Signs You’re Destined To Be Single For Life
There aren't many people who plan on being single for life.
Sometimes, you get out of a relationship, look up 10 years later, and realize you're still single. Eventually, you start to notice this is more than a trend and could be a forever thing.
Here are some helpful hints you're bound to be single your whole life.
Your Mom's Love Life Thrives More Than Yours
By this point in your life, if your mom still sees more action than you, it doesn't look so good for you.
Even if she's not a regular mom—she's a cool mom.
Your Appearance Doesn't Matter To You
You forgot how to use a razor, and your hair doesn't see a comb but once a week.
This isn't the life you planned, but you're here now, and you don't mind.
You Yell "Dinner's Here" To An Empty House
Maybe it's something your subconscious wants you to do, but you're only wasting your breath.
I can't say for sure, but maybe one day that might change, so keep your head up and see what happens.
Texting Is Sad
Unfortunately, your inbox is drier than eating a Popeye's biscuit with no drink.
No one interested in you has texted you since your college days, and you've forgotten how to flirt.
You Spend Your Nights With Greasy Food And Netflix
You don't plan for your nights to go down that way, but that's how it goes.
By 8:00 p.m., you're in bed with Netflix ready to play the latest episode of that new show you discovered.
Only The Local Barista Knows What You Want
The only person who knows what you want is the barista at the local Starbucks.
As sad as it sounds, that's how you like it, and you aren't ashamed of it.
Nights Out Always End The Same
No matter how exciting the night is at the start, it always ends the same way.
You go home alone, staring into space, wondering if you'll ever find someone as you eat your night cheese.
Singles Mixers Look More Appealing
Now, more than ever, you can't wait until the next singles mixer.
You swore off of these when you were younger, but now, they look like your best shot at love.
Valentine's Day Is Just Another Day
You might buy yourself some flowers, but other than that, you could not care less about Valentine's Day.
It isn't a holiday for you and hasn't been for years, so why bother now?
Eating Alone Is Your Favorite Thing
Why let anyone bother you when you eat? That's the philosophy you've had for years now, and you don't plan on changing it anytime soon.
That's what being single has done for you.
Your Pets Are Your Children
Who has the chance to settle down and start a family?
No, you adopt a dog and call him your fur-baby, and that's all you need for fulfillment in this life.
You Know Everyone's Name In The Meals For One Aisle
You pretty much live in the "meals for one aisle" because of your lifestyle, and for that reason.
You know all the others who visit that frozen wasteland as well.
You Can't Get Any Love From Anybody
You're so single, even the kids reject you for an innocent kiss.
You've hit a new low in your path to singleness forever, but now, nothing can stop you on this journey.
You're The Designated Pet Holder For Family Pics
While everyone else has their significant others, you get to hold the cat, Bob.
It doesn't bother you at all, but you wish your siblings would stop teasing you about it.
You'll Do Anything For The Touch Of Another Person
When I say anything, I mean anything.
If there's a mannequin that looks like one of your friends, you probably won't hesitate to ask the store owner if you can have it.
What Is Flirting?
Flirting isn't a thing to you anymore. You forgot how to do it, and when you attempt, you make yourself look more foolish than before.
You're better off giving them the silent treatment.
You Have No Interest In Shaving Anything Anymore
If someone asked you on a date, you would have to shave like this picture.
Shaving cream all over and you start from the top and make your way down indiscriminately.
The Last Few People You Dated Are Now Married
You scroll down your Instagram feed and you see that every last person you dated is now in a serious relationship or married.
You feel like you have officially missed out on that kind of love for good.
You Get Placed At The Singles' Table
Whenever there's a formal event like a family dinner or weddings, since you don't have a date, you probably end up sitting at a kids' or the singles' table.
People already assign you there because you never bring a date.
You've Deleted All Dating Apps
You've entirely given up on actively searching for a partner; you're disinterested spending time in filtering through hundreds of potential partners.
You don't care to put in the effort anymore—if you meet someone the organic way, that's fine.
