Men Share The Worst Dates They’ve Ever Been On
Going on a date is a bit of a gamble. On one hand, things can go really well and you can end up hitting things off with this other person. On the other hand, you can find out that you actually went on a date with a total monster.
These men took to Reddit to share the stories behind the worst dates they've ever gone on.
All Is Unfair In Love And Booty Calls
"My date booty called another dude in front of me in the middle of our date last night and then left."
I mean, she couldn't at least have waited until the date was over?
She Literally Slept On You, Bro
"I had a girl fall asleep during a date. Not narcoleptic or anything—she had been up all night at a concert and worked a full day shift before we met. She refused to postpone the date and ended up falling asleep right on the restaurant table.
"I finished my burger, shook her awake, and told her to go home."
Dancing Did Him Dirty, Alright
"I once went dancing with a date and she went home with someone she met at the club."
One moment, you think you're being romantic by asking her to go dancing, and the next moment, she's leaving with Chad.
Not Her Boyfriend!
"I had been talking to the new girl at work. She'd been over to my apartment before and we had gone running on a second meet up. We also had a movie night that turned into a light makeout session at my apartment.
"One date, I invited her over to make her dinner after those first few meetups and she brought her boyfriend."
Happy Surprise Engagement!
"I didn't even think it was a date. I was invited to dinner and a movie by my physical therapist after completion of long term treatment after a car accident. I got to her house and a party was in progress. It was 'our engagement party.'
"She'd told her family that we'd been dating and now we were getting married. They even had a banner with our names on it."
She Treated Him Like A Walking Wallet
"She brought her friends and expected me to pay for everyone. Her friends were cool but the date ended up being a girls' night out on me.
"Yeah, no thanks."
I'm Assuming There Wasn't A Date Number Two After
"I took a girl out to a fancy dinner at a well-known steakhouse that's about an hour away from where we lived. The dinner itself was great. She commented her steak was fantastic and that she wasn’t used to eating such high-quality steak.
"As we were waiting to exit the parking garage, she held her stomach and started freaking out. She screamed at me to drive onto an empty floor. Once there, she started barking at me to get out of the car. I didn’t know what was going on, so I obliged. She then pooped on my passenger seat."
Nice To Know You Were Thinking Of Someone Else The Whole Time!
"I was once making out with an older girl. In the midst of the action, she said she had to go to the bathroom and never came back.
"Later, she messaged me, saying she couldn't stop thinking about her ex whilst making out with me and had to leave so as to call him."
Nothing Like Feeling Used!
"At a party, a cute girl I didn't know overheard me mention that I thinking of going to the beach the following day. She flirted with me for the rest of the night and suggested that I take her with me so we can spend the day together.
"The next day when we got to the beach, her friends and the guy she clearly really wanted was there. Apparently, she just needed me to get there and didn’t bother even introducing me to anyone. I felt like a moron."
Oh Man, He Was Just The Bystander To A Date
"My college crush asked me out on a date. I showed up to the restaurant, she arrived, we got a table and started chatting. Ten minutes in, another dude shows up and sits down with us. I was super confused, but she introduced him as a friend.
"When this guy went to the bathroom, she told me this is the guy she really wanted to date, but she wasn't sure if he was right for her and wanted my opinion on him."
Three Times? THREE TIMES?!
"On three separate occasions, with three different women, in different states, at the end of the second date, each woman apparently had a change of heart on their sexuality and came out to me as a lesbian."
That's enough to give anyone a complex. I hope it didn't put him off dating.
Now I Ain't Saying She's A Gold Digger, But...
"We went for lunch and she was so boring and only gave one-word answers to most questions.
"The final nail in the coffin was when she asked me what I did for a living (I'm a manufacturing engineer); I went to the bathroom and on the way back to my seat, I noticed she googling how much manufacturing engineers make a year."
She Seems Like A Monster
"The girl I was out for dinner with called one our waiter—who happened to be one of my best friends—the N-word for not bringing her a third serving of ranch dressing."
Yeah, there's no coming back from that.
