Signs Your Ex Wants Back In Your Life (And Should You Let Them?)

There are some relationships that, when they’re over, they are really over; however, some exes could make you reconsider the choice to end things. Every once in a while, an ex will make an effort to get back into your life, even if it’s not such a great idea for either of you.

These are signs that your ex is trying to get back together with you and some questions you should ask before letting them into your life again.

He Mentions That He Likes How You’ve Changed

back of woman's head in foreground with man facing her in background
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Charles Deluvio
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Charles Deluvio

It can be something as simple as a minor appearance change, like a haircut, or it can be about how you seem more sure of yourself, you’re so ambitious, etc.

He’s Liking Your Old Social Media Posts

phone with paper red notification icons around it
Photo Credit: Pexels / Cristian Dina
Photo Credit: Pexels / Cristian Dina

You suddenly see notifications popping up from him liking old posts of yours or commenting on them. He knows it’s an irregular behavior and he’s doing it to get your attention again.

He Brings Up A “Remember When…” With You

man looking at phone screen
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio
Photo Credit: Pexels / Andrea Piacquadio

It comes out of nowhere, but he’ll bring up a weird story about something that happened while you were together, like getting caught in a freak storm, and then claim something reminded him of it. That might be true, but he wouldn’t be telling you about it if he didn’t have an agenda.

He Starts Asking About Your Life Out Of The Blue

man and woman talking over cup of coffee
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Christin Hume
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Christin Hume

Suddenly, he wants to know what’s going on in your life: have you changed jobs? How’s your mom doing? Did you end up going to Europe last month as planned? It’s especially telling if you haven’t talked to each other since the breakup.

He’s Everywhere You Go All The Time

silhouettes of people standing at bar
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Alexander Popov
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Alexander Popov

Sure, you’re bound to run into each other again if you live in the same city, but suddenly he seems to haunt every single place you used to go to together.

He Overshares About His Love Life

two hands together making a heart
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Saiph Muhammad
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Saiph Muhammad

Maybe he’ll talk about someone he saw for a bit before talking to you again or he’ll mention how dating around is going. He might be trying to make you jealous or, alternatively, imply that nothing has compared to you.

He Asks You For Help On Things He Could Ask Someone Else For

text message
Photo Credit: This Is Why I’m Single
Photo Credit: This Is Why I’m Single

Sometimes you can only ask one specific person for help with something, but that’s often not the case. If he’s reaching out for help on something he could easily ask someone else for, he’s looking to get back into your life.

He Reignites An Old Inside Joke Out Of Nowhere

woman and man laughing together
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro
Photo Credit: Pexels / cottonbro

Maybe he sees a meme that relates to an old joke you had and sends it to you even though you haven’t spoken to him in a while. You might interpret it as being friendly, but he could have different motives.

He’s Constantly Offering His Help

hiveboxx-mYxzG5NwDNs-unsplash
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Hiveboxx
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Hiveboxx

You post an Instagram story about your impending move to a different apartment building and suddenly he has a truck that he can help you move with. Through being helpful, he’s trying to get back in your good books.

He Asks To “Catch Up”

people with coffe mugs touching with hands
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jonathan J. Castellon
Photo Credit: Pexels / Jonathan J. Castellon

It’s something simple—half an hour talking over a cup of coffee or maybe a drink. It seems innocent enough, but why is he really reaching out? And why now, after you’ve been out of contact for months? It’s likely he’s trying to sneak back into your life.

He Voices Negative Opinions About Your Current Relationship

man's face illuminated red by neon lights
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Chester Wade
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Chester Wade

Since the breakup, you’ve started seeing someone else, and your ex has a lot to say about it. It could be something as simple as making fun of your new man’s mannerisms or as intense as him saying that you should break up with the guy.

Should You Give Him A Second Chance?

woman looking pensive while sitting on bleachers
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Anthony Tran
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Anthony Tran

When an ex starts making efforts to get back into your life, it’s hard to know if you should let them. After all, you did have some good moments, right? Below are some questions you need to ask yourself.

Has He Shown Any Changes?

silhouette of man walking on road
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Warren Wong
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Warren Wong

If you broke up due to his behaviors or values, has he changed at all? Do you see any clear signs that he’s worked to improve himself, or is he still the same person?

Why Did Things End The First Time?

man and woman arguing in park
Photo Credit: Pexels / Vera Arsic
Photo Credit: Pexels / Vera Arsic

There are many reasons a relationship can end, but the ending is a key sign as to whether or not you should give him another shot. Did things end because you weren’t working together or you were being mistreated? Then no, let him go. However, a more amicable ending could mean there’s hope for a future.

Are The Circumstances Better For Your Relationship?

legs of man and woman sitting together dangle over ledge
Photo Credit: Pexels / Durong Nhân
Photo Credit: Pexels / Durong Nhân

Did you break up because of work/distance/family matters getting between you? If the reason behind your breakup was poor circumstances or issues that no longer exist, getting back together could be a palatable option.

Is He Sincere?

heart is partially covered by a shadow
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Nick Fewings
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Nick Fewings

Does he really miss you and want you back in his life? Is he actually sorry about how things went down in the past? You have to look beyond the words and see if he genuinely means them.

Has He Just Been Lonely?

man stands against wall in dark alleyway
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Warren Wong
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Warren Wong

After a breakup, it’s natural to feel lonely. Sometimes, people will go back to an old, failed relationship just to stave off feelings of isolation even though, in the long run, it’s a bad idea.

Have You Just Been Lonely?

woman sitting in field of wildflowers facing away from camera
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Edu Grande
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Edu Grande

Do you really think that your ex-boyfriend might be a good match for you, or have you just been feeling pretty alone lately? It’s easy to accept someone back into your life when you’re lonely, but it’s not always a great idea.

Will This Relationship Hinder Or Help Your Growth?

man and woman sitting face to face with bodies going in separate directions
Photo Credit: Unsplash / David Kokainis
Photo Credit: Unsplash / David Kokainis

A long-term relationship with a partner should help you grow in many aspects of your life. If you think that getting back together with your ex will halt or undo the personal progress you’ve made while single, then he’s not the one.

You Broke Up For A Reason…

woman looking up at man sitting and playing guitar
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Toa Heftiba
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Toa Heftiba

All in all, breakups happen for a reason, so you truly need to consider if you can overcome your previous issues in your relationship. If you can’t let go of or grow from the past, then maybe your relationship should stay a part of it.