People Share The Final Straws That Made Them End Their Long-Term Relationships, And It’s Illuminating
It doesn't matter how many times your friends warn you against someone, if you don't see the signs for yourself, you'll stay in bad relationships. It takes some people years before they're able to let go of their relationship and see it from an outside point of view.
The people of Reddit shared what it finally took for them to say that enough is enough and walk away.
Breakup Number 12
"When she 'broke up' with me for the 12th time. We had a long-distance relationship and whenever we had an issue or a disagreement, she would say we were done and shut me out for two or three days before coming back and manipulating me into groveling for her forgiveness.
"The last time, I just said no to going back and stuck to it. She freaked out and tried to drive six hours to my place at 2:00 a.m... I was able to convince her to turn back." —epgenius
Another Reason To Hate The Pandemic
"Honestly, it was the pandemic. It really forced us to actually spend time together and I realized we kind of just didn't do much together at all.
"I had spent years thinking it was cool that we kept our own friends and space, but once those distractions were taken away, it was just really clear to me that we were more like roommates than a couple." —Badloss
The Spark Was Just Missing
"A coworker of mine was talking about a great time he had with his partner, and I realized I hadn't felt like that in years with my partner. I went home after work and ended it. We both agreed it was for the best." —Hot_KarlMarx
Sometimes there's no reason that can be explained in words, and it comes down to a missing feeling.
Sucking The Energy Right Out
"I'd sit in my car after work playing on my phone for like an hour because I just needed a break before going inside and dealing with him." —Omfgimaweirdo
If your partner makes you feel drained rather than filling you with excitement and life, then they're likely toxic for you.
It Takes Practice
"I got to a point where every day when I was alone I'd be rehearsing ways to say 'I want to break up' and couldn't bring myself to do it when he got home.
"At some point, I realized that wasn't normal and for his sake, I should just end it before it goes too far. That was a four-year relationship." —Haiku_lass
The Cycle Must Be Broken
"I would stay late at work because I didn't want to go home. I knew I’d get home to dirty dishes, laundry on the floor, and no food ready to eat, and I’d be expected to do all that while he sat on the couch.
"And that right after I finished doing all the chores, and I’d be tired and just wanting to relax, that’s when he’d want sex. And probably berate me for not being in the mood. I realized I was taking after my mom, and I didn’t want that." —TheOtherZebra
Just Rip The Band-Aid Off
"I knew I needed to end it but I liked and respected her and didn't want to hurt her... Eventually I realized that staying together was ultimately more harmful than ripping the band-aid off and if I was going to hurt her either way I at least needed to do right by myself." —Badloss
At least the sooner you do it, the faster they can heal.
In A Committed Relationship With Work
"He was a workaholic to the point that I saw him about six days per month." —WeasersMom14
It's all about how they set their priorities. No matter how much money they make, is it even worth it if they don't get to enjoy and share it with their loved ones?
The Passion Died
"We were together for five years and long-distance for two of those years.
"I realized one day that it felt like just going through the motions when she answered the Skype call. I could see it in her eyes too. We would sit in silence with our webcams on and barely look at each other. The flame just went out." —notimprezaed
While love is comfortable, it shouldn't be boring.
Better Off Alone
"After two years, she went on a trip and I picked her up from the airport. She said how much she missed me, and I realized I really didn't miss her." —ozone8522
Sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder, and sometimes it just brings clarity.
Even Sheldon Gave More Affection
"I was watching "The Big Bang Theory" and realized that despite the running joke that Amy can't get any tiny bit of affection from Sheldon, he still managed to be more loving than my then-husband." —FeralGinger
We understand people have different ways they express love but part of loving someone in the way they need is speaking their love language.
An Opportunity Comes Along
"I moved in with him a few months before we both graduated. We started working right after but our jobs had a totally different schedule. Mine was during the day, his was in the evening (and often on the weekend).
"We rarely spent time together and I guess we drifted apart. Then I got the opportunity to go to work in another country and he told me to go for it." —Haruki88
Together But Apart
"We lived together, but actually lived completely separate lives. Basically, a housemate I shared a bed with." —Carm_003
Sometimes it takes actually living together to see if you're genuinely a good fit, or better off as friends.
You Can't Help Someone Who Doesn't Want Help
"When I realized I was needed and not wanted. Constantly trying to make someone happy who didn't want to be happy." —muerte626
Have you heard the joke about how many psychiatrists it takes to change a lightbulb? The answer is the lightbulb has to want to change first.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
"I knew it was over, but the day after my grandfather passed away, she couldn't even give me a call to see how I was doing because she was at a Halloween party, and that just soured the whole relationship in my mind. " —Ohnwhelphair
If they care about you, they'll show you without you having to ask for it.
Microwave Pizza Is Not Love
"The final straw was when I had surgery and he didn't visit me until a few days afterward. He brought me a little microwaveable pizza and ate half of it. We'd been together for almost five years." —frankylovee
Flowers work, especially after five years of dating, but what do we know!
