If You’re Feeling These Things, Maybe You Should Break Up

Being in a relationship with someone is a lot of work, and even the best relationships aren’t going to be perfect. However, that doesn’t mean that you should stay in a relationship that isn’t adding anything to your life. Sometimes relationships aren’t bad, but they aren’t good either, and that’s OK.

There are some things you can think about your relationship and questions you can ask yourself to see if it is time to end things with your current partner.

You Know You’re Settling

woman looking out a window looking sad
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Joshua Rawson-Harris
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Joshua Rawson-Harris

If you know deep down that being in the relationship you’re in is not what you want or what you deserve, then it’s time to say goodbye. You shouldn’t settle—no matter how good of a person your partner is, they just might not be the person for you.

You Don’t Have A Life Outside Your Relationship

woman lying in a bed looking away from the camera
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Annie Spratt
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Annie Spratt

A huge sign that you should probably separate from your relationship is if it is taking up your whole life. Yes, the person you are with should be a huge part of your decisions and your goals, but not the only thing. If your relationship is all-consuming, you need to break free from it.

You’re Stuck In The Past

woman holding the hand of a man as she walks away from him
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Brooke Cagle
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Brooke Cagle

Looking back on how things used to be could be a really strong indicator that the way things are just isn’t doing it for you. The honeymoon phase was always going to end, but if this was a relationship that you were meant to be in, you wouldn’t long for those days, you’d just remember them fondly.

You’re Being Pressured To Change

couple sitting on a bench looking away from one another
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Djim Loic
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Djim Loic

This is something more toxic than just being in a relationship that doesn’t do it for you anymore. If your partner is putting pressure on you to make changes to yourself or your life that don’t feel true to you, ask yourself if the relationship was ever what you thought it was in the first place.

You Feel Lonely Even When You’re With Them

a couple walking along a path in the fog
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Sebastian Pichler
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Sebastian Pichler

It’s normal to feel lonely sometimes—everyone does. However, if you’re in a relationship with someone and you feel like you’re alone or lonely all of the time, it might be time to ask yourself if you feel safe and supported in your current relationship.

There Isn’t A Spark Anymore

woman thinking at a table
Photo Credit: Unsplash / kevin turcios
Photo Credit: Unsplash / kevin turcios

Yes, those crazy first few months of dating aren’t sustainable and you’ll have to go back to real life, but that doesn’t mean the spark between the two of you is going to go out. If you’re in a relationship that is healthy and makes you feel happy, then there should still be that underlying passion there, even if comes out less often.

You Find The Relationship Exhausting

woman looking up at shinning lights
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Tyler Nix
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Tyler Nix

No person is perfect, so yeah, you might find your relationship exhausting sometimes. That doesn’t mean that it’s OK for your relationship to suck the life out of you. There is a big difference between your relationship exhausting you and you being tired sometimes.

Your Relationship With Yourself Has Changed

woman wearing a hat having her picture taken
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Candice Picard
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Candice Picard

People are going to change, yourself included. That’s just part of life. However, if you’re finding that you don’t really recognize yourself anymore because you’ve changed so much to be in your current relationship, that isn’t healthy. You still have to like yourself, and that should matter more than someone else liking you.

You Feel Like You’re Wasting Your Time

couple sitting in a city
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Ayo Ogunseinde
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Ayo Ogunseinde

Feeling like you’ve wasted your time is never a fun feeling. It’s safe to say that if you feel like the person you’re dating is a waste of time, they probably are, and you should dump them for your sake and theirs.

You Feel Guilty For Thinking About Your Needs

couple walking through a field of flowers
Photo Credit: Unsplash / rayul
Photo Credit: Unsplash / rayul

When you love someone, you want them to be happy, and to a lot of people, that means putting their needs before your own. This obviously isn’t healthy, and if you’re finding that you feel guilty about even putting your own needs and wants out there, then your relationship needs to end. That isn’t right.

You Know You’d Be Happier Single

couple holding hands and walking through a parking lot
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Emma Frances Logan
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Emma Frances Logan

OK, this is a big one. If you’re literally sitting there thinking that you would be happier with yourself and your life if you were single, then it is time to be single!

You’re Giving More Than You’re Getting

woman sitting on the side of a garden looking to the side
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Hannah Busing
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Hannah Busing

Relationships aren’t always going to be 50/50, and sometimes you might have to give a little more, and sometimes you might have to take a little more, but the key there is that it ends up being equal in the end. You both give and take and support one another. If you’re the one doing all the giving, it’s time to say bye.

You’re Looking For Fulfillment From Other People

a woman looking to the side with her hands near her face
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Aaron Huber
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Aaron Huber

This one should go without saying, but it’s a fact that a lot of people overlook. If you’re flirting with other people or getting way too into your work crush, then you should probably leave your partner before you do something you’ll regret.

People In Your Life Don’t Support Your Relationship

man looking at woman who is looking away from him
Photo Credit: Unsplash / JD Mason
Photo Credit: Unsplash / JD Mason

No one knows you and your relationship better than you, but there is something to be said about listening to the worries and advice of people in your life who know you well. They’re a little farther removed and might see certain things more clearly.

You Feel Like You Have To Stay With Them

woman with her hair up in a ponytail
Photo Credit: Unsplash / sobhan joodi
Photo Credit: Unsplash / sobhan joodi

You shouldn’t feel like you have to stay with anyone because “it’s the right thing to do.” It might be really hard to break up with someone, and there might not be a reason other than you don’t want to be in that relationship anymore, but those are valid reasons. You don’t have to stay in a place you don’t want to be in.

You Don’t Like Your Partner Anymore

picture of two people wearing shoes
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Jared Sluyter
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Jared Sluyter

You can love someone with all your heart, but there might come a time when you stop liking them. If you find them annoying, if they have bad habits that rub you the wrong way, or you enjoy time spent without them way more than you do with them, it’s safe to say you might not like your man anymore.

You’ve Been “Trying To Make It Work” For A While

couple sitting on some stairs
Photo Credit: Unsplash / JD Mason
Photo Credit: Unsplash / JD Mason

As we said, relationships are work. But there is a difference between working on your relationship and trying to make it work. Making it work means there is something that isn’t working, and if it still isn’t working after you put in your best effort, it’s totally fair to throw in the towel.

You Find Yourself Hiding Things From Your Partner

guy playing a girl a guitar
Photo Credit: Unsplash / angga aditya
Photo Credit: Unsplash / angga aditya

Having secrets is OK. You don’t have to share everything with your partner. But if you don’t want to tell them anything, then maybe you just need to be free to talk to someone else.

You’re Afraid Of Your Partner Judging You

woman standing in a field where it is very sunny
Unsplash / WillSpirit SBLN
Unsplash / WillSpirit SBLN

Your partner should be the last person you fear being judged by. In theory, they know more about you than anyone and are going to be accepting of you and all your flaws. Someone who doesn’t make you feel that way isn’t a person you should be with.

You Find Yourself Being Mean To Them

woman sitting around some palm trees
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Joshua Rawson-Harris
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Joshua Rawson-Harris

Being mean to your partner isn’t something you want to do, and they probably don’t deserve it. If you’re feeling the need to be mean to them, then they’re probably getting on your nerves in a way that means you shouldn’t be together.