Signs That There’s Another Woman In His Life
Everything was going great, then all of a sudden, your crush or boyfriend starts getting more distant and you're feeling the need to put in 10 times more effort only for them to get annoyed.
These are all signs that the person you have eyes for has eyes for someone else. If your gut feeling is telling you something is off, check out these signs to see if you're right.
The Calls And Texts Have Become Less And Less Frequent
Remember the days of the "good morning" and "goodnight" texts? While it's normal for the number of texts to diminish after the courting stages, you can't help but always want to hear from and talk to the person you have feelings for.
If you're receiving fewer and fewer texts, it may indicate that it's because your partner's time is going into sending them to someone else.
They Keep Bringing Up Another Person
A person can't help but think about and want to talk about a person they are interested in.
If you notice your crush constantly keeps referring to their coworker Nicole and how nice she is, even if they aren't inadvertently admitting interest, it shows where their mind is.
They Look Bored Around You
If your partner looks like there's someplace they'd rather be, it might be because there is.
The way they act around you speaks volumes because when you like someone, you can't wait to be around them and want to spend as much as possible with them.
They Become Less Giving
It is not uncommon for people to give and receive gifts during the courtship stages just because something in the window made them think of that person.
Relationship experts say that that the amount of money partners spend on one another tends to remain steady during relationships, so be careful if it drops.
They Avoid Inviting You To Social Gatherings
If your lover stops wanting to take you out with them, it's a sign they're looking to detach from you.
Either they don't want people seeing you as a couple anymore, or they are hoping to see someone there without feeling guilty.
They Start Picking Fights For No Good Reason
If your partner starts catching feelings for someone else, they may begin to feel trapped and resentful towards your relationship.
This will cause them to act out by picking fights or threatening to leave over little things in an attempt to end the relationship without making it their fault.
They Stop Holding Eye Contact
A person in love gazes in their lover's eyes for a longer period of time and their pupils dilate.
Avoiding eye contact, on the other hand, shows either disinterest or even guilt due to their emotional affair.
He Stops Getting Upset With You
A commonly missed sign is a partner's sudden stance on issues. If your partner stops getting upset with you about topics that he usually would, it could be a sign that he simply stopped caring and has checked out.
Some people might even see this as things getting better at first.
They Become More Protective Of Their Phones
If your partner suddenly adds a password to their phone when there was never one there before, they might be trying to hide something.
This also applies if they suddenly start taking calls in other rooms or texting when you're not looking.
They Unintentionally Physically Gravitate Towards Someone Else
Although your partner might just be a natural flirt, subtle physical touch, such as placing a hand on the lower back, are natural indicators of attraction.
Your partner might not be able to help feeling comfortable or to gravitate towards the person they are falling for.
Conversations Have Gotten More And More Mundane
Beware if conversations with your partner suddenly become more superficial. Two people in love tend to confide in one another almost constantly. Although, if you spend time a lot of together, it's natural to run out of things to talk about every once in a while.
If your partner suddenly shuts you out from their thoughts and emotions, it might be their attempt of detaching.
The Relationship Is Becoming Hard Work
If your relationship is starting to feel forced, it might be because one of you has checked out and feels no need to put in the effort anymore.
If affection and conversations are hard work, take it as a sign that something is off.
They Start Bailing On Your Plans
Agreeing to make plans is good, but if they're constantly bailing on those plans anyway, it's a sign they're only agreeing to them in the first place out of a sense of duty.
When someone cares, they make time in their busy schedule and even go to things they're not necessarily interested in if it means spending time with you.
They Have All Kinds Of Excuses To Not Make Plans
If your partner won't even agree to make any plans with you and starts to find an excuse to refuse your every suggestion because "it's too expensive" or they're "starting a new diet," it's because they want to avoid spending more time with you.
If they wanted to, they would make the time and take the leap of faith for you.
They're Suddenly Always Busy
If your partner suddenly has three meetings, laundry, and friends over every time you try to see them or talk to them, they just feel no desire or interest in being around you.
This might be because they want more time with someone else or because they don't know how to end their relationship with you without hurting you.
They Are Always On Defense Mode
If your partner starts to get defensive about everything from eating the last banana to who they're texting, it's because they are going through an internal struggle.
Perhaps they don't want to leave you but can't fight their feelings for someone new, and their conscience is weighing on them.
They Don't Get Jealous Anymore
Although constant jealousy is not healthy, a little bit of jealousy can make a person feel desired and protected.
If your partner suddenly stopped caring if another person flirts with you or shows you extra attention, it may be because they're doing the same towards someone else.
They Stop Being Affectionate Towards You
Humans communicate through physical touch with people they have feelings for. It's biological when you're attracted to someone.
If your partner shows annoyance when you try to cuddle up to them, it may be a sign that they have lost feelings for you and are attempting to friendzone you.
Their Phone Is Always Blowing Up
If it feels like every time you're together, their phone is going off, they might be talking to someone else.
This is more evident if they are anxiously checking it and can't help but respond right away even though you're sitting right there.
Your Instincts Tell You Something Is Off
The best piece of advice when suspecting that your partner is into someone else is to trust your gut.
Your instincts are the biggest sign to look for, as your feelings may be clouding your logic and judgment, but your instincts will be always honest with you.
