Man’s Accidental Text To First Date Shows How Men Talk About Women Behind Our Backs

When you go on a date with someone new for the first time, you hope you’ll end up leaving with the feeling of butterflies, not the feeling of being insulted.

One man sent a woman he was going on a first date with an accidental text, and her TikTok about the incident is opening a discussion about how when it comes to “locker room talk,” the only place it belongs is in the trash.

That First Date

Man and woman sitting at a table holding hands
Photo Credit: René Ranisch / Unsplash
Photo Credit: René Ranisch / Unsplash

When people go out on a first date, they hope to be romanced, enjoy a nice glass of wine, and get to know a potential lover a bit better. With the feeling of butterflies, it’s hard not to imagine magical moments like this leading to something more.

But everyone knows that for every perfect first date, there’s one that is anything but.

When A First Date Goes Sideways

Woman has her head in her hands as her date looks at her during a bad date.
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

While some first dates are riddled with zero romantic chemistry, others might erupt in other issues such as disagreeing over who’s responsible for paying the bill. Even if a date goes poorly, hopefully, there was something to be learned from it, such as what you do or do not want in a romantic partner.

What people don’t expect with a first date is to be rudely insulted, especially when derogatory language is used.

Accidental Texts

Close-up photo of a man in a t-shirt texting on cell phone.
Photo Credit: Jonas Leupe / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Jonas Leupe / Unsplash

But let’s take a step back for a moment. What if that first date never even gets off the ground in the first place?

Everyone has made the mistake of accidentally sending a text to the wrong person and it can be an embarrassing situation. But for one man, he joked with a friend via text about going on a date with a woman that quickly ended up backfiring on him due to his poor choice of words.

The TikTok

Molly on a subway train
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

Molly, also known as @mollyhair on TikTok, is a “social worker by day [and] singer by night.” Recently, she went viral for the text message she accidentally received from a man while on her way to meet up with him for a first date. The TikTok has been viewed 6.5 million times and has received 380,000 likes.

The TikTok post is captioned with, “Chivalry is alive #firstdatefail.”

A First Date To Nowhere

Text message between Molly and her date in which he refers to her as a
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

While on her way to a first date with a man, Molly received a text from him asking if she was there yet. Molly then receives another text that she definitely wasn’t expecting. Thinking he was texting a friend, the man accidentally texts Molly, “Waiting on this c**t.”

Immediately realizing his mistake, he texts Molly back and claims he was just joking around with a friend, but she’s not having any of it, asking, “Am I the c**t?”

A Follow-Up Video

Screen capture of Molly's text with her date when he calls her a
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

In a follow-up video, Molly posts the full conversation with her date and explains what happened during and after the accidental text.

Molly was busy parking her car at the time she got the text message, but once she realized that he was actually referring to her using misogynistic language, she says, “I immediately started driving away.”

Trying To Apologize

A text from Molly's date saying that he was joking about referring to her as the C-word and he'll understand if it's completely over between them.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

After being a no-show, Molly’s failed first date then tried calling her repeatedly, which she ignored. He explained that he didn’t actually mean the words he said and attempted to brush it off as harmless joking with a male friend, adding that he makes stupid jokes like this all the time.

He then apologizes to Molly and says that he’ll understand if the courtship is over before it even got off the ground.

Red Flags

Molly texts her date back and says that after the language he used she's not comfortable meeting him anymore and sees it as a red flag.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

Molly texts him back and explains that she’s not comfortable meeting him anymore.

Moreover, she says how inappropriate it is to refer to women using sexist language regardless of whether it’s in a joking manner. She then adds, “I kind of see it as a red flag.”

“God’s Plan”

Molly's date sends her three texts in which he apologies for his behavior and was just innocently joking with his friend Joe, and calls the incident
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

Her date then profusely apologizes claiming that he was “just trying to be funny” with his friend Joe. While he does genuinely apologize for the incident and express remorse, he knows he’s well past the point of reconciling with her.

“I’m sick to my stomach just thinking about it, is it God’s plan I guess,” he writes.

Molly’s Reply

Molly's reply where she says she hopes he'll use the incident as an opportunity to learn.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

Molly texts the man back and says that she accepts his apology and hopes that he’ll at least use the incident as a learning opportunity.

“I was probably way too nice in rejecting him. The social worker in me just wants to help people to learn and grow from their mistakes,” she says. “I probably should’ve just ignored him.”

Disrespectful And Disappointed

Molly's date responds to her apology and says he was excited about meeting her and he disappointed that he blew things.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

After reading through Molly’s acceptance of his apology, the date acknowledges how disrespectful he’d been, even for just using the word in a joking manner with a friend.

He expresses how “disappointed” is he because Molly seemed like a sweet person and he was excited to meet her, coming to the realization that he blew his only chance with her. At least, that’s what she thought.

Persistence

Text conversations where the man apologizes and tries getting a second chance, even texting Molly four months later.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

Disappointed that he blew his opportunity with Molly, the man hopes for another chance, but she shuts him down saying he has some growing up to do instead.

Over the next four months, the man continues to text Molly hoping for a second chance, but that goes probably about as well as you can imagine. Molly says his “persistence” she sees as a “red flag.”

Aren’t Jokes Supposed To Be Funny?

A comment on Molly's TikTok where a woman asks where is the humor in Molly's dates comment supposed to be.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

Molly’s TikTok quickly went viral and soon thousands of users were chiming in with their opinions. Many of them were situated regarding the issue of just how much of a “joke” was the comment that Molly’s date made actually.

Many people asked where is the humor in referring to women with degrading language, while a few other people said that it wasn’t a big deal as the word “c**t” is commonly used in Australia in a joking manner.

Possible Green Flags

Another user response to Molly's TikTok where she defends the first date and how he handled the incident.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

Other people weren’t as harsh on Molly’s date and actually defended him. They said that aside from his incidence of calling her by a derogatory term, his text responses were seen as “green flags”.

“My husband has dry humor like this too and he treats me like royalty. The fact that he apologized and said I understand if it’s over speaks volumes,” one user commented.

A Genuine Apology Or “God’s Plan”?

A user responds to Molly's TikTok saying that she's impressed the man apologized for his rude behavior, but that the bar was incredibly low to begin with.
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

Other users however were pleasantly surprised that Molly’s date actually apologized. But, numerous others were insulted that he used the “it’s God’s plan” excuse to explain away his actions as opposed to taking full responsibility.

“Gods plan = I’d rather take less accountability and attribute my patterns to someone else planning those behaviors,” one user wrote.

Actions, Meet Consequences

TikTok comment: He helped you dodge his own bullet
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok
Photo Credit: @mollyhair / TikTok

But most comments circled around one theme. Not only did Molly dodge a bullet by seeing her date’s true colors but that it also sheds light on how misogynist behavior and degrading “locker room talk” is far more common than people realize.

“Men say the most vile things about women in front of their male friends. I’m glad you responded this way. Hopefully he learned something!” wrote one user.