Real Reasons Your Ex Might Be Keeping Tabs On You

The first few months after a breakup can feel like they’re moving in slow motion while you adjust to the single life.

One thing that makes it unnecessarily harder is when your ex can’t seem to leave you alone.

Your Ex Could Be Reaching Out For A Variety Of Reasons

Couple on beach at dusk embracing while both look at phones behind each other's back
Photo Credit: ROMAN ODINTSOV / Pexels
Photo Credit: ROMAN ODINTSOV / Pexels

Just because your ex is checking in on you doesn’t necessarily mean that they want to get back together, they could be lurking around for a variety of reasons.

It’s best to figure out what their intentions are so you can decide how quickly you need to swerve them.

They Are Curious About Whether You Have Moved On

Man checks phone
Photo Credit: Olha Ruskykh / Pexels
Photo Credit: Olha Ruskykh / Pexels

Your ex could be creeping on your social media or sending you random messages because they’re curious about whether you’re dating anyone new.

Their interest comes more from a place of competition because they are wondering how they compare to someone new.

They Are Comparing Themselves To Whoever You Are Dating Now

Couple takes selfie on a hike
Photo Credit: Vanessa Garcia / Pexels
Photo Credit: Vanessa Garcia / Pexels

Your ex will be looking for any information to see how they stack up compared to the new boo.

It’s likely that your ex is secretly hoping you downgrade when you replace them to make their own ego feel better.

They Want To Know If You’re Posting Anything About Them

Two men look at cell phone screen
Photo Credit: William Fortunato / Pexels
Photo Credit: William Fortunato / Pexels

It’s also possible that your ex is checking to see if you are shading them online.

Nasty breakups make people post crazy things sometimes and your ex could be keeping an eye to make sure you don’t expose their dirty deeds to your followers in a rant moment.

It’s Best To Keep Your Venting Sessions Off The Internet

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Photo Credit: SHVETS production / Pexels
Photo Credit: SHVETS production / Pexels

If you are still posting about the breakup or leaving subtle hints in your captions and posts, your ex will be reassured that they are still taking up space in your head.

Venting to your friends in real life is always a better bet than venting on the internet (it’s not a good look).

They Want To Know If You’re Still Seeing Mutual Friends

Group of friends sit outside at night socializing
Photo Credit: Askar Abayev / Pexels
Photo Credit: Askar Abayev / Pexels

If you’re still hanging out with mutual friends, your ex might be trying to find out exactly which friends.

Knowing who still sees you regularly means they will know who to hit up if they have any questions about your current love life. Also, they may be wondering if you have told that friend anything unflattering since the split.

They Want Their Things Back

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Photo Credit: Wallace Chuck / Pexels
Photo Credit: Wallace Chuck / Pexels

Your ex could be trying to contact you because they want their things back. Don’t write them off completely if you still have some of each other’s possessions to return.

Even if things ended on a bad note, it’s the right thing to do to give their things back before heading your separate ways.

Have Them Leave Your Stuff On The Porch Or Drop It At A Friend’s House

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Photo Credit: Liza Summer / Pexels
Photo Credit: Liza Summer / Pexels

If you do happen to have some of each other’s belongings, it’s best to have a plan for the best way to exchange them.

If things ended badly between the two of you, a good option is to ask them to drop your stuff off on the porch or at a friend’s house to avoid the possibility of fighting in person.

They Want To Know If You’re Still Thinking About Them

Man looks at phone near waterfront
Photo Credit: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels
Photo Credit: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels

Maybe your ex straight-up just wants to know if you’re still thinking about them because they are still thinking about you.

Hopefully, you aren’t still feeling hung up and it’s best not to give them any kind of reason to think you might be. Keep your social media super vague and leave them wondering, they don’t get to know what you’re up to anymore.

It’s Easier To Remember The Good Parts Of The Relationship

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Photo Credit: Olya Kobruseva / Pexels
Photo Credit: Olya Kobruseva / Pexels

It’s way easier to look back at a relationship and remember the good parts instead of all the bad ones (which there were plenty of).

Looking back with too kind eyes is a trap that’s easy to fall into.

They’re Just Feeling Nostalgic And Lonely

Man in bed on phone texting
Photo Credit: Eren Li / Pexels
Photo Credit: Eren Li / Pexels

Your ex could be reminiscing on all the good times and using it as a way to reach back to you, texting you things like, “Remember that hilarious thing that happened when we went to wherever?”

Odds are they are just feeling lonely and nostalgic and the feeling will pass as quickly as it came on.

They Are Afraid They Might Run Into You In Public

Couple in restaurant window on date
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

Maybe they’re keeping track of you through your friends and socials because they’re worried they’re going to run into you in public.

They could just be stressed that they’re going to take a date to a restaurant you like and awkwardly run into you there.

They Still Have Your Friends And Family On Social Media

Woman with Facebook open on laptop
Photo Credit: Kaboompics .com / Pexels
Photo Credit: Kaboompics .com / Pexels

It’s possible your ex is seeing what you’re up to without trying very hard (or at all).

If your friends and family members are still mutual friends with your ex online, they may be keeping you two connected without you even realizing it.

Ask Your Family To Hide Their Posts If You’re Uncomfortable

Facebook profile open on someone's phone
Photo Credit: Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas / Pexels
Photo Credit: Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas / Pexels

Your ex could be reminded of you every time your friends or family post, but if they delete them all it could be interpreted as rude.

If you’re uncomfortable with your close family having your ex on social media, let them know you would prefer if they hide their posts from your ex. That way it doesn’t involve actually deleting them, just minimizing how much they will see.

They May Reach Out To Try To Keep Doors Open

Man on phone in white room
Photo Credit: Polina Tankilevitch / Pexels
Photo Credit: Polina Tankilevitch / Pexels

It could make your ex sad to notice that they have been unfriended and give them a reason to reach out and ask you about it.

In the long run, it will be easier for both of you to cope if you’re distanced. Sometimes breakups mean cutting off more than just the person you were dating.

They Saw Something That Reminded Them Of You

Couple on couch watching TV
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels
Photo Credit: cottonbro / Pexels

Your ex could be motivated to reach out over something nostalgic you once bonded over. For example, if your mutual favorite band releases a new album or a TV show you binged together is finally ending.

While it’s nice to look back on these memories, there is ultimately a reason that things didn’t work out. Common interests can only take you so far in a relationship.