We fall in love, we commit, we get hurt, we stay, and we leave. Even though breakups can hurt, they can be the best thing that happens to you in order to get your life back on track.
Below are some entries from an askreddit thread where a bunch of Redditors shared the moment when they knew their partner was going to become their ex.
The Moment When…
Have you ever felt like there was a singular moment within a relationship where you knew that it just wasn’t going to work out?
Well, don’t worry, because you’re definitely not alone, and hopefully you find solace in these stories.
They Weren’t Ready To Commit
“When they told me they wanted to postpone our wedding literally 5 minutes after we’d handed over the deposit for our venue.
Why? Because I was going through a long depression. So, left them, and met someone else who decided I was worth fighting for.”
The Price Of Long Distance
“When she came to visit me long-distance, I was so excited to see her.
But by the time she left I was relieved. That’s when I knew that we had to break up”
The Importance Of Small Texts During The Day
“I was more miserable and unstable with her than when I was alone for a year before that. Everything was great/excellent when we were together, but when we weren’t, I could never get even a text message response (from someone who “loves” me).
It made me feel like I wasn’t even worth the three seconds it takes to send a text.”
The Fateful Taco Bell Trip
“My order was huge and I was trying to get a grip on all those plastic bags, when the guy behind the counter said something like, “surely you can’t eat all that” in a teasing sort of tone.
I explained no, it was for my boyfriend. The Taco Bell guy replied, “well, tell him he’s lucky to have such a beautiful and thoughtful girlfriend. I had no interest in this Taco Bell guy. But I got out to my car and cried, because it was the first time anyone had said something nice to me in so long. I began to make plans for leaving him.”
When You’re Asked To Choose Between Family And Your Boyfriend
“When he called and asked me where I was, I told him I was at my cousin’s house. He got all nuts on me and said I better be on his doorstep the minute he pulled up unless I’m going to choose my cousin over him.
“I said, “Oh, ok,” hung up and never talked to him again, not even to break up with him.”
She Had No Privacy
“When it got to the point where he would demand to check through my phone and Facebook inbox each day. He knew all my passwords and would sometimes log onto my Facebook account pretending to be me and would try to talk to my friends to see if I had hooked up with anyone.
Spending time with him started to be so emotionally draining because I always felt like I had done something wrong.”
Having No Freedom
“When he accused me of being drunk because I didn’t respond right away, then the same night he was not ok with me sleeping on my friend’s couch instead of going back to the dorm.
That was the final straw. Before this, he had broken up with me for 3 days, this being the last of 3 breakups.”
Thinking About The Future
“When I couldn’t see myself married to them. I loved them but those feelings became something similar to those of a close friend or something.
It really sucked how things ended but they had to. It wasn’t fair to either of us.”
“When I became second to his games and friends. Can’t compete with computer or bros.
Hours and hours of (League of Legends). It seriously pissed me off. I would leave the house for hours and he didn’t even notice. That was too much for me.”
A Secret Mexico Trip
“When he decided to go to Mexico without telling me.
I couldn’t get a hold of him for days, then when I finally did, he told me that he had gone to Mexico with his uncles. I was furious, he didn’t understand why.”
Realizing You Don’t Want To Spend Time With Them
“I was together with a wonderful girl I liked, but actually wasn’t in love with. I realized this when my friends invited me for a ski trip.
I was making arrangements and all I could think was ‘damn, she will probably want to come, and I actually really do not want her to be there.’ That was such a wrong feeling that the next day I broke it off.”
A Horrible Thing To Say
“When my dad was arrested and extradited to another state, I was going through a ton of stress. Not only was I in grad school and working two jobs, and it was up to me to make the 1500 mile trips for court appearances because my family and I agreed I was the one that should go.
While having a nervous breakdown after a fight with my boyfriend at the time because he wasn’t being supportive, he says, ‘at times like this I’m glad your dad is going to prison for the rest of his life. You are so spoiled by him.”‘
A Toxic Relationship
“They had always been a manipulative jerk. I was in a bad place when we started dating and he’d take advantage of that. They’d call me beautiful or say I was special if I did something right.
Towards the end, they became such an a**hole. They would compare me to other girls, random bursts of anger or tantrums (they were spoiled by his parents). When I found out they cheated on me multiple times with a girl from work, I knew that was my time to end it.”
When You’re Just Not Into It Anymore
“Honestly one day I sat down and was like ‘You know, I’m just really not that into her anymore.’ I had kinda felt like this for a while but I had never really admitted it to myself.
I knew it wasn’t fair to her to drag it out if I wasn’t emotionally there so I broke up with her that day. Best decision I ever made.”
An Eye-Opening Experience
“When we went out for Valentine’s Day at an expensive restaurant I love and I saw that he had arranged for a private booth with roses and such in the table, and my only thought was, “I hope he doesn’t ruin my meal by proposing.”
I’ve never been the kind of person who is afraid of commitment so that was an eye-opening thought regarding the state of our relationship.”
Not Looking Forward To Seeing Them
“We were together for 17 years and had been living in different cities for 2 years due to our employment situation.
She would come to see me once a month, and I knew it was over when I felt irritated that I would have to spend the weekend with her.”
It Just Wasn’t Working Out
“I couldn’t take her anywhere. Great seats to the symphony? She gets bored and falls asleep.
Start trying to travel on my vacation time? Vegas, Miami, New York. Never a good drive and a hike, or somewhere quaint like a small town. It’s not that she was awful, she just wasn’t for me.”
Taking A Step Back
“I realized I’d never been in love with him, and that it would not have been fair to continue that farce. He had his issues, as did I, but we were good to each other.
I ended it when his possessiveness resurfaced, and I took a step back to see how many days I was very unhappy but trying to pretend things were okay so he’d be okay. It wasn’t healthy, and we both deserved better.”
Realizing You Don’t Care
“She got mad about something like I wasn’t sitting close enough to her during a crappy movie that she rented. Then she started complaining about something else, I don’t remember.
While she was talking I realized that I didn’t care that she was upset. I realized that I shouldn’t be in a relationship if I didn’t have the energy or desire to care.”