Women Call Out The Phrases In Men’s Dating Profiles That Make Them Swipe Left

This list could actually be endless. The average of left swipes to right swipes for the majority of women has to be around 50 to 1 at the very least. Before you blame dating culture and the multitude of options, maybe men need to consider that it’s their lackluster profiles that are the issue.

From captions with no substance to self-proclaimed “alpha males,” these profiles immediately got a left swipe.

“I’m An Open Book”

Man Reading A Book looks at camera
Photo Credit: Anifisa Eremina / Pexels
Photo Credit: Anifisa Eremina / Pexels

“Or ‘just ask’—man, give me something to work with!” —sassylittlespoon / Reddit

By saying you’re an open book without even giving out the title is like saying that all the pages are blank and there’s no substance to that book.

“Alpha Male”

man smirking in a suit
Photo Credit: Nojan Namdar / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Nojan Namdar / Unsplash

“‘Alpha Male,’ ‘here for a good time, not a long time,’ ‘fluent in sarcasm,’ and ‘is anyone on here real?'” —ladylovie / Reddit

These are all the makings of the same type of guy. If you have to describe yourself as an alpha male, then you’re clearly just trying to convince yourself. We often attribute that to your insecurities.

“Entrepreneur”

Man On The Phone looking out the window of coffee shop
Photo Credit: Austin Distel / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Austin Distel / Unsplash

“Anyone that has ‘entrepreneur’ on their profile is someone I do not want to be around.” —WitherWithout / Reddit

Entrepreneur of what? Just the word by itself is so vague and makes us think of pyramid schemes. For all we know, you could be an entrepreneur selling soap from Avon.

“Don’t Waste My Time”

man takes out pocket watch from vest
Photo Credit: Sam Mgrdichian / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Sam Mgrdichian / Unsplash

“‘Don’t waste my time.’ OK, swiped left, congrats on conserving your time.” —color-balance / Reddit

It’s not our fault that you deem every failed connection as a waste of your time rather than learning from them and growing to be a better person who comes up with substantial captions.

“Because Apparently, That Matters”

man holds a drink by window balcony
Photo Credit: Keegan Checks / Pexels
Photo Credit: Keegan Checks / Pexels

“Any height followed by ‘because apparently that matters.’ Or, listing nothing but height.” —EricaCrop / Reddit

Usually, this is an indication that you actually don’t feel good about your height, while we really don’t care. Our attraction to you will be based on so much more than how tall you loom over us.

“Make Me Change My Mind About Women”

diverse woman stand laughing
Photo Credit: Gemma Chua Tran / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Gemma Chua Tran / Unsplash

“It’s very manipulative and the perfect bait for ‘pick me girls.'” —KitchenBiscotti1 / Reddit

Why do some men think of women still as catty competitors when really we’re all part of the same sisterhood? Saying something like this is an insult to all women and a huge turn-off.

“Message Me If…”

Man Texting while standing
Photo Credit: Hannah Busing / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Hannah Busing / Unsplash

“One time a guy had on his OKC ‘message me if you know how they get the M on the M&M’ So I messaged him ‘it’s a stamp!’ with a link to an article, and he was like ‘Uh ok.'” —ParadiseSold / Reddit

This is why dating is confusing. You’re the one who asked to be messaged about this, so the first step to communication would be acknowledgment.

A Novel About Your Ex

Man sitting on bridge looking sad
Photo Credit: Whoislimos / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Whoislimos / Unsplash

“Saying you’re ready to settle down with that elusive right woman, and then writing a novel about how much you hate your ex/how she made you cheat/how she stole everything/why you went to jail…

“It’s like a really bad infomercial with lots of more, but no actual product.” —JustWentToGround / Reddit

“If You Can’t Take A Joke…”

two women laughing while drinking beer on bar bench
Photo Credit: Elevate / Pexels
Photo Credit: Elevate / Pexels

“‘or are easily offended’…” —nzkwjb / Reddit

How come these men won’t consider that the issue might be their insensitive and not-at-all-funny jokes? This is a red flag for the kind of guys who will insult you, mask it as a joke, and then get confused at why you’re upset.

