People always talk about flat-out dealbreakers and red flags when it comes to relationships, but what about minor grievances? User FightTheThargReich took to Reddit and asked, “What is NOT a dealbreaker BUT would be greatly disappointing to find out about your partner?”
From hypothetical scenarios to things that actually happened, people are sharing things that would nonetheless be disappointing to learn about their significant others, and they go far beyond being a loud snorer.
Communicating With Nature
One user shares that when he first met his now-wife, she told him that she grew up talking to cows because she lived on a farm and didn’t have another neighbor around for miles. One day though, she told him the truth and he was udderly disappointed. I guess you could say he had a hard time mooving past it.
“I was CRUSHED. Seems like such a small thing but I was (and still am) disappointed. I really liked that about her, and didn’t realize it until she told me it wasn’t true. Sadface.” —JamesTheMannequin / Reddit
Adult-Sized Toddler Tantrums
“I dated someone who would take food they didn’t like off their plate, and put it on the table. I would silently put it on my plate until one day she blew up at me… said I was treating her like a child. The irony is not lost on me.” —JenniferAnistonson / Reddit
Even though these are pet peeves and not dealbreakers, it’s probably fair to say they’re not together anymore, and that might be for the best.
Cookies And Creme
“Wife told me she didn’t like cookies and creme ice cream AFTER we married…” —Throwaway021614 / Reddit
I don’t know why this would be disappointing to learn. That just means more ice cream for him!
Socks And Shoes
Everyone has their own routine for getting ready in the morning, and contrary to popular belief (well, misconception), no, men, women do not put their bras on one leg at a time. Although for one user, depending on how their partner puts on their socks and shoes, trouble is afoot.
“If they are a sock-shoe sock-shoe person and not a sock-sock shoe-shoe person.” —browningglory / Reddit
Due to current events, traveling has been put on the back burner for most of us. While people are itching to explore their own countries or even new places again, others are perfectly fine with staying local.
“I was pretty disappointed to know my boyfriend doesn’t want to travel and get to experience other countries as much as I do, because he seemed like that kind of person initially, but it’s not at all a dealbreaker.” —leenlegion / Reddit
(Don’t) Live, Laugh, Love
Many women’s not-so-secret weakness is wooden signs with an inspiring or funny message written on them. Unfortunately for men, that just happens to be their kryptonite. They might say it’s not a dealbreaker, but deep down, we know the truth.
“I just bought a house and those words [live, laugh, love] are painted on the kitchen wall. Those words will be gone by the end of the first day.” —gm85 / Reddit
Your Feelings Are Valid
One user said it’s when a person doesn’t give their own words and opinions enough credit, and that’s an issue that can be hard to overcome.
“I’ve struggled with this for so long. I always assumed that everyone must be smarter/have more info on a subject than I did. I’ve managed to train my brain out of that internalized BS, but it took years of actively catching myself and reminding myself that I know what I’m talking about and my feelings are valid.” —Turguryurrrn / Reddit
Bringing The Rainforest Home
After being married for so long, most couples probably think that there’s nothing their partner can do or say anymore that could shock them—except for this husband.
“She said she wanted to get into gardening more…I went on a business trip, [and] when I returned my house looked like Jumanji. Like how did you fill this much house with plants, there’s like $10,000 of plants in the damn house now, and that’s not counting the garden outside. We got 2 cats, we got a dog, we got 2 kids, and now we have a rainforest in the house.” —AlarmingTurnover / Reddit
They See Me Rolling
In a debate as old as time itself, which way should the toilet paper roll go? While not a dealbreaker, people are fiercely protective over their preference. But at least you’re not this woman’s husband.
“Living with my husband for six years I’ve learned the true wrong way is not actually replacing the roll and just sitting it on literally any other surface.” —JanetSnakehole610 / Reddit
Ironically, when it came to the topic of how to deal with bugs, people had some pretty strong opinions.
Some felt strongly about killing any bugs that wander into their home, while others prefer the “catch and release” method. They’re better people than I because if it’s got six to eight legs, a bunch of eyeballs, and they’re okay with it chilling in my house, it’s a dealbreaker. Seriously, bugs, at least contribute to the rent or something.
I’m Walkin’ Here!
Walking is a quick and easy way to get to your destination, and it counts as good exercise too. But as some users have noticed, not everyone is as big a fan at pounding the pavement as they are.
“They don’t like to walk places. It bugs me when people want to get in a car and drive to a place like a handful of blocks away. It normally even takes longer. But obviously that’s not something important enough to screen on a first date or anything.” —davythenavy / Reddit
So You Bought A Minivan
For some reason, minivans have quite a comical reputation in the car world. Whether it’s a dead giveaway that your single and carefree days are over or you’ve turned into full soccer mom, people either love them or hate them.
“My wife told me after several years of being married and the birth of our first child that she wanted a minivan. I wish I could post a picture of my face.” —apeman3289 / Reddit
Give The Pilot A Round Of Applause
When you fly, you can pretty much almost guarantee that someone will clap when the plane touches down on the runway. It’s not a dealbreaker, but it’s probably as close as you can get for most people.
“I’d rather they just cheat on me.” —14thAndVine / Reddit
“Not liking animals, particularly around having pets.” —DetectiveTank / Reddit
Another disappointment (but not dealbreaker) involved animals. People who have pets are incredibly attached to them and consider their four-legged, slithering, or swimming friends to be members of the family. As some people have learned, however, pet ownership is not for everyone.
One user explains that their husband squeezes a tube of toothpaste from the middle, but says that despite these shortcomings, they’re making it work. Another user shared a similar incident involving their parents and a seemingly innocent tube of toothpaste.
“My parents had to go to marriage counseling over that fight. [Their] resolve was to have individual tubes, happily married since.” —hanging_with_epstein / Reddit
Which Came First
A big debate among people is whether to put the milk or cereal into the bowl first. Apparently a similar debate is also hotly contested in England, but this one involves making tea instead of cereal.
Either way, the only acceptable option is pouring the cereal into the bowl first (or first putting the teabag inside the mug). Come at me.
A Lover Of Science—Mostly
“The worst that’s happened to me was she didn’t believe in evolution. Was big into rocks, believed the Earth was billions of years old, didn’t believe one species can become one or more different species.” —boyraceruk / Reddit
For Christmas that year, she received a copy of Charles Darwin’s On the Origin of Species (probably. If not, wasted opportunity).
Doing It For The ‘Gram
“If they took pictures of all their meals.” —Piranha_Plant05 / Reddit
It requires a true test of willpower when the server delivers your meals to your table and you have to put down the fork because your friend or significant other just has to snap several shots of it for Instagram.
Astrology And Crystals
While probably harmless, some users felt that believing in astrology or thinking that crystals have magical healing powers (as opposed to thinking they just look cool) would be a huge disappointment to learn about in their partner.
Ugh, that’s such a Scorpio thing to say.
In one of the more controversial answers, a user commented that if their significant had cheated in a previous relationship, it’d be disappointing to find out, but wouldn’t be a dealbreaker. Many disagreed, however.
“Having previously been cheated on, I have a lot of respect for people who can tough it out and strengthen their relationship. But damn. That ain’t me.” —TakeTheCannoli813 / Reddit