He Refuses To Invite A Specific Woman Anywhere
He knows how well you know him and he's afraid that you'll pick up on the signs if you see him around the woman that's been occupying his mind.
That's not a risk he wants to take so he'd rather avoid her altogether when you're around, even if her presence makes sense.
They Start Giving You Random Extravagant Gifts
If they're already in a relationship with you and care about you on a certain level then they're likely to feel guilty about the feelings they have for someone else.
Sometimes they will try to get rid of that guilt or mask it by giving you extravagant gifts. That way you don't expect anything and stay happy for a while longer.
They Stop Looking You In The Eye
Another sign they're hiding something and feel guilty is if they always avoid making direct contact with you and often look at the floor instead when they talk to you.
Their feelings for someone else are weighing on them.
They Care A Little More About Their Appearance
They traded in their trademark sweatpants and V-necks to plaid button-ups and nice jeans all of a sudden. It kind of even looks familiar.
This is the way they dressed when you two first met before you got comfortable. That could be a sign he's starting to see someone else.
They Compare You To Other Women
Why can't you grow your hair or cook the steak exactly the way he likes and why does any of that matter suddenly.
First off, they should never be trying to change you, but if he's constantly comparing you to other women, it could be that he's confirming to himself that that's why he's unsatisfied with you and into someone else.
They Can't Help Repeating Stories About One Specific Person
When you like someone, naturally they're on your mind a lot, so you can't help but only think of stories in which they're involved.
If all their stories include the same friend or coworker, it could be because they're giving that person special attention.
They Take Up A Random New Hobby
If they're into painting out of the blue when you've been trying to convince them to go to wine and paint date night for the last year and they said it wasn't their thing, it could be that they're trying to impress someone else and find common ground with them.
Sure, they could get a sudden burst of inspiration, but that had to come from somewhere.
They Start To Smell Different
You can rely on your physical senses to pick up on cues that might indicate there is someone else in their life. Once you're around someone for long enough you begin to recognize their smell, and often your smell will rub off on them.
If that smell all of a sudden changes, it might be tinted with someone else's perfume.
They're Constantly On Edge
Their mind is all over the place. A part of them is still present with you and a part of them is drifting towards someone else.
The stress from the conflict is likely to leave them on edge and easily agitated about things they normally wouldn't get mad about.
They Break Up With You Out Of The Blue
If you thought everything is going well and they break up with you for no good reason and no explanation, often it's due to their feelings changing for you and them being too afraid to tell you that they've developed them for someone else.
You can't always explain your feelings.
How To Handle It
The first thing you want to do to calm down your suspicions is actually confront your partner. This is the only way you'll get full confirmation.
The conversation will go one of two ways. Either they'll deny it and you can either take their word for it or walk away. Or they'll confirm it, in which case we have some tips.
Ask Them If They're Willing To Let The Other Person Go
If this is someone you love, you'll naturally hope that you can work through the issue. You must first acknowledge that nothing will get resolved for as long as they haven't cut the other woman off and made you a priority.
Otherwise, they may be tempted to fall back and the cycle will start back up again.
Remember That You're Not To Blame
Your brain will start racing because it always seeks to explain what it doesn't understand. Often, the reasons that someone you love betrays your loyalty have nothing to do with you. They often can't explain it themselves.
There's nothing you could've done differently to prevent them from looking elsewhere. You didn't deserve it.
Put Yourself First
Even if you want to work on it, they're the ones at fault. That means that you should only do what feels good to you. If you need to take space, don't let them talk you out of it.
They'll need to earn your trust back, and it's up to you how they can do that.
Determine If It's Worth Forgiving Them
Love is not a good enough reason to forgive and stay with someone. Look back on your relationship and ask yourself if you were truly happy or if you stayed because you were comfortable.
There may be someone else better for you out there. Someone who wouldn't even fathom looking at another woman.
Determine If There Were Root Issues
Despite you having no reason to blame yourself, relationship issues are often correlated to each other, and all point back to a major root issue. That issue can be unique to one person's insecurities or past trauma.
Perhaps one of you has trust or abandonment issues. Knowing this will be helpful in moving forward.
Take A Minute To Keep Your Cool
As tempting as it is to speak out of emotion in the heat of the moment, this usually leads to defensive reactions and saying things you don't mean.
Upon getting confirmation, take a minute with yourself to determine what it is that you want to do and say next. You might simply need a conversation for closure.
Don't Let Fear Rule You
Don't let fear make the decision for you on whether you want to forgive or leave. It’s not a good idea to stay with someone because you're scared to be single, to lose them, or to start a new life.
We're all naturally afraid of change, but we also adapt very quickly. You'll surprise yourself.
Seek Out A Support System
You don't have to deal with this alone. There's nothing to be embarrassed about and no one should blame you or make you feel less for it.
Your loved ones will be able to help make sense of your thoughts and give you a much-needed outside perspective.
Walk Away
It's a hard pill to swallow, but often in these types of situations, it's best to just walk away. There's no way to guarantee that it won't be a pattern, especially if they're not willing to work through the root issue.
While we're all human and make mistakes, you deserve to be with someone who wouldn't betray your trust in the first place.
