great goal and something a lot of people look forward to. But, if it seems like he's pressuring you to start a family so you can quit your job and stay home to raise kids, he might be trying to control your life.
He Tells You When You've Had Enough Of Something
This one is really annoying and super unnecessary. He might be trying to assert control over your life if he's telling you to stop doing something, like saying you've had enough of something to eat or drink.
He Tells You How Much Better You Are Than Other People
Don't you hate it anyway when someone tells you that you're not like other women? If they say that you're not like other women because you're not this or that, don't fall for it.
He Calls You "Crazy" Or "Dumb"
It's never OK to call someone crazy or dumb, even if they are joking. Someone who jokes with you in a way that breaks you down is trying to give you a complex so you think that you won't have better than them.
He's Always Making Suggestions "For Your Own Good"
If he's making a lot of suggestions about things you should do that will change your life for the better, this is another way that he's trying to manipulate you and keep you under his control.
He Needed To See—That's Why He Got Mad
If you're making plans to go out and be on your own or with your friends and then all of a sudden he needs you, that's mighty convenient, isn't it? That kind of convenient neediness isn't OK.
He's Super Sweet After You Have An Argument
If he's super sweet after you've had an argument, then he's just trying to butter you up so that you aren't mad anymore or feel guilty even for being mad. He's being manipulative.
They Won't Let You Do Anything Without Them
We all dream of having someone who wants to be a huge part of our life, and you should have that. But ask yourself if it is healthy for you to be with someone 24/7. You need to have your own separate lives.
They Pressure You To Tell Them Everything
You should want to be honest with the people in your life that you love, but by no means do you owe someone every single truth about you. Trying to bully you into telling them everything about you when you don't want to is toxic.
They Tell You No One Will Ever Love You Like They Do
This is a tactic that manipulative people will use to make someone stick with them who they think might be on the verge of leaving. It's just another way to guilt someone into staying with them.
Over-Apologizing And Asking You Not To Give Up On Them
If you have a fight and he's not showering you with compliments, maybe he's over-apologizing and begging you not to give up on him in a way that seems like it's almost way too much.
They're Always Monitoring Your Social Media
You might have a manipulative boyfriend if you're with someone who is more up to date with what's going on on your Twitter than you are. Same with if they're keeping tabs on your friends.
He's Always Doing Things For You At His Place
It's the home-field advantage. If he's always wanting to do things with you at his place, like cook you meals and he uses excuses like he has a better TV, ask yourself what that's about.
