People Share Hard Dating Truths That We Wish We’d Heard, Like, Yesterday

Dating is really hard—there’s no way around it. It can be difficult to figure out who is being genuine with you, and partners and society as a whole can make you feel like you’re being unreasonable with how you approach your romantic endeavors.

These people came together to drop their best advice and information that you should keep in mind while dating.

Don’t Justify Someone’s Refusal To Commit

just because he dated you for 7 years it doesn't mean he will marry you. My uncle studied medicine for 6 years now he's a DJ
Photo Credit: Twitter / @parhlozara
Photo Credit: Twitter / @parhlozara

If you’ve made it clear that you want to get married, but your partner doesn’t even consider the idea without clear reasoning as to why they won’t, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together—they won’t take the next step.

He’s Lying To You, Sis

hey girls, if someone sends you your boyfriends tinder profile it means he's on tinder. He didn't
Photo Credit: Reddit / Brown_chick45
Photo Credit: Reddit / Brown_chick45

Other lies include: “That’s an old conversation and she just messaged me again,” and “My friends were just messing around on my account, ahaha, it’s not really me using it.”

Your Body Is Fine Just The Way It Is

after being single for the first time in almost 7 years, I've learned that grown men do not care about: stretch marks, cellulite, stubble, blemishes, periods, mostly anything you're self-conscious about because an ex made you insecure. This has been a PSA
Photo Credit: Twitter / @toricantstfu
Photo Credit: Twitter / @toricantstfu

To both men and women: I’m sorry if a past partner tried to make you feel bad about your body, especially in bed, but know that a good, mature partner would never shame you about it or really even care.

Look Up Your Blind Dates Before Showing Up

I met this dude on tinder and asked what his last name was... he told me, then replied
Photo Credit: Twitter / @emilychyanne_
Photo Credit: Twitter / @emilychyanne_

Before going on a blind date, it’s important to do a quick background search on the person. While they’ll be totally normal most of the time, there are a few occasions where a Google search can keep you safe.

Sometimes, We Have To Look Inward

I told my homegirl,
Photo Credit: Reddit / greenteaapplepie69
Photo Credit: Reddit / greenteaapplepie69

It can be easy to blame our dating failures on past partners, but sometimes we need to take accountability for our own choices. You’re not going to get a better result if you keep consciously choosing the toxic person.

I Can Attest That He’s Probably A Loser

Idk what high school girl under 18 needs to hear this, but that grown man doesn't think you're mature for your age. Women his age just see the bum in him and he's a predator. Tell on him!
Photo Credit: Twitter / @petttybitxh
Photo Credit: Twitter / @petttybitxh

I have never met a man who wanted to date women who were significantly younger than him who wasn’t a total loser who no woman his age would give a second look. Trust me—he is not the type of guy you want.

The Irony Here Is Incredible

Man:
Photo Credit: Reddit / BlackEmeraldMoon
Photo Credit: Reddit / BlackEmeraldMoon

Ladies, listen to me: it is not shallow to want to date a man who you are attracted to. I can’t believe it has to be said, but some men out there will try to make you seem like the problem for not wanting them. They are wrong.

Stop Apologizing For Asking For The Bare Minimum

Meghan Markle got a man to give up being a prince for her and I'm out here like
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thetigersez
Photo Credit: Twitter / @thetigersez

If you feel like you have to beg someone to give you minimal respect, you need to walk away. Stop putting up with poor treatment when you’re worth so much more than that.

Man, I Will Have You For 18 Years

If a guy ever insists that you two have sex without a condom, just smile really big and get teary eyes and emotional and start talking about excited you are that he wants to have a baby with you and when he tries to interject and say that's not what he meant, just talk loudly over hime about possible baby names
Photo Credit: Tumblr / rosetylr
Photo Credit: Tumblr / rosetylr

Jokes aside, never accept a man’s excuse for why he doesn’t want to wear a condom or says he’s unable to. There are latex-free ones for those with allergies, and he will never be “too big” for one.

“Friend-Zoned” Is A Stupid Term

if you think getting friend-zoned is bad, imagine your creepy male friend thinking you owe them sex
Photo Credit: Twitter / @solomongeorgio
Photo Credit: Twitter / @solomongeorgio

The “friend zone” is a place made up by men who believe that by simply knowing you and talking to you, they deserve access to your sexuality. It’s a garbage concept that tries to demonize women for not being into certain men.

