People Own Up To Their Toxic Traits And, Honestly, They’re Good Things To Look Out For

A “toxic trait” is something that someone does regularly that repeatedly creates negative outcomes for themselves and the people around them. Just about every person on the planet has a toxic trait or two, with some being more severe than others.

It can be easy to identify toxic traits in others, but these people on Reddit owned up to their own toxic traits.

People Are Not Puppets

man manipulated dog puppet on strings
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Pixpoetry // Text Credit: Reddit / ThornyThong
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Pixpoetry // Text Credit: Reddit / ThornyThong

“I compulsively manipulate people and situations. I know exactly what I’m doing in the moment, but I can’t stop myself.”

Sure, manipulation can make sure you always get what you want, but no one wants to stay with someone who tries to control them.

I Think A Lot Of Women Can Relate To This

man and woman sharing mutual gaze
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Anna Hecker // Text Credit: Reddit / WhyY_196
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Anna Hecker // Text Credit: Reddit / WhyY_196

“Seeking male approval and feeling anxious if I don’t. I need the approval of male authority figures due to my absent father and it bothers me to the point that if I think a male authority figure doesn’t like me, I obsess over it. Also, I can’t develop feelings for men because I’m afraid of rejection so I convince myself any guy that likes me actually doesn’t.”

Negativity Breeds More Negativity

sign with angry face on it
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Andre Hunter // Text Credit: Reddit / sugarcuberyan
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Andre Hunter // Text Credit: Reddit / sugarcuberyan

“I tend to talk more about things that I hate or that annoy me than things I love or make me happy. It has been very damaging when I’ve tried to form new relationships.”

Awkwardness > Cruelty

person wearing a sheet as a ghost on a city street
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Tandem X Visuals // Text Credit: Reddit / HugOWar
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Tandem X Visuals // Text Credit: Reddit / HugOWar

“I tend to ghost people rather than have an awkward conversation.”

The main reason that people ghost is that they hate the awkwardness of saying they’re not really interested, but people really do appreciate honesty more than just silence.

It’s Inherently Selfish To Do This

silhouette of couple looking at each other in front of sunset
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Travis Grossen // Text Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Travis Grossen // Text Credit: Reddit

“I’ll know that a relationship is pretty much over and I don’t want to be with a person anymore, but I’ll stay another month or two until I’ve emotionally detached myself from them so I don’t really feel the breakup as badly with no concern for their personal feelings.”

They Really Only Love The Sound Of Their Own Voice

two women having a conversation
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Mimi Thian // Text Credit: Reddit / fleeeeetwood
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Mimi Thian // Text Credit: Reddit / fleeeeetwood

“Listening to reply rather than actually hearing what people have to say.”

Sometimes, it is important to ask yourself if you’re really engaging in a conversation and reciprocating interest, or if you’re just making things about yourself.

Pettiness Can Really Get Out Of Hand

woman pouting with arms crossed
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez // Text Credit: Reddit / openletter8
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez // Text Credit: Reddit / openletter8

“I respond poorly to passive-aggressiveness. Whatever you’re being passive-aggressive with me about, I’m about to do even harder.”

Passive-aggressiveness is a toxic trait in itself, but adding more fuel to the fire instead of having a conversation about it is not how to solve the problem.

Reacting Can Be Really Challenging

woman crying
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Fa Barboza // Text Credit: Reddit / legit_muffins
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Fa Barboza // Text Credit: Reddit / legit_muffins

“I have a really difficult time reacting emotionally to somebody who is sad/upset/crying. I have no issue laughing when somebody else is, or mad when somebody else is. But I cannot relate on an emotional level when I see sadness. That part of my brain never fires.”

It’s Never Poorly Intended, But…

two people linking pinkies
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Womanizer Wow Tech // Text Credit: Reddit / LearningLifeAsIGo
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Womanizer Wow Tech // Text Credit: Reddit / LearningLifeAsIGo

“Over-promising.”

Many people have a tendency to promise more than they can deliver on because they love to please others and hate to let them down, but it leaves everyone feeling upset.

Life Is Easier When You Just Admit You’re Wrong

man yelling into receiver of phone
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Icon8 Team // Text Credit: Reddit / roofiedelephant
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Icon8 Team // Text Credit: Reddit / roofiedelephant

“I always have to prove I’m right. Especially when I’m 100% sure I’m right. It’s caused me many problems in my personal and professional life, but I can’t seem to be able to do anything about it.”