Love In A Time Of Petty Theft
"She stole my cell phone and wallet from the table after dinner."
I've been on some pretty bad dates in my life, but I'm happy to say that I've never been robbed during one.
Oh, Yikes, That's A Rough Go
"I met a girl online and we decided to meet up in person. When she saw my face, she said, 'Yeah, this isn't what I’m looking for.'"
Then she just walked away.
Bet It Was A Sad Drive Back Home
"This one girl seemed super interested in me, so I drove an hour to where she lived to meet up with her for drinks.
"I sat in a parking lot for an hour waiting to hear from her. She ghosted me and never showed up."
A Whole New World Of Crazy
"I meet this girl at the bar. Through the course of our conversation, she tells me that she's a really big Disney fan, but I assumed that she just likes the movies a lot.
"For our first date, we go and grab coffee. She then proceeds to layout to me how much she actually loves Disney. She went to a Disney camp when she was like 20 and beat a bunch of 7-year-olds in a Disney singing competition. She planned to name her kids after Disney princesses and princes. It went on for two hours before I told her I had to go."
That's Rough, Buddy
"My wife and I were at a nice restaurant and sat down a booth away from another, younger couple, early 20s. After a while, the woman gets up and presumably goes to the bathroom, leaving the guy to sit alone for a long time. The waiter comes up to him, and they have a serious conversation that we can't hear before leaving.
"We asked a server what had happened: the couple was on a date and had agreed to go dutch on the prix fixe dinner (dinner for two plus wine—about $150) but she ditched him after the main course. He did not have a credit card or enough cash to cover both the dinners, so the waiter escorted him to the nearest ATM outside, where he got cash to pay for both their meals."
He Was Age-Fished
"When I was 17 years old, I met a guy through Grindr who was supposed to be 19. Well, he ended up showing up late and he was actually 40.
"I left that date very quickly."
She Was Instead His First Disappointment
"When asked about it during a date, I was honest and told the girl that I was a virgin. She said, 'Sorry, but I can't be your first.'
"Then she just got up and left."
That's A Health Code Violation, Ma'am
"I went on a blind date with a lady who wouldn't stop picking at her scabs. Just made a pile out of them on the restaurant table. I excused myself to use the washroom and when I came back my soup was there but the pile of scabs wasn't.
"No, I didn't eat the soup."
Does This Count As Stalking?
"It wasn't necessarily the date, which was bad on its own, but the fact that she hung out in my parking lot for two hours after she dropped me off 'in case I changed my mind about doing something after dinner.'"
Oof, that's creepy AF. How does that go on for a full two hours?
Did He Date The Literal Devil?
"We were on a first date and the girl started lighting matches randomly, would put them out with her bare fingers, then eat the burnt matchstick head like it was no big deal."
Do men love deranged arsonist vibes? Only one way to find out.
That's Some Clown Behavior
"Not the worst, but definitely the weirdest. I was on a first date with this girl who seemed great and we were asking each other basic first date questions.
"'So, you said you work in an office, but is that what you really want to do?' I asked. 'Did you go to school for it?' 'Actually...' She says, reaching into her bag. 'I'm currently going to clown school.' I kid you not, this girl had pulled out a red clown nose and put it on."
Literally Like Watching A Car Crash In Slow Motion
"We met online and agreed to meet in person at a diner we both knew. I got there first. She arrived, hit the gas instead of the brake, drove into the curb, then hit a light pole which fell over and landed on a parked van.
"No one got hurt, but she was pretty embarrassed about it. Never heard back from her."
Awkward For Everyone Involved
"Got stood up at a café. She called and told me an emergency had come up and she wasn't going to make it. I had only been waiting for a few minutes and wasn't too upset about it, so I called a friend to see what he was doing.
"I ended up meeting him across town at the bar he was drinking at, where he introduced me to the girl who had stood me up who he had just met playing pool there."
Dump Her, Bro
"About 10 minutes after picking a girl up, she asked me to pull to the side of the road to take a dump, and then she proceeded to just take a dump in front of my car."