It’s The Lack Of Accountability For Me

the crazy ex-girlfriend trop was invented by men so they never have to be responsible for the ways they traumatize women
Photo Credit: Twitter / @queerllorona
Photo Credit: Twitter / @queerllorona

Was she really crazy, or did he gaslight her, disrespect her regularly, and then get annoyed when he asked him to communicate with her? If a man tells me his ex was insane, it’s a red flag.

Treat Others The Way They Treat You

man: what's your address? I'm spending the night. Woman: (sends address). Man: are you playing? that's Helping Hands Humane Society. Woman: yeah I know. they take in strays, I don't
Photo Credit: Reddit / eng2fly
Photo Credit: Reddit / eng2fly

We’ve all heard the golden rule—”treat others the way you want to be treated”—but I believe that there should be a caveat where, if someone actively disrespects you and your boundaries, you’re allowed to return the rude energy.

I Stand By This Statement

Y'all scared to have daughter, I'm scared to have a son that argues with women online all day. That's embarrassing
Photo Credit: Twitter / @__inCANdescent
Photo Credit: Twitter / @__inCANdescent

Whenever a man says that he’s scared to have daughters, what he means is: “I have mistreated women my whole life, I do not respect them, and I think women with sexual agency don’t deserve to be treated like real people.”

It Says More About Your Partner Than Them

your partner's friends disrespecting you is 100% because of the way he speaks to them about you
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Nino_deRosario_
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Nino_deRosario_

Think about it the other way: if your friend tells you that her boyfriend has cheated on her and is rude and controlling, you dislike him before you even meet him. It’s the same principle.

Men Just Hate Women They Can’t Have

men claim to hate gold diggers but what they actually hate is that they can't afford them. The second men get money, they entertain women who they know they would never get if they were broke. In conclusion, men love gold diggers. Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk
Photo Credit: Twitter / @badgalariiii
Photo Credit: Twitter / @badgalariiii

One of the most telling tropes in television and film media is when the broke guy comes into money and success, he wants to rub it in the face of the women who rejected him and proceeds to date other women like her.

Stay Safe Out There, Ladies!

person one: what are you doing if these 5 guys show up to your party? (photo of young men) Person two: putting a lid on my drink
Photo Credit: Twitter / @oomlesbianf
Photo Credit: Twitter / @oomlesbianf

There are a lot of guys who will say “not all men” until they lose their voices, but the reality is that some men offer a threat towards women and it’s okay to actively protect yourself.

It’s The Same Soup, Just Reheated

why would girls choose the entitled and misogynistic jocks instead of the quiet nerds, whose attitudes towards women are exactly on par with the jocks but who are less attractive
Photo Credit: Twitter / @shaun_jen
Photo Credit: Twitter / @shaun_jen

I want to be clear: just about every unattractive guy who says you should take a chance on him because he is “nice” is not actually nice, and he will treat you just as poorly as the hot guy.

This Works In All Aspects Of Life

when i was 19, my boss said I should be a phone sex operator and laughed. I said,
Photo Credit: Twitter / @HeatherTDay
Photo Credit: Twitter / @HeatherTDay

Every woman I know has dealt with this kind of joke at some point in their lives: professionally, personally, romantically, etc. We need to stop laughing off or overlooking harassment and safely challenge the men who perpetuate it.

It’s Okay To Demand More

I don't think women are becoming heartless. I think they are more aware of what they deserve and how they want to be treated. So they aren't afraid to leave when you start acting up. This isn't being heartless—it's just understanding you can have better and not settling
Photo Credit: Twitter / @DManuel93
Photo Credit: Twitter / @DManuel93

I would genuinely rather be alone than be in a relationship that makes me feel inadequate. Let’s destroy the notion that women should settle and instead raise the bar for romantic partners.

Good Luck Out There!

blows my mind that people think sexuality is a choice as if anyone would willingly be attracted to men
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ufobri
Photo Credit: Twitter / @ufobri

In a perfect world, we could choose our sexuality, and I would get married to a nice woman who has a high level of emotional intelligence. However, in this world, I am relegated to dating men and actively working to weed out the bad ones.