Passive-Aggressive Behaviors You Might Be Guilty Of
When you're upset, your instinct might be to hold in your feelings and not say anything. The problem is that when you bottle your feelings up, you either consciously or subconsciously begin to act out in passive-aggressive ways because you never got to confront those issues.
Here are some of the passive-aggressive behaviors that can come out.
Silently Resenting Your Partner
You don't feel like cuddling with them or kissing them goodbye before walking out the door. All of a sudden, the way they walk to the kitchen is even getting on your nerves. You're upset with them about something else, and you're holding it against them without even realizing it.
Opposing Anything And Everything
Nothing is appealing to you anymore. Whatever is on your mind left a sour taste in your mouth, and now nothing tastes good anymore and you just say no to all offers. Even the things that usually please you aren't doing it anymore.
Procrastinating On Your Tasks
Part of you is doing it as a way of silently punishing whoever is making you do this, and part of you just doesn't even have it in you to do it. You need to clear your mind to tackle your tasks.
Making Intentional Mistakes
You know when you ask a 9-year-old to clean their room and they refuse just to rebel? It's kind of the same thing as an adult. You're channeling the way you feel instead of dealing with it.
Constantly Complaining
You are constantly feeling under-appreciated or cheated by someone, and you want—actually, you need—everyone to know. Nothing is good enough right now, and you feel like everything is working against you.
A Cynical Attitude
You're feeling negative about everything, and you can't stand seeing your partner in a good mood while you feel this way. You're not doing it on purpose, but the more you bottle things up, the more negative your attitude will be.
An Unintentionally Aggressive Demeanor
You're basically ready to snap at any second, but you're trying so hard not to. Instead, you're easily irritated at the little things. If each instance were separate, you wouldn't get that mad, but because it's all adding up, it seems worse.
Blaming Everyone Else
You keep finding ways to blame others for how you feel. It's like a way for you to deflect your feelings so that you don't have to face them. If it's someone else's fault, then you don't have to fix it, right? Wrong. We all have to take responsibility for how we act.
Being Stubborn
Surely, stubbornness can be a powerful positive trait when you're taking a stand. But it can also make it very hard for a person to admit their mistakes and confront the root of their problems rather than being passive-aggressive.
Using Sarcasm As Humor
It's easy to hide behind humor, but they say that every joke is based on some kind of truth. If you're constantly being sarcastic, you're likely finding ways to insert how you're feeling in your jokes rather than actually say it outright.
The Silent Treatment
Rather than dealing with confrontation, you go to the other extreme and avoid them all together. You hope that they will somehow be able to read your mind and know exactly why you're upset and apologize.
Backhanded Compliments
Backhanded compliments are basically subtle insults. They're once again a mask to hide behind while you hint at what you mean without actually saying it. They definitely still feel more like insults than compliments, too, so it's not even subtle.
Constantly Sulking
It's uncomfortable being around people who are in a grumpy and sulky mood. If you act that way often, you might be subconsciously trying to make your partner feel bad so that they ask you what's wrong instead of initiating that conversation yourself.
Sending Mixed Messages
You're hot and cold right now because part of you just wants to forget about what happened and move on, and another part can't let go because you haven't actually been able to work through the issue yet.
Engaging In Gossip
It's a lot easier to talk about the issue with everyone other than the person who is making you feel this way. You get others to reflect your feelings without actually fixing the issue and doing the hard work.
Pushing Your Partner's Buttons Just 'Cause
You're fighting fire with fire. Your partner upset you, so now, as sort-of subtle revenge, you want to push theirs. You want them to understand how you're feeling so that they don't make you feel like that anymore, but this isn't the best way to achieve that goal.
Slamming Doors
You're having difficulty expressing what you're actually feeling, but you still want to be seen and heard. So you let it out in different ways that will get their attention and show them you're upset without addressing it.
Always "Fashionably" Late
You didn't really want to show up, and you'd much rather stay home and sulk, so you end up being late and minimizing the amount of time you have to be there. Especially if the person who made you upset is present there.
Avoiding The Root Of The Problem
By now, you've probably understood that passive-aggressive behavior is just a misplaced reaction to the fact that you haven't identified or dealt with the source of your frustrations. It's a way of avoiding and deflecting.
Failing To Recognize Your Behavior
The worst kind of passive-aggressive behavior is when you're so caught up in your feelings that you don't even realize how you're acting out on it. This prevents you from taking the necessary steps to move on and deal with your emotions in a healthy way.
