I feel like at one point or another when we’ve run into an ex or seen an ex on social media, we’ve all thought “I dodged a bullet with that one.”
It’s important to know that you should probably just stay single (even though it sucks sometimes) until you meet the right man, or woman, who has some of the qualities below.
It Must Be Said
If you’re looking to be in a relationship, it’s okay to want to be a little bit picky, because it’s important to recognize that some people are just straight-up horrible.
Although everyone has different traits that they value in a partner, below are some pretty important ones that you should keep in mind.
They Listen To You
Let me just say that having a boo who actually listens to you is one of the sexiest things EVER.
If you had a long day, it’s always nice to vent to your partner as they listen to your rant, and vice versa.
They Don’t Constantly Try To “One-Up” You.
People who are obsessed with one-upping you are THE WORST. Living your life like everything’s a competition is just straight-up lame.
It’s like when you tell someone that you worked out today and they go “Yeah? Well I worked out FIVE times today.”
They Don’t Let Feelings Fester Inside
We all know that communication is KEY. If your man (or woman) just lets everything bubble up inside, they’re not open to working as a team.
They should be willing to speak up when something is bothering them so you can tackle the issue together and avoid intense outbursts of anger.
They Give Without Expectation Of Anything In Return
Your partner should be selfless enough to surprise you with simple acts of kindness without an ulterior motive.
If you have ever been on a date with a guy (or girl) who expects sex after buying you dinner, you know what I mean.
Loving All Of You For YOU
Can we say this one louder for the people in the back?! Nobody is perfect.
Your partner should love you for you, even the flawed parts, so it might be a good idea to stop seeing someone if they’re trying to make you into someone that you aren’t.
They Know When To Put The Phone Down
Your partner should want to be with you in the present, and if they’re always on their phone, this is a total red flag.
Who wants a life with a person who can’t appreciate the simple act of looking into your eyes, basking in your presence, and enjoying the silence?
Build Me Up, Buttercup
The person you are dating should never make you feel inferior, unaccepted, or not “good enough.”
Yes, they should encourage you to improve yourself, but they should do that by building you up, not tearing you down.
The Importance Of Mutual Empathy
If you’re struggling with something and your partner doesn’t seem to care and doesn’t want to care, this is not a good sign.
Empathy isn’t about trying to fix all of your partner’s concerns and problems, but about being able to be there for them when they need you!
We all have our limits, and boundaries are a necessary characteristic of a healthy relationship.
You and your partner are not physically joined at the hip, and it’s important to remember that you are two separate people with separate needs.
They’re Okay With The Occasional Night In
This one is for all of the social butterflies out there. Spontaneous date nights, adventures, and nights out are great, but it’s also nice to have a night in once in a while.
But your partner shouldn’t feel like you always have to be doing something in order to enjoy your time together, and if they aren’t down for an occasional Nextflix and Chill night.
They Aren’t Resistant To Change
A dude that I dated once would resist change every chance that he got. He was too comfortable in his current life and didn’t look for any new opportunities.
Moral of the story: you shouldn’t settle down with a rigid partner who is so afraid of change that they won’t make ANY sacrifices in their life for you.
They Are Willing To Make Compromises
In a relationship, sometimes two people need to just suck it up and come to a happy medium.
You don’t need to be with a person who is a total pushover, but it’s always nice to be with someone who is willing to make compromises for you.
They Remain Faithful To You
Unless you’re both open to inviting other people into your relationship (if you know what I mean), your partner needs to be faithful to you and only YOU.
Forgiving your partner after a fight is vital, but this is one area where you might only want to give a person a single chance.
Don’t hate, appreciate. It’s good to regularly remind yourself how lucky you are and how valuable your partner is, and tell them that.
This way, you will boost the happiness of your relationship while also receiving compliments! It’s a win, win.
They Are Willing To Confront Their Demons
We’ve all been through some stuff, and some people more than others.
Your partner might have a few skeletons in their closet, and that’s okay, but they should be willing to confront their obstacles and be honest with you about their past.
They Trust You
Coming from someone who has MAJOR trust issues, trusting someone is easier said than done.
Yet, if you want a relationship to work, you will both have to learn trust at the emotional, physical, and spiritual level.
They Make You Laugh And Can Let Loose
Let me throw some science at you, because there is growing evidence to suggest that one of the secrets to a long and happy relationship is to laugh together often.
Dating someone who is serious all the time can have a negative effect on your bond with one another.
You Feel Relaxed Around Them
You shouldn’t feel the need to always be “on” around your partner. Instead, you should just be yourself!
It’s good to be comfortable crying in front of them or having quiet moments (even if you’re an ugly crier).
Always Remember: You Are Worthy
You are worthy of a great relationship with someone who treats you right, and your time WILL come!
Don’t ever feel like you have to stay with someone who is treating you badly, because there are tons of fish in the sea.