Humans have a tendency to make our lives more complicated than they need to be, especially when it comes to relationships. We put ourselves in tough situations or deal with being unhappy because we don’t want to hurt our partner or we’re afraid of being alone, but it does more harm than good.
There are a lot of reasons that someone might stay in a relationship that’s not right for them, reasons you might not even realize apply to your situation.
You Love Them, But Don’t Like Them
You’re letting your overall love for someone overshadow the fact that you don’t have any shared interests, or maybe one of you has changed drastically. You have to both like and love your partner.
A lot of people stay in relationships long past the expiry date because they’re comfortable and they’re afraid of what comes next. Change can be scary, and it can be easier to stay where you are, comfortable with what you have, even if you’re not entirely happy.
You Can’t Handle Being Alone
You should never stay in a relationship simply because you don’t want to be alone, but lots of people do. It’s not fair to your partner, and it’s not fair to yourself. You have to be able to spend time on your own.
You’re Trying To Prove A Point
It could be that your family has said they don’t think you’ll work out, or maybe your friends have placed bets on when you’ll bail because you’re a classic commitment-phobe. Whatever the reason, you’ve decided to prove a point and stick it out so they aren’t right.
The Pros Outweigh The Cons
Sure, there are a couple of bad things in your relationship, but you’re determined to focus only on the good things and pretend those bad things don’t exist. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.
You’re Financially Dependent
Once you’re financially tied to someone, it seems like a much bigger deal if you want to leave them. You’re worried about living on just one salary, or you like having someone else help you pay for things, but that’s still not a viable reason.
Your parents keep mentioning how much they’re looking forward to getting some grandchildren, and they love your partner, so the thought of having to break it off means having a difficult conversation with your parents, and nobody wants that.
You Think You Won’t Find Someone Else
Whether it’s your own insecurity or something that your partner has instilled in you because they don’t want you to leave, you don’t feel like you’ll be able to find someone else if you were to break up.
You Don’t Want To Lose Your Friends
When you’re with someone for a long time, their friends and your friends overlap to the point where it’s just “our” friends, and the thought of losing that or having your friends choose sides is something most people want to avoid.
You Can’t Handle Them Being With Someone Else
Even if you know that you might not be the best match for the person you’re with, part of you knows that it would be difficult to see them with anyone else, so you’d rather just stay with them.
You Live Together
Just like being financially tied to someone, if you live with someone, it seems like a huge undertaking to have to move out and find a new place to live after a breakup, so you avoid the issue by staying.
They Always End Up Apologizing For Their Bad Behavior
Every time you think about leaving because of a certain behavior or arguments, your partner ends up apologizing and you forgive them. Remember that just because someone apologizes does not mean that you owe them your forgiveness.
You’ve Been Together For A Long Time
You’ve committed years of your life to this person, so now you feel like it’d be silly to throw that all away after spending that much time with someone. You’re invested, but that doesn’t mean you have to be forever.
You’re Hopeful They’ll Change
How many times do we have to have this discussion? If you’re waiting around for your partner to change or for something in your relationship to change in order to make you happy, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
They’ve Always Been Loyal To You
Friendly reminder that being loyal in a relationship does not earn you a gold star, it should be expected. If one of the main reasons you’re staying in a relationship is simply because they’ve never strayed, that’s not a good enough reason.
You’re Unhappy But You Don’t Have A Reason To Be
If you’re unhappy in your relationship but you feel like you should be happy, you might talk yourself into staying because you think it’ll pass or get better. In this case, you should talk to your partner about it. They might be feeling the same as you, or maybe once you start talking you’ll be able to pinpoint the reason.
You Feel Like A Failure
Not every relationship is going to work out; in fact, most of them won’t. That’s how it works. A breakup doesn’t mean that you failed or that you’re destined to die alone, it just means they weren’t the right person for you.
You’re Used To Being Treated Badly
You accept that your partner doesn’t see you as an equal or treats you badly because that’s how your relationships always go, even if some part of you knows that you deserve better.
Your Partner Needs You To Stay
You feel like even though you’re ready to move on from the relationship, you know that your partner wouldn’t take it well, and you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Their feelings aren’t the only ones that matter, though.
You’re Not Doing Anyone Any Favors By Staying
If you know that a relationship isn’t working out or that you’re with the wrong person, that’s reason enough to leave. It’s not fair to yourself or the person you’re with to stay for any of those other reasons.