People can be sneaky and pull a fast one right under your nose. For women, a man can string them along, making them believe she's the one for him, and all the while, no one knows he's even with her!
Men have ways of keeping relationships a secret, and you could be in one of them if any of these signs apply to you.
He Doesn't Enjoy Hanging Out In Public
Even if he claims he's more of a homebody, you two should have at least gone out together more than once. If you can count on one hand how many times you've been out with him, that's a red flag.
His Friends Have No Clue Who You Are
If his friends don't know about you, you might as well be "girl from Tinder," in his contacts. The people he talks to most should know your name at the very least.
He Has A Way Of Exaggerating Stories
People who stretch the truth for the sake of a better reaction don't have a filter. If he lies about something that simple, he won't hesitate to act like he doesn't know how to label your situation.
Hesitant To Take Pictures Together
What if you post them on your social media? What if someone he knows sees the picture? These are the thoughts of someone who might have your "relationship" under wraps. He'll take the picture, but it won't be that easy.
Haven't Seen The Inside Of His House
While there are tons of reasons that would make this acceptable, you have to pay attention to how weird he acts if you bring up going to his place. If there isn't a clear reason as to why you can't go to his home, he could be hiding something.
He Gets Plenty Of Flirtatious Comments On Social Media
If you're dating the hottest guy in your city, you might have to live with comments. In any other situation, that energy only exists if he allows it. If he's told everyone he's with you, people wouldn't flirt in his comments because they'd know better than to breach a relationship publically.
He Sometimes Gets Too Personal
If he overshares too much, that could be a tactic that he's using to hide the fact he's keeping you two a secret. He thinks it will make you not question things and believe he's really invested.
He Doesn't Like When You Bring Him Up To Your Friends
Usually, guys want to be on your friends' good side, so they would want you to talk to your friends about them. Take this as a sign if he despises your chat with your BFF about his doings.
Hasn't Deleted Pictures Of His Ex
Why hasn't he deleted them yet? He could be hoping to get back with her, which isn't good for you. If that's the case, there would be no point for him to make your relationship a matter of public knowledge.
He Doesn't Want To Give Things A Label
Not only is he unsure about making things serious if he doesn't want to put a label on it, but he's also keeping the details to himself. The way he treats you will help you determine if this is the case.
Lying Doesn't Bother Him
For starters, no one should stay with anyone who has no issue telling "white lies." If you notice he likes doing that, telling bigger lies or keeping things to himself is a walk in the park.
He Doesn't Mention His Family
Why should he mention his family if he hasn't brought you up to them? Maybe to satisfy you, but unless you ask directly, he probably won't talk about them at all.
He Has Tons Of Strange Excuses
Being busy and having a valid reason for it is okay, but if he's doing something that you can't understand for the life of you, something could be up. Trust your gut on this.
Heavy On The Defense
Does he get easily defensive when you confront him about certain things? Have you had this suspicion all along, but now it's starting to make sense? He might not be as invested as you thought.
He Blames A Lot On Her
Instead of owning up to mistakes or figuring out the real issue, his default is to blame her for everything. It's an easy way to bail himself out of anything he could be doing wrong.
He Prefers Talking Through Text
I wonder why he doesn't want to FaceTime or have a talk over the phone? Texting is the easiest form of communication and also one where he can control the narrative. As far as anyone else knows, he could be texting anyone.
He's Often Paranoid
Did your phone just vibrate and he immediately asked if that was his? Does he passively accuse of you being dishonest? Those are usually the signs of someone feeling guilty and keeping a secret.
He Doesn't Want You Posting Anything
It's common to want to post about your new relationship so the world can see how happy you are with your new person. If he expresses that he doesn't want you to post him, he wants it hidden.
Up And Down Behavior
One moment he might act like you're the love of his life. Next thing you know, he's distant and anxious over something. There could be something going on he doesn't feel comfortable sharing, but don't hold your breath if this behavioral change comes when you bring up relationship talk.
He Bails With No Excuse
You two had a marvelous evening planned, but he doesn't show up. He doesn't even give you a simple text with a bogus excuse. Not having a legit reason for canceling shows he doesn't value you as much as someone should.
He Introduces You As A Friend
Say you're walking through a store together and he runs into someone that he knows: when he goes to introduce you, he refers to you as a "friend" or another platonic term that doesn't suggest a romantic connection.
When You Do Go Out In Public, It's Always Dive Bars And Hole-In-The-Wall Places
He's regularly reluctant to go out places with you, and on the times you do go out, he takes you somewhere that's quiet or unheard of even if you ask to go elsewhere.
He's Never Touchy With You In Public
I'm not saying that he should be trying to make out with you on a sidewalk, but he won't ever hold your hand or even give you a kiss on the cheek while out.
You're Never His Plus One
Say, for example, he has an office party or a friend's wedding to go to: he won't ask you to come as his date and will give some excuse like "I just want to focus on my friends," or "you'd hate it anyway."
He Doesn't Pick Up When You Call
He often doesn't pick up when you call, but he will call you back in his own time. In fact, it seems that most of the few phone calls you have are on his terms where he calls you.
He Talks About The Future Without Ever Really Promising Anything
He talks about this distant future where you get married, live together in a house, have kids, and have a great life, but he never makes any clear promises, and you never see him taking steps to make that vision a reality.
He's Very Hot And Cold With You
You'll see him a bunch of days in a row and then he goes M.I.A. for a week before getting back to you. It could be that he only sees you when it's convenient for him because he's seeing someone else during the other times.
Why The Secrecy?
People keep relationships a secret for a couple of reasons, one of which is often that they don't see any real future with you, so they don't even bother really bringing you into their life. Another common reason is that you're actually a side chick.
Confront Him About It
If you really feel like he is keeping you a secret from everyone else in his life, you should confront him about it. If he gets super defensive or dismissive of your concerns, there's a high chance your suspicions are correct.
As much as you might like this guy and the time you've spent together, staying with him is likely going to be a dead-end situation. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you and have you know the people in his life.