Let’s Start Normalizing These Relationship Faux Pas
There seem to be so many rules about dating. Too many, if you ask me. The reality is that so many of the conventional relationship expectations and rules are outdated, only apply on a case by case basis, or are just completely irrelevant!
A relationship should meet your own personal needs, standards, and desires, and it doesn't matter what anybody else says about how you got there.
You Don't Have To Marry Just 'Cause You've Dated 5+ Years
You should be able to date for as long as you want with no pressure to put a ring on it. Marriage no longer has to be the end goal. It's expensive and ends up just being a piece of paper. It's how you treat each other and value your love that truly counts.
There Is No Timeline For When To Introduce Them To Your Family
Some people share much closer bonds with their families than others. You shouldn't be embarrassed because you introduced them "too early" or ashamed because you're taking too long. It's whenever the time feels right!
You Don't Need To Get Along With Your In-Laws
You're not dating their parents, you're dating them. Sure, it's a huge bonus if you get along and get through the holidays with zero awkwardness, but if they have something against you or you don't agree with them, who cares?
All that matters is that you and your partner are happy and in a healthy relationship.
You Can Have Friends Of The Opposite Sex
Women and men can be friends! I repeat: women and men can be friends! You're allowed to be friends with whoever, and if your partner has a problem with it, then it might be time to look into the deeper root of the problem. Often it's a sign of lack of trust or insecurity.
You Don't Need To Experience Living Together Before Marriage
It used to be that you shouldn't live together before marriage because it was inappropriate. Now, you keep hearing that you shouldn't get married before having lived together for at least a year to experience their habits and see if their lifestyle matches yours.
So which is it? The answer is whatever makes sense for you.
You Don't Need To Lower Your Standards If You're Over 30
It doesn't matter how old you are, if you're divorced, if you have 27 children, or if you've recently put on weight, you should never, ever lower your standards. Settling will only hurt you down the line.
You're Allowed To Want Unlimited Space
If you're in someone's face all day, every day, chances are you'll get to a point of bickering or getting on each other's nerves no matter how much you love each other.
Taking space for just yourself is so important. It allows you to recharge, have time alone with your thoughts, and to practice your self-care and hobbies.
It's Okay To Go To Bed Angry
The saying is way too outdated. If you stay up to end an argument just for the sake of not going to bed angry, you'll likely just go to bed angrier and wake up exhausted.
Instead, try sleeping on it and coming back to the issue in a calmer state of mind so you can actually talk it out.
It's Okay To Get Back Together With An Ex
Why do second chances get such a bad rep even though we always root for it in rom-coms? Sometimes, relationships deserve a second try when both people show growth, remorse, forgiveness, understanding of what went wrong, and a willingness to work on it.
In fact, sometimes those end up being the best kinds of relationships.
Your Friends And Family Don't Have To Approve
Just like you don't have to get along with your in-laws, you don't need to get everyone's approval on who you date. Listen to what they have to say—they're only looking out for your best interests, after all—but the ultimate choice should be yours, and you shouldn't be reprimanded for it.
If it's a mistake, it's your mistake to make and learn from.
It Doesn't Matter Which One Of You Is The Breadwinner
Rigid gender roles are a thing of the past. A man should not feel unmasculine for enjoying staying home to cook, and a woman shouldn't be regarded as intimidating or careless for leaving the children at home and going to work. It's whatever works and whatever you prefer.
You Don't Have To Share The Same Socio-Economical Background
Families used to insist on marrying into another family who was of the same social class or shared the same values, religion, etc.
Today, it's okay—and even encouraged—to mix and match. You can build the life that you want together and leave behind whatever it is that you come from.
It's Okay To Date Around Before Committing
There is nothing wrong with going on dates with more than one person at once. Give yourself the chance to figure out what you're looking for and to find out who is most compatible with you, rather than just fully giving yourself to the first "okay" person that comes along.
It's Natural To Still Be Attracted To Other People
Being in a relationship doesn't mean you suddenly lose your eyesight. It's okay to see someone walking past you and think they're cute. Just don't act on it or be shady about it.
Jealousy Is NOT Cute
Freedom and trust are key components of a healthy relationship. Things happen. If you're out late with friends and your phone dies, it's okay. You're an adult who is allowed to have that independent time away. You shouldn't then come home to an argument.
You Don't Always Have To Plan For The Future
It's okay to not know where a relationship is going and to just want to make the best of whatever it is for as long as possible. It's okay to just want companionship without looking for a life partner, as long as you're both on the same page. Marriage isn't the only goal.
You Shouldn't Always Need To Be The Bigger Person
You are entitled to your feelings too, and you shouldn't need to always be the one to apologize just to end the argument and move on. It's important for both parties to be kept accountable.
The Way You Love Is Never "Too Much"
If they're saying you're "needy" or "too much," it's likely that they're not the right person to receive and understand the way that you love. You shouldn't have to change and restrict yourself.
You Don't Have To Share The Same Views
You don't always need to agree—being challenged is good for growth. They might even expand your mind to the point where you take on some of each other's values and learn how to be more accepting and open-minded. It's all about how you choose to compromise, how you listen, and how you communicate.
They Don't Need To Be Your Number One Priority
YOU are the number one priority. Your partner is there to complement your life and happiness. If you start to always cater to them and put their needs before yours, you will feel drained and unhappy and lose the reason why you should be with them in the first place.