I know this isn't the biggest question here, but...did she bring her own toilet paper? Was she prepared for this eventuality?
Maybe Bowling Would Have Been Better
"Back in college, I was invited to an ice rink with a girl I liked and some of her friends. I did not know how to ice skate, but I wanted to try and impress her somehow. Well, I hugged the wall the whole time and made a fool of myself.
"She took me back to my apartment and ended the relationship before it began."
In What World Did She Think This Was A Good Idea?
"We spent most of the date going shopping for clothes for another date she had later that week.
"It's kinda funny because she was the one that asked me out."
Well, That's One Way To Show Up To A Date...
"We went to dinner and everything was good except she just seems a bit off. We ordered a pitcher of margaritas. We each have one and, mid-sentence, she just stops talking and stares at her hands. I ask if she's ok and she says 'Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just really drunk.' I tell her I'm surprised because we've only had one drink.
"She says then, 'Oh, I've been drinking all day.'"
Meeting The Parents Early, I Guess
"I asked a college girl out for dinner and to see a play and she invited her mother along. It was so awkward."
Of course you want to meet the parents of a woman you're seeing, but maybe the first date isn't the best time.
I Would Have Pretended To Be Asleep The Whole Drive
"In 2009, I had been seeing a girl for a few weeks and took her across the state to see Keith Urban and Taylor Swift. Paid for tickets and everything. We got to the song 'I Wanna Kiss a Girl' in Keith's set and she said, 'I wish I found you attractive so I could kiss you.'
"We had to finish the show and had a 2.5-hour drive back home."
Suddenly, I Don't Consume Liquids Anymore
"I used to deliver pizzas to a certain hotel quite regularly and the cute girl at the front desk (I was acquainted with her before through a friend) asked if I wanted to get a drink. Turns out it was more of a vent-session about her ex for two hours. I tried to intersperse something here or there or change the subject but everything had to be about him.
"It was awkward every time I'd go to the hotel for my job and she'd ask to get a drink after. I had to pretend to be sober."
The Ending Is The Most Important Part!
"My date used 2-hour street parking when we went to see Interstellar. We had to leave about 20 minutes before the end of the movie to get to her car in time.
"I still haven't seen the end."
Didn't Even Like Her And He Got Sick
"A mutual friend set us up. We had a lot of similar interests and the date was mostly great, but I wasn't that into her after it was all said and done.
"She wouldn't leave me alone even after I directly told her I didn't want to go on another date. And, while it's impolite to kiss and tell, she ended up giving me mono."
Is Kissing Less Intimate Than Hand-Holding?
"I planned a picnic at a park that was showing an outdoor movie. Wine, snacks, blanket. It was nice; we snuggled a bit. Kissed once.
"When we packed up to leave, I held her hand. I was told that was a little too aggressive and forward of me. Then I was ghosted."
A Terrible Way To End The Night
"We had a lovely time eating and went on to have a cocktail at the river bar. After having a seat she looked around and suddenly acted weird. At some point she stood up and went to a table, arguing with a guy who was with a woman.
"She made a gesture and I went over. She was telling the guy she moved on and I am her bf now. We hadn't kissed before because it was our first date, but she tried to French kiss me and became quite forceful."
No High School First Date Was Smooth
"In high school, I got set up on a blind date for homecoming. We had absolutely zero chemistry.
"We danced one silent, awkward dance out of a sense of obligation. Pretty sure she was just as relieved as I was when it was over."
Taking Your Shoes Off In Public Should Be A Crime
"It was at a coffee shop in a library. She showed up and the very first thing she did was remove her shoes and put them on the table.
"Later, she mentioned how she was obsessed with victims of serial killers and had them tattooed on her body."
It Was Over The Moment You Went To Denny's
"Halfway through dinner at Dennys (her choice, not mine), on my birthday, she told me she liked the gay guy on the water polo team and left me with the bill."
The classic Denny's dumping. Has anything good ever happened in a Denny's? Dude, you should have known.
