Fourteen people shared the exact moment when they realized that their relationship was over. Some realized that their partner was toxic, some were treated badly at their lowest for no reason at all, and others just realized they didn’t enjoy spending time with their partner. Spoiler alert: Some of these might cause you to be in your feels for a little while.
It’s sad because, in relationships, we often settle for unhappiness and ignore the red flags. But sometimes, we receive a huge wake-up call that is just too loud to ignore. Read on to see 14 different people explain the final straw in their relationship.
Recently, u/disturbanceofmirrors asked the following question on r/AskReddit:
“People whose long-term relationship faded, what was the final straw that made you realize it was time to call it a day?” The question received thousands of comments, so let’s go through some of them.
His Girlfriend Could Never Admit She Was Wrong
“The relationship was toxic from the beginning, but we had a kid and leaving would be a big sacrifice. So I told her that we’re going to take 10 months to really focus on improving our relationship. And if we can’t agree after that time that even one thing has gotten better between us, I’m leaving.
“I really worked hard during that time to do relationship work with her, but every time I brought it up, she said all our problems were my fault so there was nothing for her to do. We were in the exact same place at the end of the 10 months, and I started working on my exit plan.” —ct_2004 / Reddit
“The Big Bang Theory” Gave Them An Epiphany
“I was watching ‘The Big Bang Theory’
“I realized that despite the running joke that Amy can’t get any tiny bit of affection from Sheldon, he still managed to be more loving than my then-husband.” —FeralGinger / Reddit
Her Partner Didn’t Want To Make Sacrifices
“I am a bird watcher (lame, I know) and we were on this trip and I wanted to do this birdwatching tour (it was like a two-hour thing) and he kept putting it off, and then eventually I just went alone. It was by far the best part of my trip.
“I was really hurt that he didn’t have a few hours to do something I wanted to do, even though I trekked across several beaches to find the ‘right’ surf spot for him. I realized I could do better and be happier. And I am!” —sorrygirl818 / Reddit
Dating A Workoholic
“I asked when we’d be going on a date (it had been months since we went on one and we saw each other once a week) and he literally told me ‘idk, when I’m not working probably.’
“That’s when I started to give up. It hurt more because he’d also hang out with friends more than me lmao.” —thathappyhippie / Reddit
She Was Lying Too Much
“It was when I noticed that my GF at the time lied constantly and for no reason. The final straw is where she made up a situation about a guy at her job trying to hook up with her. I confronted the dude, and he had no idea what I was talking about.
“Then my GF acts like she doesn’t know what was going on. At that point, I was like, ‘Is this the person I really want to spend the rest of my life with?’ Dropped her at the spot, and ignored all her calls from that moment on.” —The_eyes_are_blind / Reddit
When They Were Forced To Actually Spend Time Together
“Honestly, it was the pandemic. It really forced us to actually spend time together and I realized we kind of just didn’t do much together at all.
“I had spent years thinking it was cool that we kept our own friends and space, but once those distractions were taken away, it was just really clear to me that we were more like roommates than a couple.” —Badloss / Reddit
His Coworker Helped Make The Decision
“A coworker of mine was talking about a great time he had with his partner, and I realized I hadn’t felt like that in years with my partner.
“I went home after work and ended it. We both agreed it was for the best.” —Hot_KarlMarx / Reddit
Growing Tired Of Long-Distance
“We were together for five years and long-distance for two of those years. I realized one day that it felt like just going through the motions when she answered the Skype call. I could see it in her eyes too. We got to a point where we spent more time muted on call so we could do other things.
“We would sit in silence with our webcams on and barely look at each other. The flame just went out. I eventually just had to sit down and really reevaluate some stuff. It was a really hard conversation and absolutely broke my heart to tell her. We cried together and had the best conversation we had in over a year.” —notimprezaed / Reddit
“He picked up the change from my backseat and kept it. The change was on the floor where I always put my purse. He didn’t drive. He hadn’t worked in the two years while he got his MBA or the 13 months after.
“It was clearly my money. He got upset when I asked for it back. Not angry—upset and confused like a child. That was it for me.” —MissPlaceDApostrophe / Reddit
They Wanted Different Things
“She was happy where her life was and I wanted more. She lived in her parent’s garage, had a job she hated, and a family that didn’t appreciate her. She planned to have IVF and raise that child in her parent’s garage while working a job she hates with a family that didn’t appreciate her.
“I wanted a nice house, a nice job, a nice life away from people that don’t support the things that make me/us happy. To travel and try new things, to not be stuck to the same 30 miles for the next 50 years. Me wanting more in life and her never wanting to change split us up. I was gonna marry that girl, now I just feel bad for her.” —polorat12 / Reddit
She Realized That She Didn’t Want To Be A Housewife
“I was in a long-distance relationship and I had this sinking feeling in my stomach whenever the thought of moving came up. Then one day I had a job interview in the city he lived in, which also happened to be a city I had a lot of friends in. After the job interview, I hung out with my friends and had a blast, but the sinking feeling didn’t go away. I eventually realized I wasn’t afraid of moving to the city he lived in, I was afraid of living with him.
“He was the kind of guy who was into an ambitious woman in theory but also wanted her to do all of the cooking, cleaning, etc… I realized that eventually, I would become his housewife, because he wanted kids and definitely wasn’t going to help much. That was not the future I wanted for myself.” —corinini / Reddit
His Partner Didn’t Care About How He Was Feeling
“I knew it was over, but the day after my grandfather passed away, she couldn’t even give me a call to see how I was doing because she was at a Halloween party.
“That just soured the whole relationship in my mind. I was worried she was in trouble, but she just ghosted me for the night.” —Ohnwhelphair / Reddit
A Painful Realization
“We hardly saw each other anymore, but the final straw was: I had surgery and he didn’t visit me until a few days afterward.
“He brought me a little microwaveable pizza and ate half of it. We’d been together for almost 5 years.” —frankylovee / Reddit
Not Wanting To Spend Time With Them
“I’d sit in my car after work playing on my phone for like an hour.
“I just needed a break before going inside and dealing with him.” —Omfgimaweirdo / Reddit
There’s Not Always A Reason
So, there are clearly defining moments in a relationship that either make or break a couple. Yet, a breakup can also occur for multiple, unspecified reasons. Regardless, call the red flags out when you see them and acknowledge how you are feeling.
Let this Reddit thread be a reminder that you deserve the world, and that you shouldn’t settle for less.