Proposals have turned into super over-the-top glorified events that make us feel like we’re somehow missing out if we didn’t receive one ourselves. Yet, often enough, they don’t go at all as planned and someone says no, and for good reason.
Find out the great reasons why these people rejected their proposals as they take their justifications to Reddit.
She Would’ve Been A Felon’s Wife
“I met him at an art opening, he flew back to his home state a couple of days later. We spent a month talking on the phone every day, and he asked me to come with him to Italy while he produced some paintings.
“He told me he was going to propose to me in Italy. I told him this was too much for me and I wasn’t feeling like we were on the same level in the relationship. He called me 50 times through the night. A few years later, I found out he had gone to prison.” —LizaBerlin
Short And Sweet But Reasonable
“Because we had been dating for a week.” —sassylittlespoon
How do you even get to know someone enough in a week to commit the whole rest of your life to them? The first few days only reflect a person’s best self, and it’s only down the line that flaws and incompatibilities show up.
Too Young For Marriage
“I was only 16 he just turned 20. Also, he gave me his ex-girlfriend’s ring.” —kimkatistrash
He was young enough to think it was okay to marry someone so young, but old enough to know better than to use his ex-girlfriend’s ring. It would be interesting to see that ring, though.
A True Love Actually Story
“I was in my first few years of teaching, and one of my 9-year-old students brought his sister’s play ring to school, got down on one knee when the class was on the field, and he proposed to me. It was very sweet. I declined to say that he was a little young for me.” —MrsKilltime
This must be the story that inspired the plotline of Love Actually, which is arguably the most heartwarming one.
It’s All A Matter Of Timing
“We’d been having problems for a few years. His idiot friend told him it was a good idea to propose and that it would make everything magically better. I told him no, we broke up and I moved away for a while.
“As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder…it was true in our case. We were able to work things out. I moved back and two years later, we got married. We’ve been together for 24 years, have two daughters, and one grandchild!” —OtterNonsence417
“Not Right Now” Shouldn’t Mean No Forever
“I was fresh out of high school and dating a guy in the military that I went to school with. We had been dating about three months when he proposed. Three months was just too soon for me, even though we had been friends for quite some time. I told him I wasn’t ready and he never spoke to me again.” —Missesa
Obviously, he lacked a little bit of patience there, so perhaps that worked out for the best.
This Is Why They Say Romance Is Dead
“There was a guy at my high school prom that proposed to his girlfriend in the middle of the dance floor. ‘Low’ by Flo Rida was playing. She said no.” —Loaatao
There are just so many layers of wrongness with that proposal, from how young they still were to the lack of preparation. No one should get proposed while Flo Rida plays.
First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage
“He asked me randomly when on a night out when we weren’t even dating, just friends. I thought he was joking but then he cane over the next day to ask what my feelings were. I had to say I didn’t think of him that way and it was awkward for a while.” —katyvs1
Clearly, he didn’t get the memo on the order of how to do these things. Usually, the proposal comes AFTER you start dating.
A Proposal Is Not A Band-Aid
“Well, he proposed as I was breaking up with him, which was awkward, and for some reason, he thought it would make me change my mind.” —MermaiderMissy
Chances are, if you’re already breaking up before actually getting married, your future isn’t looking so bright. Better to walk away before all the complications of a divorce.
Better To Be Realistic
“When he asked, my future flashed in front of me and I hated it. He was a good guy and I did love him, but we wanted different things. We had been together for many years but the proposal was still a surprise.” —futalfufu
When you’re young and in love, the weight of your goals and priorities doesn’t play as much of a role yet. Better to evaluate it before you’re deep in and realize you can’t even buy a house because one of you never bothered to open a savings account.
Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater
“He literally only proposed because I caught him cheating. He thought I would say ‘yes! Omg of course! I forgive you! Please, continue to cheat on me after we both sign a legally binding contract!'” —floordit
It’s better to be safe than sorry in these situations and wait for actual proof of change before taking the next step forward.
Just About Anyone Will Do
“Got asked by a close female friend. We weren’t dating, I hadn’t ever felt an attraction to her, and I knew she just wanted a husband more than she wanted me, the actual person.” —YouHaveToGoHome
There is no point in getting married just to settle or to fit a timeline. A happy marriage is a marriage founded in love, adventure, and trust.
Just A Little Premature
“It was our first date. He showed up drunk and called me somebody else’s name.” —Missscarlet9314
A good relationship usually starts with introductions and, you know…actually getting to know someone. It doesn’t sound like that guy even made it to a second date.
A Lack Of Depth, Not Of Love
“Every time we had talked about marriage, I told him I wasn’t ready. Our relationship was solid, but I felt sort of listless in it and like we never really fully connected, or had real talks of any depth.
“I always felt like it was me talking and him listening but not giving much back. We never ever fought. The proposal felt like a microcosm of that dynamic: instead of having a real talk about what he wanted, he just bought a ring.” —Scruter
The hardest no is when you do love them, but something just feels like it’s missing.
Living In La-La Land
“He was that weird patron that came in just to talk to me even though I wasn’t interested. He told me he was the heir to the commonwealth and should be king after Elizabeth dies, because he had the three out of the emblems of the UK, and once he got the 4th it would secure his position.
“He would also make airplane noises when I had my attention turned to other tasks.” —ausgekugelt
Imagine he was being truthful, though, and she missed out on being royalty.
There’s A Time And A Place That Doesn’t Include Stealing The Spotlight
“My girlfriend and I were at a friend’s wedding, and I got caught up in the romanticism of it and wound up blurting out a proposal at the reception. She said no, and explained that this wasn’t the memory of a proposal that she wanted. It felt tacky to tie this important moment to someone else’s special day.
“Literally, five minutes later, the bride was going to throw the bouquet. It sailed straight into my girlfriend’s arms. She laughed and said, ‘That moment is pretty good. Okay, I guess we’re engaged.'” —Egheaumaen
A Question Of Patience
“I proposed to my boyfriend of three years. He told me he loved me but just wasn’t ready because his parents had a really bad marriage and frankly, he didn’t know if he could ever get married. I cried my eyes out but he was (gently) adamant.
“Two years later he proposed to me. Married 12 years so far!” —jupitergal23
Part of loving someone is giving them the time and patience to work through their own baggage so they can be the whole and happy person their partner deserves.
A Double-Trouble Situation
“There was a guy who proposed his coworker in the middle of their shift. The girl shouted something rude and walked away. A few minutes go by and the girl comes back with a smile on her face.
“That day, I realized that a pair of twins worked at my workplace. That day, I witnessed that a guy proposed to his girlfriend’s twin by accident.” —YeahManYe
You would think he at least knows which one he’s choosing to spend his whole life with.
It Looks Like Persistence Is Key
“My husband proposed one month into dating. I declined because, you know, one month. A year later, we moved in together and he proposed and I declined because I wasn’t ready.
“Almost three years later and two more declined proposals, I said yes on the 4th time. I finally felt ready. We have been married for 11 years.” —dontbadgerthewitness
Looks like the lesson here is if she says no, try three more times.
Who Says The Man Has To Be The One To Ask?
“Not me, but my dad. Back when he was 18, there was a waitress there he flirted with but never dated. After about 4 years he asked her to marry him. She said no, couldn’t see them having a future together. He said, ‘Alright, I’ll never ask you again.’
“When he was 36, he ran into her at a McDonalds. They got to know each other again, then started dating. Two years later, she felt he was the one but he never asked her to marry him. So instead, she asked him and he and my mom have been married for 43 years now.” —SailorDeath
Never say never!