Comfort > Fashion Almost Always
While you'll still put on your best clothes from time to time, you'll go out in sneakers or comfortable and functional shoes before cramming your feet into heels.
You don't really care to impress anyway.
You Don't Even Consider Marriage As A Major Life Goal Anymore
When you were younger. you put marriage as one of your major life goals alongside career accomplishments and travel aspirations.
Now, you could get married, but you also feel that you would be perfectly fulfilled without it.
Your Friends Have Given Up On Setting You Up
Your friends used to go out of their way to set you up with their other friends or any cool guy they meet.
They have since totally given up the practice.
The Idea Of Changing Your Life Plans For Someone Else Sickens You
You have an idea of what you want to accomplish in your life: perhaps you'll live abroad, you're going to work at a certain career level, or you're getting a dog.
Either way, you'd never give up your life plans just to fit in with someone else's.
You Can't Imagine Sharing A Bed For The Rest Of Your Life
You've been sleeping in the middle of your own bed too long to start staying on one side. Sure, every once in a while is fine, but you can't imagine having to sleep next to a snoring, twitching partner every night for the rest of your life.
Even if you do get married, you want separate bedrooms.
You Can't Help But Criticize Rom-Coms
When you were younger, you looked at rom-coms with wide-eyed adoration despite the fact you thought they were a little silly.
Now, you can't keep the critical comments from leaving your mouth.
Going On Dates Feels Like A Chore
Going on dates really feels like something you just have to check off the to-do list.
You go, you come home after, and often, the idea of setting a second date up just seems like too much work.
Every Night Out Is A Girls' Night Out
Sure, in your early 20s, you loved to go out with the slight hope of meeting a new guy or two.
Now, you're really just going out to dance and have drinks with your girlies and have no interest in being approached by men.
Aunt Tanya From Mamma Mia! Is Goals
Sure Aunt Tanya from Mamma Mia! was married a few times, but she secured the bag in alimony and now spends her days wearing fashionable clothes and maintaining an expensive skincare routine, which is all I want in life.
She is the definition of goals.
You've Accepted That You'll Die Alone
It isn't easy coming to this realization, but it's better for you when you do.
At this stage, something good could still happen, but you aren't banking on it anymore.
You Refuse To Give New People A Chance
Letting new people into your life seems like a lot of work. Is it worth it?
Based on experience, it doesn't seem to be worth it to let new people around. No one is ever interesting enough.
You Refuse To Settle
You think that any relationship you find yourself in will require you to settle to a certain extent, and you're just not going to do that.
Are you dating the wrong guys? Or, is it that your standards are just too high? Does it matter? The result is the same.
You're Not Really Down To Try New Things
New things? I don't know her. Trying new things would mean that you aren't going to be doing the things you already know you like doing.
Why put yourself through change when you don't need to?
You Go Into Every Date Knowing It Will Suck
You never give any dates the chance to be good. You write them off before they start.
Because you assume you're going to be alone forever and that no one will meet your standards, you know in your gut that every date will be a disaster.
You Might Be Stuck On An Ex
It's tricky to make peace with the fact that we might still be stuck on an ex.
Most of us have that one person who pretty much ruined us for life.
Being The Third Wheel Doesn't Bother You
You actually like being the third wheel with your friends that are in a relationship.
They don't make you feel weird about being single, and they don't try and push you to date anymore. They know better.
You're Not A Fan Of Sharing
What is yours is yours. It's as simple as that. You don't want to have to share anything with anyone.
It's admirable to admit that because not a lot of us have the guts to say we feel the same.
One Person Forever Sounds Like A Trap
Imagine being with one person for the rest of your life? Well, yeah, a lot of us do imagine that.
You're not that person, though. The thought of one person forever feels suffocating.
The Only Thing You're Committed To Is Netflix
The only thing in your life you're comfortable being in a committed relationship with is your favorite show on TV.
There is no shame in that. At least you and your shows know where you stand.
You Google "Am I Going To Be Single Forever?"
There is a good chance that you're going to be single forever if you're googling "am I going to be single forever?"
We all probably know the answer to that question.
