10 Questions To Ask If You Want To Know How He Feels About You
When you're starting out a relationship or still getting to know someone, it can be easy to get stuck in your own head and start to question how the person you're seeing actually feels about you.
Everyone wants to feel secure in their relationship, but how do you get that security? A lot of men aren't self-starters when it comes to talking about their feelings, but that doesn't mean they aren't willing to talk if you're asking them. If you want to know how he feels about you or if he's serious about your relationship, here are a few questions you could ask.
What Are Your Feelings About Long-Term Relationships?
If you're in the beginning stages of a relationship or just starting to get to know someone, this is a great question to ask so you can be realistic with your expectations.
Before you get too invested in the relationship or start picking out your wedding dress, it's good to know what their feelings about relationships are in general. You could put in all your time and effort to making your relationship succeed, but if they usually start to panic around the three- or four-month mark, it doesn't matter how hard you try.
What Are Your Goals In Life?
You don't necessarily need to ask him directly about you or your relationship in order to learn how he's feeling.
Asking about his goals for his life is going to give you insight into his life and where you fit into it. You can also ask about the goals that he's already accomplished, which can give you an idea of if he's on track with want he wants. Does he have lofty goals with no real plan to follow through, or is he checking off boxes left and right, moving down the list heading towards marriage and babies?
What Are Your Dealbreakers In A Relationship?
It's as important to know what you don't want in a relationship as it is to know what you do want.
Clearly, if you're still together, you probably haven't done or said anything that he considers a dealbreaker. There are probably things that haven't come up before, though, and this is a good question to open up that conversation. You might never have expressed to him that you want to move abroad, and then he suddenly tells you he never wants to live more than half an hour away from his family. Those are important things to talk about now that can decide the future of your relationship.
What Do You Want Out Of A Relationship?
Just because you both agree that you're looking for a serious relationship or looking for a long-term commitment, that does not mean that the conversation is over.
What you consider to be crucial aspects of a committed relationship could be completely different than things that he values. Understanding what he wants out of a relationship can help you see if you're currently fulfilling that role for him or if there are things you're not doing that he wishes you were. It's also good for you to see if you want the same things out of your relationship.
Are You Happy With Your Life Currently?
You don't need to insert yourself specifically into every question in order to learn about his true feelings. Just like with his goals in life, knowing if he's happy or not right now tells you a lot.
Usually, if someone is in a newer relationship, they're still in that honeymoon stage and are probably all wrapped up in the joy of it, so if you've been dating for a few weeks and he says he's not happy with his life currently? Buyer beware, he might not be on the same page as you are.
Are A Lot Of Your Friends In Relationships?
We become like the people we spend our time with, and we usually don't choose to spend time with people whose values or morals are completely misaligned with our own.
Asking him about his friends can give you a feel for where he's at in his life. If all of his friends are coupled up and getting ready to settle down, he could also be looking to do the same. On the flip side, if all of his closest friends are living that single life, swiping up a storm on Tinder and going out every night of the week, that could be your indicator that's not ready to commit just yet.
Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years?
You might think that this question has kind of already been asked and answered when you talked about his goals, but that's not entirely true. A goal is often something concrete or quantifiable, whereas this could be more about painting a general picture.
He could tell you he hopes to be married with three children spending every Sunday morning taking the dog and kids for a hike, and it'll be the first time he's ever even mentioned that he likes hiking. Or he could paint a picture of a man still living in his bachelor apartment casually dating and having fun, and then you know you have more issues to dive into.
What Do You Like Most About Our Relationship?
This question gives you a little more specificity beyond "are you happy with your current life?" Maybe you didn't quite get the clarity you were looking for with that one, so it's time to be a bit more direct.
Depending on the answer he gives, you'll be able to tell if he's serious about working on your relationship, or if he's just here because he doesn't have other options. If he talks about certain qualities he loves about you or how much he appreciates that you both value family, that's great! If he says he likes how much fun you have together... Best of luck.
When Do You Think Someone Is Ready To Get Married?
If marriage is your end goal for your relationship, it's probably a good idea to bring up the general topic and see how he feels about it. It might not even be something he's considered before, depending on how serious his relationships have been in the past or what stage he's at in his life.
There's not a right or wrong answer to a question like this, but it'll help you to understand his maturity level or what kinds of things he looks for in a partner and a relationship.
You Could Just Straight-Up Ask Him How He Feels
Above all else, the easiest way to get the answers you're looking for is always going to be honesty. If you want the answer to a certain question, such as "how do you feel about me?" the best way to get that answer is to ask that question.
No matter what response he gives, you're going to get an answer. If he avoids the question or changes the subject quickly after giving some half-hearted response, that could be a sign that he's unsure of his feelings or not super invested. On the other hand, maybe he'll give you that heartfelt declaration that you've been looking for.
