Signs That Someone Is Secretly Attracted To You, According To Psychology

We’ve all been there before. You’re out on a date with someone new and as you fiddle with your hair, your heart beats a million miles a minute, and you’re already imagining what your wedding day will look like. Hold up there cowgirl! You might be crushing hard, but how do you know if he also likes you back?

Human behavior is a microcosm of utter confusion, but here are a number of clues that the person you’re crushing on might also secretly like you back.

A Sense Of Humor

A couple laughing
Photo Credit: Sarah Noltner / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Sarah Noltner / Unsplash

Are you chatting up a woman at a bar and is she laughing at your jokes even though they’re not John Mulaney-quality? Well, it might be a sign she likes you.

A study revealed that out of 101 possible attraction tactics, displaying a good sense of humor was the most effective method. The study had this final piece of advice, “‘Remember this: You want to make women laugh. If you can make a woman laugh . . . she’ll want to see you again.’”

Subconscious Body Language

A couple with their feet pointed towards each other
Photo Credit: Hannah Jacobson / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Hannah Jacobson / Unsplash

In The Little Mermaid, Ariel trades her voice to Ursula so she can become human, but is unsure how she’ll get Prince Eric’s attention if she can’t speak. Ursula exclaims, “don’t underestimate the importance of ‘body language. Ha!’” When it comes to love, the Sea Witch was right.

Your feet — and torso for that matter — point in the direction that they want to go. Likewise, if someone is leaning in towards you, tilting their head, or even if their legs are crossed, it could be a sign that they’re trying to get close, show off their body, and are attracted to you.

Based In Biology

Smiling woman in red
Photo Credit: Michael Dam / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Michael Dam / Unsplash

When we’re attracted to someone, blood floods our cheeks causing them to get warm and we can feel ourselves blushing.

If you’ve ever been embarrassed by an inopportune blush, you can thank biology. According to The Huffington Post, it’s because it’s mimicking an orgasm, and blushing makes us more attractive to the opposite sex. It’s why women tend to wear blush and dress in red.

I Can’t Stop Smiling When I’m With You

Man and woman smile at each other
Photo Credit: Gama. Films / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Gama. Films / Unsplash

Like breathing and blinking, smiling is also an instinctual behavior, and if someone smiles at you, that tends to be a good sign.

In one study, a female assistant went to a local bar and either made eye contact and smiled for two seconds at a man seated alone or, make eye contact only, without smiling, at a man seated alone. When the woman smiled, 22 percent of men approached her, compared to only 4 percent.

Mirroring

Man looks at himself in a reflection
Photo Credit: Laurenz Kleinheider / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Laurenz Kleinheider / Unsplash

There’s a saying that says imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. When it comes to attraction, this is true. Whether intentional or unintentional, people who like each other tend to mirror one another’s behavior in order to build rapport and develop a bond.

“At some later point in the encounter, change your body position. If the other person mirrors you within several seconds, they probably like you,” according to Psychology Today.

Talk Dirty — I Mean Nerdy — To Me

A woman whispers in the ear of another woman
Photo Credit: Ben White / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Ben White / Unsplash

It’s not just our bodies that mimic people to who we’re attracted but also our voices.

Called “phonetic convergence”, it’s basically where we alter our voices so that they mirror that of the person we’re attracted to. These include changes to our pitch, word choice, and how fast we’re talking. Interestingly enough, this behavior is often subconscious.

It’s All In The Eyes

Close up image of someone with blue eyes
Photo Credit: Victor Freitas / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Victor Freitas / Unsplash

You’ve heard the saying before that “eyes are the window to the soul.” Well, it turns out that when it comes to love, there’s actually some truth to it.

We look at people we like and avoid eye contact with people we don’t. According to Healthline, the longer you engage in mutual eye contact with someone, the stronger your feelings of love and affection are. Likewise, the “love hormones” oxytocin and dopamine increase pupil dilation, and our pupils dilate when looking at someone we’re attracted to.

Lightly Touching

Woman puts her hand on a mans
Photo Credit: Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash

It’s no secret: people are social creatures and crave physical contact.

So if a woman places her hand on your arm or even takes the liberty of straightening out your tie, it’s a sign that she likes you. Whereas if you touch someone and they pull away from you, it could be a sign they’re not interested.

Playing With Their Hair

Woman plays with her hair
Photo Credit: Courtney Cook / Unsplash
Photo Credit: Courtney Cook / Unsplash

There’s a scene in Brooklyn Nine-Nine where Rosa tells Jake that his crush Amy shows that she’s romantically interested in someone by playing with her hair and tucking it behind both ears at the same time.

Women tend to play with their hair or even another nearby object when they’re with someone they’re attracted to.

Teasing

Man playfully teases a woman
Photo by Linas Drulia / Unsplash
Photo by Linas Drulia / Unsplash

You know the saying, boys tend to pick on the girls that they have a crush on. This one comes with a caveat — while teasing can often be a sign of affection, there’s a difference between a joking tease and bullying.

“If a man teases or makes fun of you that is a sign that he is completely comfortable around you,” and that he’s clued in on “what you would be secure and insecure about,” according to The Today Show.