Reasons Why Guys Cheat—According To Guys
Being cheated on is a terrible feeling, and most of us have experienced it at one point in our lives. Either we've been cheated on, or someone we love has been cheated on. Cheating is probably a lot more common than you might think, especially because there are so many different kinds of cheating outside of just sleeping with someone else.
But Why Do Men Cheat?
Being cheated on brings up all kinds of different questions and makes you wonder what is it that's so hard about being faithful? What are the reasons that men cheat? We did some research and found some of the most common reasons men cheat. Some of them may be surprising—and some of them, not so much.
"I Cheated Because I Could"
One of the most obvious and infuriating reasons that men say they cheat is because they saw an opportunity and they just went for it. We might want to think that there is more to it than that, but sometimes there isn't.
"I Cheated Because I Wanted Out Of The Relationship"
A lot of men say that they cheated because they were looking for something or someone else. Cheating could be a symptom of a relationship that is long overdue to end, and he just didn't know how else to do it.
"I Cheated Because They Cheated On Me"
Sometimes, men act out and cheat because their partner cheated on them. They did it as almost an act of revenge thinking that it might make them feel better. Spoiler alert: it doesn't.
"I Cheated Because I Wanted To Be Liked"
Some guys are so deeply in need of the validation from other people that they will go out of their way to make themselves likeable to whoever will pay attention to them. One easy way to do this is to cheat.
"I Cheated Because I Felt Like I Could Get Away With It"
Men have said that they feel we live in a society that has made cheating kind of commonplace, and because of that, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal.
"I Cheated Because I Was Confused"
Just like some men cheat because they can't find another way to end the relationship, some men cheat because they're confused about what they want from you, their relationship, and from themselves.
"I Cheated Because I Was Drinking"
OK, this is by far one of the worst excuses out there. However, there are a lot of men out there who stick by the fact that if they had been sober in some of those situations, they would have been able to keep themselves from giving in to the situation that led them to cheat.
"I Cheated Because I Wasn't Satisfied In My Relationship"
It's hard to find someone who can meet all your needs, especially when it comes to dating. Sometimes, if men aren't getting the satisfaction they need, then they go looking for it somewhere else. Can you say "selfish"?
"I Cheated Because I Felt Like I Deserved It"
If you've been with someone who is a narcissist, then you know that there are people out there who feel like they are entitled to whatever they want, when they want it. More guys than you might want to think say that this is a reason they cheat.
"I Cheated Because I'm Immature"
There are guys who have cheated and deeply regret it, and with the clarity that comes from looking back on something, they see that the only reason they cheated was because they were immature.
"I Wanted To Make Sure I Had Someone After I Left My Current Relationship"
In life, there are basically two types of people: people who need to be in a relationship, and people who are OK not being in one. When asked why they cheated, some guys said they did it to make sure that they were going to have someone lined up for them when they broke up with their current partner.
"I Cheated Because I Didn't Have Good Friends"
The influence that good people can have in your life is outstanding, and some men who've cheated in the past say it's because they didn't have the right people in their life to tell them that what they're doing is sleazy and unfair.
"I Cheated Because My Expectations Weren't Realistic"
It takes a big man to admit when they are wrong, but some men who've cheated say that they ended up in a situation where they cheated because they weren't realistic about what they wanted from their partner or their relationship.
"I Cheated Because I Don't Like Relationships"
Being in a relationship isn't for everyone, and try as they might, some men just can't commit. One of the biggest reasons men claim to cheat is because relationships just aren't for them and they don't believe in monogamy.
"I Cheated Because I Didn't Know I Was Cheating"
As frustrating as it may be, different people have different definitions of what cheating is. There have been many guys who have said they've cheated because they didn't know what they were doing was cheating. For example, some people don't think just a kiss is cheating, or that flirting counts.
"I Cheated Because It Was My Ex"
We all have an ex that haunts us and has made their way well under our skin. If we're lucky, we shake them, and if we're not, then we feel ready to do anything to be with them, including cheating on someone we're dating.
"I Cheated Because It Was Exciting"
Putting it simply, some guys like to cheat because they like the thrill of it. It might not even be that there were any feelings involved, they just wanted to do it for the rush.
How To Make Sense Of Being Cheated On
When you get cheated on, it can be really difficult to make sense of what happened and why it happened. Hopefully, you'll be able to get some kind of closure and be able to ask the questions you need to ask to make sense of everything.
Should You Forgive Someone Who Cheated?
Then there is the age-old question of if someone cheated once, will they do it again? Really, that's up to you and what you've discussed with your partner. If they feel genuinely upset that it happened and have the emotional intelligence to understand why, then you can consider discussing it.
If he's one of those people who think they cheat because they can or they deserve it, it might be time for them to hit the road.
"I Cheated To Get Even"
Although two wrongs don't make a right, some people cheat as a means of revenge. Even if the other person hadn't necessarily cheated too, they want them to know what it feels like to be hurt by the other's actions as a way to get even.
"I Cheated Because I Felt Stuck"
These are the kinds of people who want the best of both worlds. They want the freedom of not being in a relationship but aren't actually ready to give up its perks.
They don't have the courage to actually break up, nor do they want to let go of the person they cheated on yet.
"I Cheated Because I Thought We Were On A Break"
Just because you're in a fight and are taking a few days apart doesn't mean that you don't still owe each other a sense of loyalty and respect. You're still together and are just regrouping.
Some guys go looking for a Band-Aid rather than showing that they truly want to make up and work through it during this time.
"I Cheated Because I Wanted To Feel Something"
When you're dating someone long enough, your lives can start to feel routine and dull. The comfort of a stable relationship is confused with boredom.
Some men have an affair in an attempt to feel some sort of change and excitement even if it comes with big consequences, as the risk itself is exhilarating.
"I Cheated Because I Felt Insecure"
Some people only feel validated by the attention they get from others. If someone else also wants them, they feel a boost to their self-worth, their attractiveness, and even their personality.
The act of having an affair can boost their own ego and self-esteem, even if just in the moment.
"I Cheated Because I Felt Neglected"
Some people engage in infidelity as a response to their partner's lack of attention. They use it as a motive to justify their need to get that attention and affection elsewhere. Often, they might even go to someone who is similar to their partner.
"I Cheated Because I Got Caught Up In The Heat Of The Moment"
Often enough, cheaters had no plans of cheating. It all leads to a circumstantial scenario that they didn't find the will to resist. One thing led to another, and before they even had a chance to think about it, the damage was already done.
"I Cheated Because I Have Commitment Issues"
People who have a hard time with commitment may be more likely to cheat even if they truly love their partner. These issues go back to years of baggage and to their own childhood abandonment issues.
They might not even realize the impact of their past until they do cheat.
Ironically, It's Not Because They Didn't Love You
This is all to say that you shouldn't blame yourself or look back on the entirety of your relationship and feel like it was all lie. In reality, the love they felt for you was likely really there. However, their own issues, willpower, and dissatisfaction with themselves are to blame.
It's Not Even That They Were Unhappy
Not every act of infidelity is driven by dissatisfaction with a current relationship. As the examples above outline, factors of the situation like drinking or being thrown into an opportunity they didn't anticipate can also be motives.
So it can be a one-time mistake after all if you chose to work on it, but it can't just be swept under the rug and ignored.