Chronic Flaking Is A Real Thing

woman lying on couch, cozy
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Adrian Swancar // Text Credit: Reddit / JDLovesElliott
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Adrian Swancar // Text Credit: Reddit / JDLovesElliott

“I don’t have the motivation to finish things. I’m always excited to start something but then lose interest. It’s affected a few friendships/relationships where I lost the motivation to stay in touch with people, not because we grew apart but because I naturally became detached.”

Jealousy Can Be A Real Problem

woman with beautiful eyes
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Karoline Soares // Text Credit: Reddit / ooglecat
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Karoline Soares // Text Credit: Reddit / ooglecat

“Whenever I see a girl that’s more attractive than me I automatically dislike her. Also, when I’m planning on doing/making something and I see somebody else do/make it really well I get super salty. Both of these I’m able to talk myself down in my head and make myself start thinking clearly again, but it’s embarrassing that my brain makes these jumps to begin with.”

It’s Strange When It’s Beyond Your Control

man has red X over lips and writing
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Tara Chernus // Text Credit: Reddit / agarwaen_11
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Tara Chernus // Text Credit: Reddit / agarwaen_11

“I’m a pathological liar. It isn’t nearly as bad as it used to be and I’m really proud of how far I’ve come with it, but to this day, like, if I’m telling a story or talking to you I’ll do little exaggerations for no reason. For example like if I got 3 hours of sleep last night and I’m complaining about it to you, I’ll say 2 hours just to make it sound better, and you know who cares if it’s 2 or 3 the story is the same.”

This Sounds Like It’s Rooted In Insecurity

small trophy
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Giorgio Trovato // Text Credit: Reddit / theatregirl2001
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Giorgio Trovato // Text Credit: Reddit / theatregirl2001

“I constantly look for the validation and approval of others. If I don’t receive that validation or approval, I feel like there is something wrong with me. If it is something that I can change (without harming myself or others) I try to do it in order to receive that validation from others.”

Perhaps Therapy Would Be Helpful

man scowling with hands in front of face
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Nathan Dumlao // Text Credit: Reddit / -TempusFrangit-
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Nathan Dumlao // Text Credit: Reddit / -TempusFrangit-

“My anxiety makes me self-centered sometimes. Ironically, I will worry about doing something wrong in social situations so much that I end up overlooking other people’s actual needs. For example, I will think somebody who is quiet is probably mad at me or doesn’t like me and worry about that so much that I don’t even consider they may have something going on in their life they might like to talk about.”

Pretty Sycophantic, Too

two men talking to each other over a table
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Linkedin Sales Navigator // Text Credit: Reddit / yungScooter30
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Linkedin Sales Navigator // Text Credit: Reddit / yungScooter30

“I’m very apathetic. I honestly couldn’t care less about anyone else’s day, but I often feign interest in them very skillfully so that they take interest in me in return.”

It Can Be Hard To Control It

woman looking worried while looking at phone screen
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Kev Costello // Text Credit: Reddit / alphaank
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Kev Costello // Text Credit: Reddit / alphaank

“Overthinking and jumping to conclusions.”

Some people, especially those with anxiety, have a tendency to overthink, but jumping to conclusions without any real backing is damaging to those around you.

This Is A Mindset Problem

judge's gavel
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Tingey Injury Law Firm // Text Credit: Reddit / nommingwithnic
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Tingey Injury Law Firm // Text Credit: Reddit / nommingwithnic

“I judge people often because I expect that I’ll be judged in return anyway.”

If you believe that other people are mean, it makes you meaner. If you believe that other people are generally good, it makes you a better person.

That Can Get Off-Putting Very Quickly

man's fist extended out as a punch
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Quinn Buffing // Text Credit: Reddit / StrongPainter
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Quinn Buffing // Text Credit: Reddit / StrongPainter

“I am overly aggressive at everyone. I don’t mean it and it’s something I’ve been working on for a while.”

It’s impossible to really have a conversation or get along with someone who always reacts aggressively toward you.

Clinginess Isn’t Pleasant For Anyone

woman holding onto torso of a man from behind
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Erik Lucatero // Text Credit: Reddit / bubbalubbagrubhub
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Erik Lucatero // Text Credit: Reddit / bubbalubbagrubhub

“I have serious abandonment issues. I have a tendency to cling. I also hold my friends and family to an unreasonably high standard, and when they disappoint me, I get very openly upset about it.”