“Looking For An Intelligent Companion”

person looking through binoculars surrounded by books
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

“Which is fine. However, the pretentious rant that comes after that usually destroys it. So, are you looking for your intellectual equal, or are you looking for someone to dumb it down enough to give your sad rant some credibility?” —JustWentToGround / Reddit

Rather than ask for it, look for it, and determine for yourself if you’re an intellectual match.

“You Wanna Know Who The Most Beautiful Person In The World Is?”

woman in photoshoot posing on one leg
Photo Credit: Patricia Palma / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Patricia Palma / Unsplash

“‘…Just read the first word again’ I found this on the profile of my old boss, who super liked me. He was one of the worst bosses I’ve worked for.” —urbanlulu / Reddit

Here is our take on that: “You wanna know who is staying single another day? Just read the first word again.”

“I Never Get Matches Anyway”

close up of hand holding phone with tinder app
Photo Credit: Mika Baumeister / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Mika Baumeister / Unsplash

“Anything that’s unironically self-deprecating. Like ‘Nobody swipes right on me…'” —you-lack-attention17 / Reddit

Fake it till you make it, but not so much as to lie. Just enough to show your best and most confident self even if that’s not the way that you feel at all times.

“I Promise I Won’t Kill You”

woman cooking in creepy blue smoke
Photo Credit: murat Esibatir / Pexels
Photo Credit: murat Esibatir / Pexels

“He said THAT and then kept referring in-jokes to it. ‘Promise I’m not a serial killer, I’ll get you home on time. I love going for walks on the beach and I’ll keep you safe. Don’t worry my trunk has a safety handle on the inside and I promise I won’t kill you… Etc. What started out as a joke in the beginning actually started to scare me by the end.” —You_MayBeRight / Reddit

We get that this an unspoken fear, but that’s what makes it no joking matter.

A Picture Of Your Car

Parked truck on dirt road
Photo Credit: Scosche / Pexels
Photo Credit: Scosche / Pexels

“Not a phrase, but a picture of their car/truck/bike as their profile picture with or without them in the picture too. Unless there is a cat in there somewhere it’s just kind of odd. Should I assume that you are a car?” —embersapril / Reddit

Who knows…maybe they’re a transformer!

“Love A Girl Who Can Cook”

man and woman cooking on kitchen island
Photo Credit: Jason Briscoe / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Jason Briscoe / Unsplash

“Anything involving women who can cook. ‘Will introduce you to my parents if you can cook’ etc. If that’s the relationship two people want cool, no judgment, but to me, it reads like you can’t cook and are going to expect me to do it for you.” —Alternative_Answer / Reddit

We’re only here for relationships with equal give and take!

“Wearing Make Up Is Not A Hobby”

woman wearing light orange tinted makeup
Photo Credit: Gabb Tapic / Pexels
Photo Credit: Gabb Tapic / Pexels

“Then what is it then??” —darling_of_knowledge / Reddit

Men go around preaching that they hate when women wear a ton of makeup and prefer a natural look. What they don’t realize is that while they think a natural look is no makeup at all, they’re still expecting the airbrushed look, which still involves makeup.

“Let Me Show You How You Should Be Treated”

couple stands under umbrella in the rain
Photo Credit: Joel Overbeck / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Joel Overbeck / Unsplash

“This screams of insecurity, possessiveness, and toxic masculinity.” —LittleWinchester / Reddit

Usually, these phrases come with some kind of savior mentality and imply that a woman can’t survive otherwise. While these men portray themselves as gentlemen, they tend to have old-fashioned views on gender roles.

“Loyal And Faithful To One Woman Only”

man kisses woman's forehead as they in bed
Photo Credit: Toa Heftiba / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Toa Heftiba / Unsplash

“That sounds like a warning label on an appliance. Sounds like his life got torpedoed when he got caught cheating.” —JustWentToGround / Reddit

Usually, this is a red flag for possessive and insecure boyfriends. Monogamy doesn’t mean control over your partner. It only means trust.

“Love To Settle Down With A Woman Who Can Tame Me”

man cheers his drink at bar with friends
Photo Credit: John Arano / Unsplash
Photo Credit: John Arano / Unsplash

“Translation: ‘I’m gonna treat you like my mom, except with sex. Then I’m going to complain that you’re no fun.'” —coffeeblossom / Reddit

This is the same man that is going to cheat a year down the line and blame it on the fact that you were trying to “change” him.